what I love… part 1

1) I love having someone (or some cat) to cuddle with. My cat curled up under the covers with me and I felt so loved
2) I love watching television and looking for the humanity and redemption in the characters.
3) I love it when someone cooks for me
4) I love eating dinner with friends/family around a table.

Every week, we go to my sister/brother-in-laws house and have dinner with them and our neice and nephew. We each bring something to the table.  Tonight, we’re bringing the pizza bread and dessert and they are making homemade soup.  We laugh, we talk about our weeks, we plan for our futures, we tease…

At least once a month, we gather around a table at my in-laws with the whole family for a meal.  It’s usually the same thing – something off the grill, barbeque chicken, potatoes, green beans, and salad.  It’s all simple food and it’s SO good. we do a lot of teasing and we play cards and we have a good time.

This week I had two other table meals.  First for a funeral supper.  And while I sat at a table with people who were strangers, by the time we left, we were acquainted.  We talked about what a good man the gentleman who had died was.  We talked about the food – and holy cow was that walnut nut cake GOOD! We talked about where we were from – and everyone was curious about who I was – how old I was – where I cam from.  

Our other table meal was at the church.  We are starting a new monthly tradition of a potluck during youth group time.  And so around this table was some of our normal youth group crowd, plus parents and grandparents and other people from the congregation who just want to be there.  And when we finished eating around that big huge table, we played games together. 

What do I love about eating around a table?  It’s eucharistic.  We get to know one another better around the table.  We have to look other people in the face.  We talk.  We share.  We pass the plates and we pass stories. Especially when young and old, rich and poor, strangers and friends gather in one place there is a sense that without this larger community, we are nothing.  We need one another.  Our lives are incomplete – the table is incomplete – unless they are there. 

Sometimes the table is awkward.  Many times we do start as strangers.  There were times during each of those last two meals I mentioned when there were silences we didn’t know how to fill, or clique conversations that left others out. 

But there were also moments of pure grace and fellowship.  An older gentleman who reconnected with a youth that hasn’t been in church for a few years. A beautiful woman who is 93 years old who wanted to send me one of her cookbooks – that she has handwritten.  The congregation seeing glimpses of the lives of our young people and the ways that they take care of one another.  Hearing hurts and pains – and knowing you were in a place safe enough to share them. 

There is a reason that we gather at the table.  There is a reason Christ gathered his disciples around a table.  It is where community happens.

My husband and I rarely eat at the table.  Dinner time comes at the same time some of our favorite shows are on and so we normally fill our plates and plop down on the couch together.  And for some reason, to be honest, the table for just two seems pretty empty.  But when we have friends over, we eat at the table.  When family comes over, we eat at the table.  And when our family gets bigger – eating at the table will be required =)

love list

Kristin T. over on Halfway to Normal has been talking a lot about love lists lately.
a list that you make over time detailing the things you love most in life—the things that make you feel most content in the world, and most like you.
She goes on to say that while this is very personal sort of thing, that there could be accountability built around sharing our lists with one another. So she lists four “steps”:

  1.  start making your love list! I love the part about how we shouldn’t just sit down and brainstorm, but we really should pay attention to whenever we feel complete and good and whole after we have done something – and THEN add it to the list.
  2. Ask why that thing is on the list… what is behind it?
  3. Share on twitter #lovelist
  4. share progress on Halfway to Normal on Friday’s.

I’m going to do this!!!  Mostly because I really need something to help me focus my life right now. Some days I feel like I’m just floating waiting for the next thing to come. Some days I feel like I’ve wasted so much time that I can’t enjoy the things I really care about. I feel like I’m making so many poor decisions (not major decisions – but little ones like how I spend the first 15 minutes when I get home) because I don’t have any criteria in place. I haven’t thought enough about my day to really consider what is the most important and what brings me the most joy.

This also makes me think about the fact that I haven’t yet done the Time Management audit my friend Jessica Miller Kelley suggests we all do. It helps us figure out our true priorities in our day so that we can figure out if we need things to change.

For me, this isn’t just some creative way to schedule.  It really is a spiritual exercise.  If the Holy Spirit is the agent of life and joy in our lives – than am I ignoring the Spirit on a day to day basis?  How can I pay more attention to the gentle nudges?  How can I better align my will with God’s will?  Where do I need to adjust some things in my life and possibly even let go of somet hings, so that I can more fully experience the gifts and the blessings God has surrounded me with? 
In three weeks, I’ll be joining other young adult clergy at a retreat and one of our “sessions” will be on time and scheduling. But I think in many ways this whole idea of priorities and what we love needs to be a part of that conversation. I can’t guarantee I’ll have a handle on anything by then, but if I make a start, maybe I’ll have something to offer to the conversation.