Sing! Play! Summer! – Hymn of Promise / In the Garden

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Text: Isaiah 46:8-13

I’m just going to say it out loud…
these have been some difficult weeks we have shared together:
The loss and grief we have experienced…
The pain in the world in the wake of mass shootings and the crisis of migration and climate…
The sense of helplessness about being able to do anything to make it better…

When I find myself feeling discouraged, vulnerable, and down about the world, it is usually the church that helps me to feel better.
The people… the songs… the prayer… the time spent in the presence of God.
But as United Methodists these days, there is also a sense that the church itself is stuck. Broken. Falling apart. We are so busy arguing about who is right and what should be done that we are completely out of tune with the real, deep needs of the world.

But then I sat down and began to study a number of chapters from our lesson for this morning.
God called this prophet to speak a word of comfort and release to a community in exile:
“Speak compassionately to Jerusalem and proclaim that her compulsory service has ended.” (40:2)
“I am the Lord your God, who grasps your strong hand, who says to you, Don’t fear; I will help you.” (41:13)
“I, the Lord, will respond to them; I, the God of Israel, won’t abandon them.” (41:17)
“I announced, I saved, I proclaimed, not some stranger among you. You are my witnesses, says the Lord, and I am God.” (43:12)
“Look! I’m doing a new thing; now it springs up; don’t you recognize it? I’m making a way in the desert, paths in the wilderness.” (43:19)
“Listen to me, house of Jacob… who have been borne by me since pregnancy, whom I carried from the womb until you grow old. I am the one, and until you turn gray I will support you.” (46:3-4)

“Remember this and take courage; take it to heart, you rebels… I am God! There’s none like me who tells the end at the beginning… saying ‘My plan will stand; all that I decide I will do.’” (46:8-10)

God, through Isaiah, is not speaking to a bunch of people who have it all together.
This is not a message for the perfect or the righteous.
This good news isn’t offered to people who have never known pain or hardship or frustration or grief.
No… they are wallowing in it.
Their country has been destroyed. Their loved ones killed. Their very way of life has crumbled.
They are struggling to make sense of what it means to go on, to take the next step, to move forward when everything familiar has been taken away.

And the words they hear from their God… The words WE need to hear from God…
“this, too, shall pass.”
“Don’t be afraid.”
“Remember.”
“Look around for the gifts in the grief.”
“I’ve got you.”
“In the beginning is the end, in the end is the beginning.”

Do any of those words offer answers? No.
Do they make it better right now? No.
But they do remind us that we are not alone.
They remind us that human life and institutions are fragile… just like the grass that dries up and the flower that withers (Isaiah 40:8)… but that we have been and are and will be held by and sustained by a word and a promise and a plan and a power that has always been and always will be.
These words of comfort offer strength when we might collapse in despair.
They invite us to be present. To pay attention. To embrace the unknown.
To trust that this moment is not all of the story or the end of the story.

This summer, we have been exploring the favorite songs of Immanuel and today we have grouped together two hymns that sing aloud those truths: “Hymn of Promise” and “In the Garden.”

When Natalie Sleeth wrote, “Hymn of Promise,” she was inspired by a line from T.S. Eliot that “in our end is our beginning” and the way the world itself reawakens with every spring. What is the nature of life and death when we hold in our hearts the promise of resurrection?
This hymn is yet another of these great songs we have been sharing that was written by a United Methodist. Her husband was a UM pastor and taught homiletics at Perkins while she shared her love of music in a local church and began writing anthems and hymns. She is the composer who brings us “Joy in the Morning” and reminds us that songs rise from silence, darkness becomes light, and death gives way to the victory of life.
But what I appreciate the most about Sleeth’s work is that it doesn’t paper over our grief or our discomfort or pain with flowery words.
It dives right into them.
She acknowledges them.
And she creates room for us to embrace that even in that brokenness and apparent death the mystery of wholeness and life and peace that is on the horizon.

We need to hang on to that mystery of the unknown.
I’m reminded of the words of Matt Rawle, whose book, “What Makes a Hero?” we studied over Lent a couple of years back.
He talked about the reason why it was so difficult for people to embrace Jesus as their Savior because we want a magic wand. We want a superhero savior who “will just swoop in and fix [ our problems].” (p. 125)
But if that savior is headed towards the reality of death – there is no saving there for us.
The crowds of people drastically misunderstood how Jesus saves us.
The kingdom Jesus ushers in doesn’t start in some heaven far away, but right here and right now.
Like a mustard seed planted in a garden or yeast hidden in flour, the kingdom breaks forth out of what we thought was dead, buried, hidden away.
The kingdom is the power of new life rising out of death.
The kingdom says that in every end there is a new beginning.
Our God can take any and every broken and painful moment we experience and redeem them.
They don’t go away.
But they are transformed.

Even the death of Jesus unexpectedly brings something new out of what we thought was over and done with.
Not immediately… but with time and work and patience and not a little bit of grace and power and glory.
The mustard seed becomes a great tree.
The yeast causes the bread to rise.
In the bulb there is a flower.
The stone that sealed the tomb is rolled away.

Which takes us to that other beloved hymn of Immanuel – “In the Garden.”
I say it is beloved, but the truth is, there are probably just as many people who despise “In the Garden” as cherish it.
I remember working to plan Dorie Campbell’s funeral and as we were deciding on what songs to sing, we picked “In the Garden,” fully knowing that she would have been upset with us for doing so because she thought it was grammatically inaccurate. Others find it to be too overly personal and ever erotic.
C. Austin Miles wrote this hymn after a mediation upon the resurrection story in the gospel of John. The language he uses is personal and intimate and it draws upon a tradition of devotional poetry where one imagines themselves in the story itself, part of the scene, walking and talking with Jesus.
We are invited to step into the shoes of Mary… to enter that garden filled with grief and love… and to encounter the resurrected Christ and the joy of new life.
But we also can’t stay there.
You see, in the third verse of that hymn, we find ourselves with a dilemma.
Sometimes we want to stay at the tomb with the stone rolled away.
That one perfect moment of hope when everything had fallen apart.
It’s better. We tell ourselves.
I’m going to stay right here forever.

But we can’t stay at the empty tomb.
We need to listen to the voice of Christ calling us to go.
Go out into the world.
Go and tell others what we have experienced.
Go and share the good news.
Go and offer signs of life and hope.

Like the prophet Isaiah, in the midst of the grief and pain of the world, we can’t keep the hope and promise to ourselves. It is our duty to head back out there and offer it to everyone we meet.
“this, too, shall pass.”
“Don’t be afraid.”
“Remember.”
“Look around for the gifts in the grief.”
“I’ve got you.”
“In the beginning is the end, in the end is the beginning.”

beginning again

Spring is here in full force and that makes me want to be outside… but it also reminds me that winter has been a time of sloth.

I got up this morning and worked out with wii fit. I did yoga and strength exercises and then finished with a little bit of cardio. I know it’s not much – but if I do a little everyday, that will add up to a whole lot more than I’m currently doing.

I’m also trying to get up at 7:30 every morning. I’m going to use my mornings off to garden, spend time reading on the porch, and getting chores around the house done. I’ve just realized that when I get home from church I don’t want to do ANY of those things and so they just don’t get done. If I stick with that schedule, I’ll have three mornings a week to myself.

Lectionary Leanings – Glimmer of Light

January 4
Isaiah 60:1-6, Psalm 72, Ephesians 1:3-14, Matthew 2:2-12

While our church year technically begins with the Advent season, Epiphany has always struck me as a time of new beginnings and fresh starts. Perhaps this is in part because of its close proximity to the New Year in the Gregorian calendar. But liturgically, Epiphany has the feeling of a beginning of a journey. A star had risen in the sky and a band of men from the east began an unknown voyage to discover its source. They probably had no idea how long it would take them to get there. They didn’t know what friends or foes they would meet along the way. In reality, they didn’t even know who they were looking for. They set out anyways.

In many ways, our journey of Christian faith is like that of the wise men. In each of our lives, there has been a moment, however small, however insignificant, that has led us to begin this journey. It may have been words of a Sunday school teacher that first caused you to follow Christ for yourself, like the faint glimmer of a falling star. Or perhaps it was a dramatic moment of hitting rock-bottom and having no where to turn but to Christ, like the glimmer of light calling out from behind an eclipse. Perhaps the call to follow has always been there in your life, from the very earliest memory, much like the multitude of stars in the night sky. We may not be able to name the moment or recite the date and time, but at some point in our lives, we began to take steps toward Christ.

Inevitably, there are times in our lives where we have strayed from that path, when we have let the cares of the world or the demands of family or job lead us in other directions. But just like the New Year brings with it a time for making resolutions, the season of Epiphany is a reminder of who we have promised to follow. In the words of Isaiah, “Arise, shine; for your light has come!” The path is still there, the light of Christ still beckons, and now is as good a time as any to begin the journey again.

things i have learned in my first week as a minister

in no particular order:

1) no one notices if you skip the Lord’s Prayer during communion – it was printed in the bulletin… it should have been in my script… but since I switched to a special Epiphany litany, the one with just the great thanksgiving and not the whole shebang, I totally missed it. But… no one seemed to notice, or at least no one said anything.

2) sometimes it’s better to just let someone talk than try to respond – during one of my pastoral conversations with a parishoner they became passionately angry about evolution being taught in the schools and then quoted genesis 1. I couldn’t figure out what to do next. Should I announce my theological differences? Should I point out that Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 tell differing stories and so it’s hard to take them both (or either) literally? Should I say something like “wow, you really seem angry about that… can you tell me why you feel that way?”… Since I couldn’t figure out what to say, I just listened. intently listened. And preceeded to find out that this really kind and sweet old man (and he really was!) was so angry about evolution being taught that he swore he would go after anyone who tried to teach his kids about evolution with a shotgun! While this probably isn’t true, I felt like if I had opened my mouth I would have been run out of town. I think our congregation is a really interesting mix of biblical literalists, fundamentalists (in the early 20th century understanding of the word), people who just want to understand what the text means, and others who could care less. And I desperately want to be honest and authentic about who I am and what I believe. But I’m glad that I just listened to him right then. He got the anger out of his system and we preceeded to discuss whether or not “Deal or No Deal” was gambling.

3) food will be provided at every gathering – YAY! food for bible study, food for youth group, food for sunday morning fellowship. I love being Methodist.

4) when i’m on the internet, no one can call the church office – an interesting consequence of previous pastors not keeping office hours is that the office doesn’t get used much. So they have dial-up and one phone line. But now that I have set office hours (M-Th 9-12), someone is there! And while I’m there, I’m likely to do things like correspond by email to other district and conference pastors, work on my sermon and the bulletin using textweek.com, begin working on a church website… all of which means, no incoming calls. I started to wonder why the phone wasn’t ringing. LUCKILY, no one desperately needed me and we figured this out before any damage has been done. (it’s not like anyone is expecting to get someone at the church… they haven’t for a while). I discussed upgrading to DSL so that we can talk and surf at the same time… it’s in the works.

5) homebound members LOVE IT when the pastor visits – I have been fairly nervous about visiting people. I’m not the most outgoing person in the world and my only experience so far has been making cold calls in a hospital. But there is a huge difference when you are now someone’s pastor and when they haven’t been visited for a long time. A congregation member came with me to begin making visits and it was so good to meet all of these wonderful people! They have so many stories to tell, so much life that they have seen. Each circumstance is different. Some are retired farmers who have moved into town. Others have lived in Marengo their whole lives. Some moved to Iowa later in life. All that I visited were widowers, but some for as few as 9 months and others for 35 years. Each desperately missed their spouses. I think that a significant ministry that our church can offer is ministry to these people. Evidently the church used to tape services for them, which can be done again. And we definately need to start a communion ministry. Maybe we can get some funding from somewhere to invest in a church bus… for quite a few of these people they either can’t drive or the weather keeps them away… all they need is a ride.

6) no matter how long they have been doing without, when the pastor arrives they are expected to lead – My first day in the office, before I even had set down my stuff, I was invited to join in the bible study happening in the next room. I accepted because I wanted to see what they were doing and introduce myself, etc. but EVERY TIME there was a pause or a question, I was supposed to have the answers. As the week has gone on, it hasn’t been quite as bad, but there is an expectation/hope that I’ll be the one who prays, who has the answer, that I’ll come join all the civic groups and participate in each of their outside bible studies. I think the part that is difficult for me is that I really value and want to embody a communal ethic of church leadership… one in which power is shared and we are all ministers in the Body of Christ. They really want a pastor. They really want a shepherd. This doesn’t mean that I want to shirk my responsibilities… it means that I want to help them fully claim theirs. And I think that it will take a little while before we get to that place. I have to admit, I’m tempted at times just to take things over and do them my way… but that’s not how I feel that God has called me to lead, nor do I believe that it embodies the ministry of Christ. So… while it may be slow going… together we will learn how to be the church.

7) croutons of christ just aren’t as full of grace as hawaiian sweet bread – This is for all of you Vanderbilt and West End people… I’m a big fan of intinction… the good old “rip and dip”… especially when you are feasting on a hunk of Hawaiian sweet bread. Yeah, I know Jesus was probably eating unleavened bread in the upper room, but a tender chunk of bread, with all of its texture and the smells… it just really conveys the fact that you are sharing part of a meal with one another. I grew fond of gathering at the table after the worship service was over to eat the communion “leftovers.” Things just are not the same when you have cubed, crustless white bread (especially when you have no loaf to break and when you take the cloth off the plate bread cubes stick to it and go flying off the table) Note to self: have a meeting with the communion committee.

first sermon…

I’ve been working on my sermon for days… it was supposed to be done yesterday at the latest, but here I am, on friday night, on my day off, working on my sermon. I don’t even have a proper desk in my office at home yet, so I’m sitting on the floor, laptop on my lap-top, typing away. Only I’m stuck and I get distracted.

In one of my bouts of more purposeful distraction I stumbled across a sermon another colleague has written for this sunday… and it makes me feel very inadequate. I feel as though he has said everything I wanted to say – only so much better. More poetic. I would love to read his sermon aloud. I’ve already begun thinking about how I would articulate and intone various passages…. and then I realize that I have my own sermon to finish. blast.

I’ve had a few adventures this week at the church. First youth group night. First visit with a congregation member (officially). So much to say and share about those experiences, but, alas, the sermon still sits there waiting to be finished.

Brandon is fairly frustrated by my procrastination. He has threatened that I don’t get dinner tonight until its finished. I really only have like 3-4 more paragraphs to write. But i’m here, typing, instead of there, typing. grr.

last sunday off

so, this weekend was my last one before starting as the pastor of my new church. I thought about forty times about whether I should go to church there, or take the morning off, or go somewhere else. In most cases, a pastoral move is made during the middle of the week and you start immediately, so this whole, waiting around for my job to start thing doesn’t happen.

I decided to wait and not go yet precisely for that reason… well, that and my family was in town and so we had Christmas again this weekend.

It is completely surreal to think that in just a day or two I will start my new vocation. I feel completely prepared and absolutely unprepared all at the same time. I have worship planned for the first two Sundays already – with the exception of the sermons, so that takes a little bit of the work load off. eek – which reminds me that I need to contact the organist and get her the music.

My mom tried to offer me a plate of goodies to take into work with me and share with other people. But I realized… I’m the only one working there! I’m not sure who, if anyone will be in and out of the church. I have set office hours for talking and counseling with people, so I’m sure I might see people then, but other than that – no clue. It might just be me in my little office. Which in many ways means that I need a community online to keep me sane once and a while =) I’m already making connections with a UMC pastors group in a nearby city, and hopefully will connect with the local ministers in the coming weeks. There is also a city administrator’s “coffee with the community” thing on Thursday morning that I’m planning on going to. As long as I keep my connections with other people strong, I should be fine and will probably cherish the time alone to think.

Right now, I’m planning on spending my afternoons at home working and/or visiting(except for the days when I have evening meetings, and then i’m taking the afternoon off). It will be a good time to work on my sermons, catch up on reading, etc. That way I really can focus the mornings on being there for whomever stops by and won’t feel as if my work has been interrupted.