administration – Salvaged Faith

tea and danish

Posted on September 29, 20101 Comment

I’ve blogged before about how church visitation makes my skin crawl. It gets me all weirded out for no good reason at all. It is one of two places that my “introverted” side really shines through – the other being the sheer exhaustion that comes over me when I finally get back home after a morning spent at church on a Sunday.

I think part of the reason visitation is so awkward for me (and not the actual visits… and not hospital visits or nursing home visits… its working up to the visit and actually arriving on the doorstep that is hard) is that I don’t want to intrude on people’s lives. I don’t want to show up unannounced. I don’t want to butt in. I know lots of people who would prefer to simply be left alone. Frankly, when someone shows up on my doorstep – even if I’m kind of expecting them – and I’m wearing my fuzzy red pajama pants and my glasses are on and my hair is hastily in a ponytail – I would rather not answer the door. And I’m certainly not going to invite them in.

SO.

big problem if you want to be a pastor who tends the flock.

Big problem that I think I have solved.

I now invite folks to invite me over. Or invite them to stop by. Or invite them to let me know where/when we can meet for coffee.

I’m sending out these little postcards to folks, one chunk of the alphabet at the time. And they have the chance to mail them back or drop them in the offering plate and give me some feedback:

Sure- come on over to my house, and here are the times that are good for me.

How about we meet for coffee or lunch somewhere?

I would love to come into the church and visit with you in your office.

Thanks for the offer, but I am not interested in a personal visit at this time.

Just making that decision, to put the ball in my members court, was liberating.

Today, I had my first visit in someone’s home as a result of using these cards. And it was awesome. I got the grand tour of her house. We had danish and cups of tea in the kitchen. She sent me home with some apples from the tree in her backyard. We talked about her family and the ways that she had served the church and she had the opportunity to ask me questions about a new position she was taking on for the next year. And it was because she knew I was coming, and I knew she was expecting me, and because we both wanted to get to know one another better that we had such a wonderful time.

In some ways, I felt like by using this new method I was cheating just a little bit, but after talking with my superintendent, he helped me to realize a few things.

First – this allows my congregation members to respond as they feel comfortable. This is a german community and folks are pretty private. They don’t let you into their personal lives easily. We would rather put on a proud face than admit we have problems and while we are quick to help out, we resist help from anyone else. This method allows those who want to visit the opportunity to do so – in their own way.

Second – it takes the pressure off the cold calls. It allows me to be more comfortable, because I already know that this particular person or family is expecting me. They aren’t worried about what their home looks like, because they invited me to come over. They aren’t rushing out the door for a soccer game, because this is a time that is good for them. They are prepared for me to show up. Or we are meeting somewhere at a specific time and have the chance to grab a cup of coffee and we both know that this time is set aside for a conversation.

Third – It lets folks know that I really do care about them, that I’m willing to make the effort to get out and see them… even if they are people that haven’t been to church in ages. Most of those folks are not going to return the cards. And so the question that I’m struck with is – do I call and follow up? Or do I respect their decision not to reach out? I think the sentiment we ended on was that if I continue to make these kinds of efforts – not right away – but every once and a while – they’ll know I really do care. That I’m not pestering. And that when they are ready – I will be too.

chaotic peace

Posted on July 6, 20102 Comments

The other day, B strongly encouraged me to organize my pocketbook. It seemed like such a silly thing at the time, but there it was, busting at the seams with reciepts and cash sticking out and no hope of ever closing. He said – if you can get that thing to close right, maybe there is hope for you after all. And I did! =) All I had to do was take the checkbook out, put the cash in the right spot, and tuck my recipets in the pocket where the extremely seldom used checkbook had been.

I think my husband would describe me as a person who thrives on chaos. What he would mean by that is that I kind of let things go and forget about them and let everything hang out flapping about until a kind of critical point is reached. And then I jump into this frenzy of action and wham bam boozle – somehow, things kind of work out.

“Kind of” is the operative part of the phrase there.

It is true that for much of my life, that is how I have viewed the world. I’ll put something off until the absolute last possible moment. I hate confronting conflict or unpleasant tasks. I ignore things until I have to face them. And while I have, for the most part, been successful in this way of doing things, it is not my best. And it doesn’t work for everyone.

This last week, I preached on peace. And as is sometimes the case as a pastor, I felt like I was preaching to myself. Because peaceful is often the last thing that I feel in this chaotic way that I operate. Peaceful is not the word to describe the way relationships sometimes turn out due to this way of operating. Peaceful is not the word to describe the garden space on the south side of my house. Peaceful is not the proper adjective for newsletter creating, or bulletin producing, or sermon writing… at least not in my life.

As I spent some time wrestling with peace this week, I was reminded of the hebrew idea of shalom. Shalom is more than peace – it is right relationship, right order, wholeness and harmony. And not in some fuzzy, hippie, feel good sense. You know how you look around and see that things are just out of whack? when you can’t figure out how to make things fit or you know in your gut that something is off… that is the lack of shalom. And an article by Bruce Birch caught my attention when he wrote that the opposite of shalom is chaos.

You see, as much as I thrive on this chaos… as much as I am comfortable with the way that I operate… that doesn’t mean it is good for me. The peace that I obtain as I work this way, as I play this way, as I love this way is not full. It is partial and it is grasping. But to open myself up to right priorities… to find balance in my life… to seek out order and a proper time for things… to allow God to guide me… to let go of some things and delegate others… maybe that could bring shalom. Maybe letting go of my comfortable chaos might help me to truly find the peace that passes all understanding.

How I end up finding this order in my life is a different question. It’s not enough to just pray about it. I am firmly of the belief that prayer also requires action on our behalf. I’ve already organized my pocketbook, so at least I’m starting somewhere. I consolidated all of my google calendars so that all of my appointments show up at the same time on my blackberry. But just ready to come to the surface is the realization that the way I do church has to radically change. I need to hand some things off. I need to let go and find people to take over a few things that may have been the pastor’s job in the past… like doing the newsletter… so that I can be freed up to do the things I am called to do. As much as I enjoy them. As much as I am comfortable doing them. They create chaos as I try to stuff everything in and clasp the darn thing shut. And letting it go might be the answer I’m looking for.

Plug into these resources

Posted on May 18, 2010Leave a comment

I have a few go-to websites and resources for church work. And I thought I’d share and encourage you to list your own in the comments! (These come in no particular order)

1) The Text This Week (http://www.textweek.com/): This is a lectionary resource that has a wonderful compilation of prayers, commentaries, articles, music, and ponderings from all over the world.

2) Lectionary Liturgies (http://lectionaryliturgies.blogspot.com/) I actually first connected with Thom Shuman’s work through Text Week, but since then I have added him to my blog reader. I think that he has wonderful prayers that always seem to hit in the right spot with where my preaching is headed for the week. I also appreciate the communion liturgy and try to weave bits and pieces together with our congregational prayer of thanksgiving.

3) Jan Richardson’s art (http://www.janrichardson.com/) I think her pieces are beautiful and she has been working on a lectionary series also at http://paintedprayerbook.com/ She now is allowing churches and organizations to use individual pieces through a licensing agreement.

4) Stock Exchange (http://www.sxc.hu/) – It sounds like a sketchy website, but this is the absolute best resource for stock photography for FREE that I have found. Amateur photographers post their work to be used for a variety of different applications and I have discovered some amazing pictures here. Most of my blog pics come from this site. Most pictures have standard restrictions that just say that your work can’t be sold unless the photographer grants permisison to do so, but the images can be used for logos, illustration, pamphlets, etc. I use the pictures for slide shows, photo montages, website work… its fabulous.

5) Expression Engine (http://expressionengine.com/) – This is the company our church website is through. They have fantastic customer support, a very simple publishing engine, and wonderful templates. As a non-profit we pay about $10/month for hosting and support… which includes email addresses hosted through our site. I think it is a fantastic investment.

6) The Work of the People (http://www.theworkofthepeople.com/) – Awesome visual liturgy resources. My suggestion – buy the 10 for $50 membership pack. We got resources that lasted us all year long for only $50, which amazingly allowed us to get the entire Lenten Series (6 videos, stills, loops) as ONE of our 10. Unbelieveable value.

pull to plant

Posted on November 7, 2009Leave a comment

This week I’ve spent a lot of time outside. For Pastor Appreciation Month my congregation gave me a gift certificate to Earl May and some gardening tools. And it was an extremely meaningful gift because a) it means that they understand some of the ways that I take care of myself (gardening) and b) it allowed me to get some things done in the midst of the stressful time of ordination papers too.

To be honest – if I hadn’t recieved that gift, the south side of my house would still be a mess. There would be tall grasses and crazy trees and weeds and leaves all over. I affectionately have referred to it as the eyesore on the south side. At least once before I’ve tried to clear the area – but then when our plants didn’t arrive, it soon grew back over.

So this past week – in the amazing warm weather for the first week of November (in the 50’s) I’ve taken a few hours each day to slowly but surely work on it.

Monday, my mom went with me to pick out some shrubs and bulbs and then helped me do some clearing. Throughout the week I’ve dug out stumps, removed the plastic underlayer, pulled weeds, broke a shovel and have some nasty bruises to show for my work.

Then yesterday – the shrubs went in the ground. There are two “fire chief” conifers, a blueberry plant, and a mandarin azaela. Today after the Iowa game I will probably be working on planting some tulip, crocus and dafodill bulbs.

In the midst of all of that, I had some time to think. About how overgrown other areas of my life are and where the chaos needs to be put in order and weeded and new things planted. The truth is that new things cannot take root unless room is made – unless everything else moves away.

As a pastor this is absolutely true. The last week in October I tried to work on my papers, but I left too many of my other responsibilities in the way. I got very little done and it took a lot of effort to get there. But this week I took time away from my other tasks, escaped to coffee shops and my office and progress was made.

As I try to nurture leadership development – I have to get myself out of the way and pull up my roots so that there is room for new leaders to emerge. I’m thinking about various ways to encourage new growth in the congregation and to fertilize those who have said yes, but aren’t sure of their new surroundings. A leadership retreat is definately in my plans – but I’m also thinking about restructuring our meeting arrangements so that more than one group meets at once, and I move between groups. Not having me to rely on means that others will have to take over the reigns – but I can also be there when they do need me. My real task needs to be working with leaders, not running the meetings.

That arrangement would also free up more time to meet individually with leaders in the congregation, do the visitation of our homebound members, and build relationships with our youth and families.

ordination papers and other tasks

Posted on October 26, 20091 Comment

This morning I put a sign up at the church letting people know that I would be working from home for the next two weeks. The big reason: Ordination Papers.

I had originally planned on just getting out of dodge for a full week and going somewhere quiet where no one would bother me. But I can’t find a full week anywhere in my schedule. And realistically – I would die of boredom holed up somewhere with only my laptop and some books to keep me company. I need to work on this gradually – a few hours at a time – and then know that I can watch my favorite television shows at night and cuddle with my hubby. Well, all of those things plus the fact that I never actually scheduled a full week off to do this and I can’t find any time in my schedule now to make it happen.

So instead, I’m going to keep myself away from the lure of the office and hole up in my office at home. I’m going to light some candles and wrap myself in an afghan and sit on the couch and work. I’m going to keep Pandora going in the background and use up all of my 40 hours… and then get another 40 hours the second week with the change in the month! I have already cleaned the house, the laundry has been caught up and so there aren’t unnecessary distractions to worry about there. I’m also planning on taking a couple of walks here and there out in the fall leaves for some spiritual renewal in the process.

The only real distractions I face are two-fold: the everyday church stuff that needs accomplished – bulletins, newsletter, advent prep and msn games. I’m covenanting with myself not to play zuma or mah-jong tiles for the next two weeks. And I’m going to bust out the church work this afternoon – at home, in the safety of my office – so that it’s done and I won’t worry about it when I get going on something else. I’m going to create bulletins and then on Wednesday – while my wonderful volunteers are putting together the newsletters I’m going to print out – ahead of time – all of the bulletins. It will be done, and I will be able to spend the next week and a half focusing on what I have to do.

Keep me in your prayers as I first get some tasks accomplished and then dive head first into 40 pages of work!!!

breathe in, breathe out

Posted on October 16, 2009Leave a comment

Photo by: Thomas Boulvin

My life has been a little bit insane lately.

As a pastor, as a wife, as a daughter, as an aunt, as a sister, as a home… well, home-occupier. Every facet of my life has pulled me and stretched me and stressed me out and brought me joy and helped me to grow and made me happy. All in the short two week span between October 1 and October 15.

I’ve met with families of loved ones who have died. I have wrestled with divorce and separation and legal battles in the church and in my family – and the heartache that comes from just wanting to make all of those things better and just wanting people to love one another yet again pr at the very least to stop hurting one another so badly and not being able to do anything.

I’ve waded through mistakes and miscommunications and “I’m sorry”s and “I love you”s and apologies and goal setting and covenants and unworthiness and unconditional love and communion and meetings and singing and laughter and tears and anger and worry and muddy dirt roads and chicken noodle soup and piles of paper and paint stores and hugs and stories and fumbles and touchdowns and …

I’m exhausted. But this afternoon I get to go and meet the newest addition to our family. And tomorrow I get to hang out with my brothers and sister-in-law and dad. and next week, even though our young clergy retreat is postponed – I’m taking a personal day to enjoy all of the blessings that have arrived in the midst of the chaos and to celebrate the clarity of vision that has come through the storms.

Worship, Encouragement, and Not Taking It Personally

Posted on August 17, 2009Leave a comment

Yesterday, we had maybe 30-35 in worship. It was a very quiet Sunday – and we shared an intensely powerful worshipping experience. So in the aftermath, I had two wonderful saints of the church come up and tell me not to be discouraged.

I realized as they both were offering their words of uplift that I wasn’t discouraged. I hadn’t really taken the low attendance (months of low attendance actually) personally. I decided it wasn’t about me, and so I wasn’t going to let it get to me.

What is on my mind however, is a question of what has changed. While I think some people recognize this as the summer slump, the truth is that here and there for six months now, things have been about the same. We’ll have a sunday with 60-65, but then we hover in the 40-50 range. On a special day like Easter or Confirmation we’ll hit around 100 – but that’s few and far between.

Of the 40-50 group, about half of those come every single sunday faithfully. The rest are more sporadic. Every other Sunday, once or twice a month, there for a few weeks, then gone for a few. Here in the summer, gone in the winter or vice versa. When we all show up – we have a crowd! When we don’t – our sanctuary feels sparse and empty.

Someone noted that worship is a habit – and that many in our church just are not in the regular habit of coming every week. Some lament the fact that other activities have encroached on Sunday morning’s sacred time slot – and there are more sporting events and activities to draw away our young families than ever.

The question I’m wrestling with is: WHY is Sunday morning from 9-12 so sacred?

There is the whole “Lord’s Day” thing. In my Sacred Time class, I remember vividly the discussion about how the Sabbath, the seventh day is really Saturday – that we worship on the “first” and the “eighth” day of the week. We worship in a time out of time – a little Easter every Sunday – both the beginning and the end and everything in between coming to bear on this one moment of sacred worship. But is this experience of “holy time travel” really about the day? Or is it about the mystery of God coming to meet us? And if that’s the case, can’t our “little Easter” experience be on Sunday afternoon? or Wednesday night? or Tuesday morning?

Going off of that, because of the sacredness of the Lord’s Day, many people only think/talk about God on Sunday. The rest of the week, they do their own thing and worship/prayer/study is the farthest thing from their mind.

There is the battle against secular culture thing. Many I talk to hold onto this time slot dearly because it is the last remaining vestage of cultural Christianity. What once were blue laws forbidding stores to be open and the prohibition of alcohol sales on Sunday (in Nashville you couldn’t buy hard liquor/wine on a Sunday – but you could buy beer… i mean, tailgating is sacred too!), now mostly is just a distaste for activity on Sunday morning. We at once try to hold fast to the idea of sabbath and perpetuate its breaking. Our youth work during this time, our Sunday School teachers stop at the grocery store to pick up donuts for class, we all want to go out to brunch after church, etc. But suggest we worship some other time? Never!!

I know a couple where the wife works the weekend option at the hospital. She works 12 hour day/nights on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Morning worship, even Saturday or Sunday evening worship just don’t work for them. They are left out.

I know a couple where the husband works the night shift Saturday at the plant. By the time he gets settled in for the night, he has barely gotten enough sleep to wake up for church in the morning. When he can’t help get the kids going, the wife finds it easier to stay home with the whole crew. They are left out.

I know a family matriarch whose family wants to spend time together on Sundays. She often feels torn between preparing a meal for her children/grandchildren and making it to church. Both are good things to do. When she chooses her family, she is left out.

I know a youth who terrific basketball player. Some weeks tournaments take them out of town for the weekend and her whole family gets in the van and travels together to the site. She is making three pointers, but their family is left out.

I know a mom who has five kids. Getting them all up and ready at the same time to come to church, and then spending the hour of worship telling them to sit and be quiet and keeping them entertained isn’t worshipful for her. And she feels like they are distracting others. So most of the time they stay home. They are left out.

I don’t have any answers. I don’t know if any of those folks would even show up to a Wednesday evening service, or a Sunday evening service. I’m not sure if I can fit preparing another sermon a week into my schedule. I have my own family obligations (and Sabbath needs) that make my heart hesitate when I think about Saturday/Sunday evening worship. But I do know that there are also people who are left out. And I pray that God will help us to find creative ways to share worship with them.

First Mission Trip

Posted on July 17, 20091 Comment

In about 20 hours, we leave for my first youth mission trip… as an adult that is. I’m excited, nervous, hoping I have all of my i’s dotted and t’s crossed, but I’m also absolutely positive that I have forgotten something major.

I’m not a details person. I am a big picture person. I am an optimist. And so I plan the big stuff and just pray the details sort themselves out. Which makes people crazy. Like my mom and husband in the weeks before our wedding. Or people at the church when a big event is coming up. The details are better left to other people. They aren’t my strength.

That being said – we are using group workcamps to do the details for us. They have given me a list. I think all my boxes are checked! I have things printed out and in a binder. I think I’m ready.

Now I just need your prayers. Prayers for safe driving… especially since it has been a while since I have driven a 15 passenger van. Prayers for our 5 kids and two adults going. Prayers for all of those we will serve this week. Prayers for the 100 people total who will be on the trip. Prayers for all of those who lead us. Keep praying!!!