Reproducing in the Church #NaBloPoMo

I was sitting at a conference with some friends and the speaker kept lifting up the decline in membership of the United Methodist Church.

One of the reasons cited was United Methodists were having less children than we used to.

And the four of us all stole a glance at one another.

The speaker was talking about us.

We represented three couples that were intentionally choosing not to have children.

 

Of course, making babies isn’t the only way to make new Christians.

And, even if we had babies, that doesn’t mean when they grew up they would choose to carry on our faith.

 

So what does “reproduction” really look like in the faith?

One of the first things I thought of was the “each one, reach one” campaign in my district about 10 years ago.

The idea was simple:  Every person should try to bring one person to church in the next year.  If everyone took the time to bring one friend or family member or neighbor to church, we would quickly double in size.

Which is essentially the process of mitosis.

download

We learn, grow, build our own faith, and then we pass it along to another person.

No, we don’t actually split ourselves in two, but the “each one, reach one” concept has the potential to multiply the church in the same way.

 

There is another important reproductive parallel here.

Because our role along the way, as we nurture someone into the faith, is to act like a spiritual midwife for them.

Midwives today are there to support during the entire pregnancy, but also provide care and advice months after a child is born.

And we can help guide someone into faith in the same way.

We can first make the invitation to church, but we have to be prepared to answer whatever questions they have in a non-judgmental way.

We need to not just invite them, but be there in a real and incarnational way: offering to pick them up, walk with them through the doors, sit next to them at whatever worship or church event or small group it is.

If we are taking ownership for truly nurturing someone into faith, then we can’t forget about them as soon as they have shown up once.  It’s a continual  process of support and encouragement.

As a pastor, I am actually probably more like a doctor who is called into provide medical assistance when necessary. Most of the work of bringing someone to the faith is done by the lay people, the midwives, who actively support and care for people as they become Christians.

(and, parents, this is how you help nurture your babies, too)

 

In my own church, I’m watching as our confirmation students go through the process with a mentor.  And what I’m discovering is that the personalized attention really impacts their growth, and the mentors are growing, too.  They are building new relationships and becoming stronger and more confident in their walk with God.

What if every one of us took on the work of inviting and mentoring one person in the faith?

We’d become a completely different church.

 

Unimagineable…

I think in some ways, I’m still in shock. Or exhausted. or both.

At 2:45 on Monday afternoon, we announced that we had raised $2,009,907 for Imagine No Malaria as the Iowa Annual Conference. 

I had spent my lunch break sitting on the floor of the treasurer’s office counting the dollars that districts had raised by passing bags and hats and buckets that morning.  And as first one district exceeded a thousand dollars, and then another, and then pledges of a thousand dollars and more came rolling in, I knew we had done it.

I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face as I tried to casually stroll to the Diakanos area (our youth who serve as pages for conference).  I needed their help in updating our tally boards so we could reveal the new total to conference.

And even as we were recording that unbelievable number, the Iowa Foundation announced a $6,000 match of the afternoon’s donations.  They believed we still needed about $12,000 to go over the top and were willing to get us half way there.  And the East Central district announced over $1500 in pledges for our rider in the North Central Jurisdictional Ride for Change.  Even before we had made it official, our tally was inadequate. Our success was still growing. The gifts were unbelievable.  We couldn’t keep up with the outpouring of dollars and cents and checks and pledges. 

I strode up to the microphone… flipped on the yellow light… and imperceptibly shook as I shared the good news.

What that number represents to me is not simply money that was raised by folks in Iowa.  It represents all of the lives that will be saved because of the work of United Methodists.  It represents the churches that were transformed and started to think beyond their walls in this past year and a half.  It represents the youth who were given a voice and ran with a cause they knew was making a difference – whether it was with their feet on the pavement, on the ballfield, or by dyeing their hair.  It represents moms and dads in places I have never been like Sierra Leone and Angola and Nigeria who have hope their children will live.  It represents the effort of communities who have rallied together to educate one another and hold each other accountable. It is the pennies of children and the pocketbooks of millionaires.  It is diversity, and beauty, and joy, and sacrificial, and empowering, and far beyond anything I ever asked or imagined was possible.

I believed we could raise the money.

Don’t get me wrong.

I got involved in this whole wonderful mess in the first place because I knew that if every United Methodist in Iowa gave only $10, we would have raised nearly $1.8 million dollars.

It was weird for people to come up and congratulate me after the big announcement, because this was OUR success and not mine.  This was OUR effort and I simply had the honor of being the midwife.  The resources were there for this to be a successful campaign.  Of that, I had no doubt.

But I never imagined how it would transform the people of Iowa.  I have been blown away by the stories of individuals and communities which have been transformed by Imagine No Malaria in Africa.  And I never imagined how this whole experience would transform me.

Hopefully I’ll have time in the next few weeks to process some of what I have learned and some of how God has moved in my life. 

But for now, I simply say: God is Good.

image

competing goods and womens’ bodies…

Lately, womens’ bodies and health care and pregnancy and contraception and abortion and religious freedom and laws and the kitchen sink have been tossed around and talked about ad naseum.

My twitter feed blew up with critiques and praises of the Susan G. Komen Foundation.  My newsfeed from facebook was littered with comments about rights to health care and freedom of religion. Over breakfast, having coffee, in person, on the phone, the issues these questions raise are all around me.

And I guess why this is so exasperating for me, personally, is that I can’t figure out what to say and where to stand.  I see all sorts of different sides to these issues.  There are a thousand shades of grey to understand in the conversations and multiple “goods” that unfortunately do not play well together. And so when I’m asked my opinion or what I think about it, it would probably take three hours just to lay out all of the pieces of the puzzle… and that doesn’t include any time spent trying to actually give an answer.

Most often, however, the arguments are boiled down to two positions.

On the one side – let’s just call it what it is – the left side – the argument comes from a question of whether or not people have access to resources they need to care for their bodies, make informed decisions, and lead autonomous lives. It is about rights and conscience.

On the other side – the right side – the argument begins with the beliefs/traditions/morals that institutions hold about our bodies.  It is also about rights and conscience.

You could start trying to pick a side by asking yourself -well, which is more important?  An individual’s rights? or an institution’s beliefs?

But then that leads to questions about what happens when one individuals conscience leads them to harm another? What happens when an institution’s conscience leads them to harm another institution? or an individual? or a group of individuals? Who/what is more valued? Which institution gets the say? The government? A church? Are any particular persons more “persons” than others?

(we aren’t even dealing with details, yet… just the big picture of rights)

Take the issue of birth control and the mandate (or whatever it is) that all institutions will have to provide contraceptive coverage to their employees through their health care.  It doesn’t apply to churches, but it would to educational institutions, hospitals, etc. that are religiously affiliated.  Which puts the issue of institutional vs. individual right smack dab in the center of the debate for an institution like the Roman Catholic Church that does not see contraceptives as a moral good.  It prevents life, therefore they are against it. I can completely understand and respect an institution’s beliefs and values and want them to have the freedom to stand by them.  But I would also like for the many Catholics who actually use birth control pill to have the ability to have it affordably.  I would like for the teenagers covered by their parents insurance who use birth control pills to mitigate acne to get it for a good price.  I would like the women who suffer with long and painful periods to be able to make a choice and have it covered by their employeers insurance if they need to use the birth control pill or IUD or other method to help regulate their cycles.  I recently read that over 50% of the women who use the birth control pill do so for a reason besides pregnancy prevention.  That number absolutely floored me.

As I heard on NPR this afternoon – if it is an argument about religious freedom… the bishops win.  If it is an argument about accessibility of contraceptives for individuals… then the administration wins. I want both institutions and individuals to have the freedom to make informed decisions and to stand by their convictions.  But in these particular issues, we just can’t have it both ways. So which is more important?  Religious freedom? or access to health care? Pressed to make a choice, I take the fifth.

I think I struggle also with the issue of abortion because it is not clearly a black/white issue… as much as people try to frame it that way.

The official United Methodist position regarding the issue can be found in The Book of Discipline:

The beginning of life and the ending of life are the God-given boundaries of human existence. While individuals have always had some degree of control over when they would die, they now have the awesome power to determine when and even whether new individuals will be born.

Our belief in the sanctity of unborn human life makes us reluctant to approve abortion. But we are equally bound to respect the sacredness of the life and well-being of the mother, for whom devastating damage may result from an unacceptable pregnancy. In continuity with past Christian teaching, we recognize tragic conflicts of life with life that may justify abortion, and in such cases we support the legal option of abortion under proper medical procedures. We cannot affirm abortion as an acceptable means of birth control, and we unconditionally reject it as a means of gender selection.

We oppose the use of late-term abortion known as dilation and extraction (partial-birth abortion) and call for the end of this practice except when the physical life of the mother is in danger and no other medical procedure is available, or in the case of severe fetal anomalies incompatible with life. We call all Christians to a searching and prayerful inquiry into the sorts of conditions that may warrant abortion. We commit our Church to continue to provide nurturing ministries to those who terminate a pregnancy, to those in the midst of a crisis pregnancy, and to those who give birth. We particularly encourage the Church, the government, and social service agencies to support and facilitate the option of adoption. (See ¶ 161.K.)

Governmental laws and regulations do not provide all the guidance required by the informed Christian conscience. Therefore, a decision concerning abortion should be made only after thoughtful and prayerful consideration by the parties involved, with medical, pastoral, and other appropriate counsel.

From The Book of Discipline of The United Methodist Church – 2004. Copyright 2004 by The United Methodist Publishing House. Used by permission.

I appreciate the nuance that our position holds.  I believe it tries to hold up the goods of not only life, but also the good of family, responsible parenting, a woman’s body.  It also leads us into prayer about “the sorts of conditions that may warrant abortion.”

One of my most memorable experiences in seminary was attending the Cal Turner Center for Moral Ethics retreat.  Graduate students from five different fields were brought together to discuss issues that we all will face in our career fields.  I was surrounded by students from the law, business, medical and nursing school – along with my colleagues from the divinity school.  The presenter that really helped me to understand the “gray” area of the abortion question was Dr. Frank Boehm, who had written a book called, “Doctors Cry, Too.”  He talked about his experiences in the emergency room treating young women who had either tried to perform abortive measures on themselves or had recieved “back-alley” abortions.  They found themselves in the E.R. with deadly infections, rips and tears, and irreparable damage. Some died.  He struggled with his convictions about life and the pragmatic reality that safe and legal ways of terminating a pregnancy were needed or these women would continue to use whatever means necessary.  His story has caused me to truly not have an answer when asked if I am pro-life or pro-choice.  I both want to uphold the sanctity of life and want those who see no other options to have safe and legal options available to them.  I also firmly seek to provide options and resources and hope to those who find themselves in those positions.

The UMC position also tries to bring some nuance to the very term “abortion.” We make a distinction between the stages at which procedures are performed. But mentioned here in this piece is no mention of the “morning-after pill.”   Some who are pro-life today would oppose use of the morning-after pill because it would prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg.  And yet, most morning-after pills are merely strong doses of the same ingredients found in other contraceptives. In reality, many contraceptives are effective in part because of this reason.  At the same time there is national conversation about mandating the coverage of contraceptives in health care, states like Mississippi have proposed legislation that take the definition of abortion to extremes that could potentially make said contraceptives illegal. That measure was NOT passed thanks to 58% of the voters of the state rejecting the measure. We have to have these conversations because even if and when we agree that protecting life is good, we don’t agree about what life is and when it begins.  Fertilization? Implantation? when an embryo becomes a fetus? According to some places in the Old Testament, life was determined by the breath.  We have talked about life ceasing with heart beats, so does it also begin with them? What about brain waves? It is a complicated and difficult conversation with no easy answers.

In all of these questions, there are goods that we are trying to achieve.  Goods like health, life, equality, choice, accessibility, convictions, morality, community, and accountability. And unfortunately, sometimes those goods compete and we have to choose between them.  And sometimes our decisions are merely choices between evils rather than goods. I see so many different sides and truly faithful and good people coming from all different perspectives.  My number one hope is that we might have these conversations with civility, respect, and a willingness to listen to the heart and experience of another person.

I just wish that these debates weren’t always about women’s bodies.  It is frustrating that we live in a world in which so many of these complicated issues have to do with what women can and cannot do with their bodies and have so little to do with the physical bodies of adult men.  I sometimes wonder if the conversations would be different.

born this way

A good friend helped me to find a post by Brian Kirk called “Lady Gaga, Lent, Teens, and Original Sin.” It is a good read, but there are a few tweaks that I might have made to his argument.

In his article, Kirk shows how Lady Gaga’s latest song “Born This Way,” helps teenagers to claim their own place, their identity, in a world that sometimes tells them they have no value.  He connects this message with the Jesus that loves the unloveable and who reaches out to those others have deemed unworthy.

Kirk also spends a bit of time thinking about the counter for this argument, “what about sin?” Kirk responds by talking about while Lent has traditionally been a time in which we confess all that is wrong with us and look to Jesus for salvation, there are some that don’t hold that to be true.  He writes:

For those of us who do not literalize the story of Adam and Eve, there is no need to literalize the Christian interpretation of Genesis in which humankind fell from a perfect creation into an imperfect one and thus had to wait, mired in sin, until a savior could come and pay our ransom. This theological perspective that sees all persons as born into sin is not persuasive for those Christians who acknowledge that we now live on this side of Darwin.

I read Kirk’s response as: “what sin?”

I may not read the story of Adam and Eve literally, but I do recognize that this world we are born into is far from perfect.  The institutions we inhabit are tinged with sin.  The choices we make from the very beginning lead us into temptation.  While I might not ever consider an infant to be riddled with original sin that taints their very existence, sin is an ever present reality that surrounds us.  If there were no sin, there would be no violence, no war, no destruction, no oppression, no bullying, no shame, no guilt, no hate…
We each have a personal role and responsibility in the systems of sin that surround us.  From the things we purchase, to the food we eat, to the ways we treat one another, we participate in sin.  Sometimes that sin is a conscious rebellion and turning away from God and neighbor… other times it is subtle, hidden, and ignorant.
No matter how much we might ignore sin, it has consequences in our lives.  When we act recklessly, we hurt people. When we ignore the cries of the needy, they suffer.  When we waste and pollute, our environment is damaged.  The cup of coffee I purchased this morning has implications and consequences from people I have never met and will never see. The length of time I spend in the shower this morning has financial, social, environmental implications.  Sin is real. Consequences are real.  We were born this way, too.
The song calls us to remember:

I’m beautiful in my way
‘Cause God makes no mistakes
I’m on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don’t hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you’re set
I’m on the right track baby
I was born this way

The real question is how we hold these two things together.

How do hold together the fact that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14) with the reality that we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23)?

I recently began reading N.T. Wright’s After You Believe: Why Christian Character Matters. He talks about the process of developing virtue in our lives by the thousands of choices and decisions we make in our lifetimes. In the process of doing so, he talks not only about following the rules, but also following our hearts.
This is the same divide that I see between these passages in Psalms and Romans.  If I am wonderfully made, if God loves me, then I can do what I want and follow my heart.  But if I am sinful, then I need rules to tell me right from wrong and to save me.
Wright reminds us we need both.  We need to form our character through the “rules” and to hold one another accountable to what is good.  But we also need to let who we have been created to be shine through… not the “me” that does whatever the hell I want, but the “me” God intends me to be – loving, compassionate, serving one another, humble.  The reality is, that “me” is inside of us.  We were born to perfectly love God and serve our neighbors.  God didn’t make any mistakes in doing this.  But we get off track. We let the world tell us who we should be, instead of our creator.  We turn our backs on that reality.  We sin. Christ takes all of those missteps, all of the sin inherent in our structures, the reality of evil, death, destruction, greed, power… he takes it ALL onto the cross, he dies, and he takes it all down with him.  In Christ, we are finally free from all that which holds us back, from all that prevents us from being who we were truly created to be.
Kirk gets so caught up in sacrifical atonement that he forgets there are other metaphors for the work of Christ on the cross.  Christ liberates our true selves from all that prevents us from being Godly.  Christ shows us how we were supposed to live our lives, according to Abelard.  Jesus is also the Cosmic Christ who transforms all of creation.
This time of Lent reminds me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and that I have fallen short of the glory of God that lives inside of me.  It challenges me to claim the work of Christ in my life and to be better, to grow, to allow God’s grace to continue to transform me.
Lady Gaga’s lyrics say: I was born this way hey! I’m on the right track baby.
Maybe we should take that as a question.  Who were you born to be?  And are you on the right track?  Are you living the way God intended?  And if not, how do you get back there?
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  No matter how it is that you were made – black, white, outcast, bullied, gay, straight, male, female, rich, poor – you were fearfully and wonderfully made.  Are you on the right track?

FF: Ritual

From Rev Gals: I believe that we live in a ritually impoverished culture, where
we have few reasons for real celebration, and marking the passages of life.
So…

1. Are ritual markings of birth marriage and death important to you?

Absolutely! They are how we make meaning out of these very difficult and beautiful transitions in our lifes. Even when we think that we are bypassing rituals, we are usually creating our own practices for coping and celebrating what has happened. Even something as simple as placing your baby into the crib for the first time is filled with significance and meaning and how you do it that first time will shape how you do it from then on. As a pastor, I see my role as to speak to where and how God is present in the rituals that I help a family perform.

2. Share a favourite liturgy/ practice.

In my wedding ceremony, we wanted to acknowledge that we had already been on a long journey together. We got married on our seven and a half year anniversary. So this was one more step in a relationship that we committed to long ago. I found this piece of liturgy and we used it at the beginning of the service:

President: We have come together in the presence of God to witness the marriage of Brandon and Katie, to celebrate their love for each other, and to ask God’s blessing upon them.

2nd Voice: Through the ages, people on great journeys have stopped at important places, and at decisive moments, to build cairns at the roadside – to make the spot, to measure progress, and to leave reminders of their arrivals and leavings to which they and others can always return.

3rd Voice: Katie and Brandon’s relationship is a great journey that, in different ways, we have traveled and will continue to travel with them. Nothing will ever be the same: for Brandon and Katie; for us who know them; or for the community in which they will live and move. They are to be married.

President: God’s Word reveals to us that the very nature of God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit, along with all human experience, for we are made in the image of God, is to be understood as relationship. In the great stories of God’s people and in the coming of Jesus we are shown how God binds himself to us, in a relationship that we can only call love. Jesus himself gave us a new commandment, “that you love one another as I have loved you.”

2nd Voice: We grow through relationships, for they give human life its purpose and direction. This is why we reach out to others. Our live consists not only in being but in becoming. Loving relationships are always on the move. They cannot stand still. They are a journey.

3rd Voice: Let us mark this decisive moment in Katie and Brandon’s journey now, adding to the cairn the stones of our love, our support and our prayers for them as they make their promises.

President: Creating and Redeeming God,
It is your love which draws us together.
Through the love which we have for one another,
May we also grow in love for you.
Walking with Christ as our companion on the way,
May we come to share the joy
Which you have prepared for all who love you;
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
[New Zealand, p. 802, adapted]

The two other voices besides our pastor were members of each of our families. The only thing that I wish we had done that we didn’t have the foresight to think about was to actually have family members bring a stone and to build a cairn… then we could have taken those stones with us to our new home.

3. If you could invent ( or have invented) a ritual what is it for?

wow, I guess see above! Something else that we kind of invented was at my grandpa’s funeral. He was a farmer and was always outside in the fields or in his gardens. He died in October and we couldn’t not make the fall harvest part of his funeral. We brought it tall stalks of corn from the field and placed it around the casket. And each of the grandchildren picked a pumpkin and we placed them at the base of the casket – one for each of us. We also had a number of significant others among us grandchildren – three of us were engaged… and the “SO’s” picked out squashes to represent themselves. We created meaning and remembrance out of that moment… we still call our “so’s” squashes. And everytime we do so, we remember Deda’s funeral.

4. What do you think of making connections with neo-pagan / ancient festivals? Have you done this and how?

I haven’t really thought to do it explicitly, but I’m also very aware that Easter and Christmas fall when they do, in large part because of pagan/ancient festivals.

I think that there is a very fine line to balance when incorporating those traditions and rituals into your life. You don’t want to impose your own values on beliefs on something you don’t completely understand and in doing so possibly undo the meaning of the original ritual. There was an awful lot of imperialism and conquest involved in our original appropriation of some rituals.

But at the same time, we always bring to any rituals we encounter our own meaning. We adapt the rituals we encounter to fit our lives and our circumstances. And so if we encounter a new ritual, I think the best thing is to learn as much as you can about it and practice it with (if you feel that is appropriate and not denying the God you follow) others who know it well, and then make it your own.

5. Celebrating is important, what and where would your ideal celebration be?

In my back yard with good friends and family… with a roaring fire =) Conversation, laughter, music, some wine and some good food off of the grill.