facebook – Salvaged Faith

Sanctuary

Posted on December 19, 2021Leave a comment

Text: Micah 5:2-5a, Luke 1:39-56

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A post shared by Katie Z. Dawson (@katismcgee)

I have a kind of strange question to ask…

Does this dress look familiar to you?

How many of you have noticed or realized that I have worn it every Sunday for the last eight weeks?

How many of you have noticed that I have worn this dress… I mean, this exact garment, not one like it, for every day for the last sixty-two days?

I had seen advertisements for this Wool& dress for ages, advertising this magical wool garment that stretches and doesn’t smell and that you don’t have to wash every day. Something that keeps you cool when you are hot and warm when you are chilled.

A friend did the challenge. Then another. And so I thought – why not.

I needed a new black dress and something that was well constructed and would last me for a while and could be a sustainable addition to my wardrobe made sense.

So here I am… day sixty-two.

Why on earth am I talking about a dress on the fourth Sunday of Advent?

Because we all need to have a safe place to run and share and feel safe when the world around us is falling apart.

Our scripture for this morning tells the story of how an unwed, pregnant teenager ran away from home – and ran straight to the arms and household of her relative, Elizabeth.

Many of us have heard this story before.

A relative who went off to live somewhere else for a while – to hide from a secret shame, to get clean, to take responsibility for mistakes.

We have stories that have been passed down in hushed tones about the family that took them in while they got their lives back together.

But we also know there are times in all of our lives when we have a struggle that we aren’t quite sure how to share or speak aloud.

And so you seek the sanctuary of a close friend – someone you can be honest with. Someone who will believe you. Someone who will be on your side.

When I started this silly challenge of wearing this dress for 100 days, I joined a facebook group dedicated to the task. I was anticipating getting ideas for how to style with items already in my closet, advice for cleaning… that kind of thing.

What I didn’t expect is that this group would be a place of sanctuary for so many.

Women talking about difficulties in relationships.

Sharing stories of health crises or tremendous loss.

Wrestling with insecurities about how they look and past emotional abuse.

We all need a place to turn when things are rough…

When we are unsure of what to do or who will love and accept us…

And this facebook group about a dress has become a place of sanctuary for so many.

The responses are full of love and encouragement and grace and support.

Ya’ll… it feels like church.

Our text from the Hebrew scriptures talks about a ruler who will be born in Bethlehem.

It is an insignificant and unlikely place… but he will be our shepherd.

He will help us find safety and peace and security and love.

And as Christians, we believe that one that was promised was the Messiah, Jesus.

But he was born to an insignificant and unlikely person… a young woman, pregnant and unmarried, vulnerable.

Mary is open and willing and ready to be God’s vessel… but also, she must have been terrified.

How could you explain such a miracle? How would others have responded?

Would there have been stares, questions, disbelief?

Despite her faith and her courage, was it simply too much?

She turns to the only person she thinks can understand… her cousin, Elizabeth, who is having her own miraculous pregnancy.

I have preached on the visitation of Mary to Elizabeth countless times in my ministry.

But I don’t think that I have ever focused on what it meant for these two to find one another in this moment.

Charles Campbell captures it well:

“The scene is absurd… A baby leaps in the womb. Blessings are shared. Astonishment is expressed. Songs are sung. By two pregnant women… It is fleshy, embodied, earthy, appropriate as a forerunner to the incarnation… In the women’s actions, the world is indeed turned upside down. Hierarchies are subverted. The mighty are brought low. Two marginalized, pregnant women carry the future and proclaim the Messiah.”
(Feasting on the Word, Year C, Volume 1, p 95)

In this place of sanctuary and safety, the two women offer support.

They share the joys and the triumphs and the stress and the difficulty.

And they proclaim and shout and sing about how God is turning the world upside down.

We’ve talked a lot over the last several weeks about home.

About God making a home among us… about the kin-dom taking root right here in this world.

And the truth is, if we really let it, it changes everything.

God is initiating a world of love and grace and mercy and welcome.

God is calling us to repent of the ways we have shut one another out and turned one another away.

To let go of our tendencies to shame or harass or judge.

To embrace a life of humility and freedom and mercy.

And while Mary’s song talks about rulers being toppled from their thrones, we are called to live these promises out with actions that are much simpler.

Who will you welcome today?

How can you offer sanctuary for someone who is unsure about their future?

What do you need to do to show grace to someone you love?

Where is God calling you to be a shepherd for others?

That’s what church is all about, after all, isn’t it?

It is about sanctuary.

It is about forgiveness.

It is about community.

It is offering hope and love and support and prayers.

It is a pocket of the kin-dom of God right here on earth as we let the love of Christ transform how we treat one another.

It might be a facebook group about a dress…

Or it might be at the dinner table when your kid comes out…

Or it might be how you respond to the co-worker you disagree with…

Or it might be reaching out to a complete stranger in the check-out line with a smile of encouragement…

But we are called to love our neighbors.

To love with open arms and humility and compassion.

May we be sanctuary for all who seek it.

May we carry that kind of love with us… may we carry church with us… wherever we go.

Face-to-Face

Posted on December 9, 2015Leave a comment

There is a struggle and a tension I have with facebook.

If I am going to be honest, it is one of my primary sources of news.

It’s a place I get information and get informed and pass along the world to others.

And so sometimes, I use it as a vehicle for naming realities and lifting up my concerns about what is happening in the world.

But I’m no longer sure if I can/should use it in that way, and here is why…

We tend to only listen for what we want to hear and our facebook newsfeeds can be an echo chamber of similar beliefs.

We tend to throw out quick comments to provoke or inspire or joke, but we never actually have a conversation.

We tend to entrench ourselves only further into our own realities.

We tend to not actually do anything after we click “post”.

This morning, I listened to a sermon by Magrey deVega (which I found on Facebook) about whether or not there is room to restore ourselves from fear. He names the conflict, persecution, and very understandable fear of the Thessalonian community and then lifts up that Paul’s deep desire and longing for these people who were overcome by fear was to “see you face to face.” He couldn’t bear being apart from them in the midst of their struggle. He wanted to look them in the eyes and reassure them, comfort them, encourage them to hold fast, to keep going, to trust in God’s promises.

We can post things on facebook all day long about the things that trouble us, but we are just adding fuel to the fires of division, or preaching to the choir, or feeling like we are doing something when in fact we are not.

When we do so, we are in essence, standing on the street corner with a megaphone, trying to convince someone long enough to stay and listen.

I don’t think I can change a person’s mind through a facebook post.

I’m pretty sure I can’t change public policy through a facebook post.

I *might* be able to educate via a facebook post, but the reality is that there is counter-information out there for just about every single topic we might imagine and so if you don’t start from the same position as I do, it’s not helpful.

And half the time, the stuff we share uses headlines that are intended to incite or skew and another half of the time, no one actually reads the article and starts posting their own opinion anyways without taking the time for a reasoned conversation.

If we ever want to have a truly transformative conversation where we let the Holy Spirit move and lead us in forward together in spite of our differences, it is going to have to be a face to face conversation among equals.

If we want to overcome our fears, we are going to have to sit down face to face with the person we disagree with.

If we want to express a viewpoint and have a reasonable dialogue, it is going to go so much better face to face.

I thought for about half a second about just not going on facebook, but the truth is, I have a deep community of accountability, support and encouragement there. It is the best place to crowd source information about ministry that I have found. It is a place for networking and encouragement. It is a place where I go to let go of steam and complain when the copy machine isn’t working. I find pastoral care opportunities I would never hear of otherwise all over my newsfeed. I find solidarity and hope and wisdom and blessing all over the place on facebook.

Here’s what I’m going to try.

I can’t stop caring about the issues I care about.

So, instead of posting or sharing some random article or thought, I’m going to share an invitation to have a face-to-face conversation about the topic with any who might be interested.

Or, I’m going to post about what I’m actually committed to doing in regards to that issue… along with an invitation to physically join me or personally talk with me about the action.

But, I’m not going to just share something to stir the pot or even to educate/advocate, because it simply isn’t effective and it stresses me out.

It’s not the new year, yet, but that is my resolution.

paying attention

Posted on June 25, 2015Leave a comment

Today, in my devotional reading this thought from The Spiritual Life struck me:

To be human is to pray… prayer is the disciplined dedication to paying attention.

As I sit here and try to write this morning, I must admit I am distracted.

Distracted by the remnants of water in our basement (our backup sump pump failed to switch on, leaving some standing water in the unfinished areas).

Distracted by the squirrels and birds fighting with one another on the fence.

Distracted by the pings from Facebook because I left the tab open in my browser.

Distracted by the waiting and anticipation for a SCOTUS decision.

Distracted by the garbage trucks making their way up and down the streets in my neighborhood.

What if instead of being distracted, I focused on paying attention in prayer.

Gracious God, be with my husband and I and help us to be patient and wise as we clean up the water and as he fixes the pump.

Holy One, thank you for the creatures of this world who play and bring joy to our lives.

Blessed Redeemer, be with my friends and family and acquaintances. Help them to know your grace and mercy. Be with them in their struggles.

God of Grace, you teach us that love is patient and kind. You teach us that love is sacrificial. You teach us that your love has no boundaries. Be with us today as so many of us wait and dream of a nation that recognizes the many kinds of love and families that bring joy and support and stability and hope and companionship to our lives.

Almighty Savior, be with those who serve us today. And help each of us to think carefully about the waste in our lives. Help us to treat this world and its possessions with respect. Help us be less wasteful with the precious gifts we have been given. Help us to focus more on relationships and less on things. Forgive us for our reckless use of resources others are dying without.

Westerhoff and Eusden write in The Spiritual life that “unless our identity is hid in God we will never know who we are or what we are to do.” It is when we pay attention, maybe especially to the things that distract us, that we discover God’s longing for our lives, we hear the still small voice calling us to a transformed life, and we see our neighbors through new lenses. Prayer is the foundation of our faith, the beginning of change, the roots of justice, and the core of our belief.

What I am learning as I give up social media for Lent…

Posted on March 20, 2014Leave a comment

#1 – I seek praise, sympathy, solidarity through social media. The smallest, most insignificant thing could happen and my first instinct is to post it so that other people will comment and respond. It is attention-seeking behavior that often slips into a self-centered focus. Having to constantly fight the urge to post has led me to wonder what I’m getting out of those posts… and what others are as well. Sometimes, it is an authentic search for community and others to share the journey with. Sometimes it is race to see who has the biggest sob story or frustration of the day. These past weeks have reminded me of my insignificance. No one really cares what I had for breakfast or about a stubbed toe or that I shared an article. I’m just not that important. And I shouldn’t be.

#2 – Most of my news comes from social media. When I hear of breaking news, I search for the topic on twitter instead of turning on the television. The variety of sources, the mix of images, video, stories, personal reflections, global perspectives is amazing. I just don’t get the same depth of information watching one news channel go on for hours at a time about a single event, and when you flip stations between the networks, the information is often similiar with only slight colors of perspective. As Ukraine and Russian and the Malaysian flight disappearance have made headlines, I have largely been out of the loop of what is happening in the world.

#3 – Many of my conversations with close, personal friends, happen on Facebook. While texting is part of my communications toolbox, I rarely call or email these individuals. I never realized how much I rely upon Facebook groups for keeping in touch with a circle of friends – whether they are colleagues or my girlfriends. I had to write a clause into my lenten discipline that allowed me to continue using the Messenger part of Facebook (which meant I had to download the app), because I realized I would be completely out of the loop on conversations about health, upcoming events, and personal struggles. Not being on facebook and able to follow posts on group pages has left me feeling fairly isolated from those I am most connected with.

#4 – I pray a lot through Facebook. Whether they are shared prayer concerns among colleagues or simply reading the everyday struggle and hopes of friends, family, and colleagues, I am frequently moved to pray as I interact with posts and snoop on people’s lives. Not having that source of prayer material at my fingertips, however, has led me to pay attention a bit more to the people around me… the guy sitting on the park bench, the people in line. I find myself wondering what their story is, what they hope for… I haven’t worked up the courage to ask yet, however. I’m not sure if I’ve always been an “overhearer” of people’s lives or if this is something that a social media culture has developed in me and others around me. And sometimes I wonder if that extension of ourselves into the public space is good or not. I hesitate to lift up a prayer out loud on the bus, but I don’t when I’m commenting on a friend of an acquaintances post. It’s something to ponder.

#5 – I enjoy watching sports with social media. I enjoy the quick stats and the commentary that is often far better than what is on the television. I like the sense of solidarity in amazing plays and in bad calls. Yet, with the Iowa Hawkeyes basketball team being told to stay off of twitter because of the criticisms, I also recognize how brutal it gets out there. The things we yell at the television in the quiet of our own homes now are the things we post online in public in the heat of the moment, without tempering our emotions and remembering it is, after all, just a game.

#6 – I’m following the practice of celebrating Sundays as “little Easters” and not fasting from social media on those days. In the past two weeks, I’ve largely used those days to dump pictures and a quick narrative of the highlights of my week, as well as to quickly skim my group pages, catch up where I can with friends, and have left very few comments. I might have spent a total of 2 hours on facebook between those two days. The time I spend in my typical week on social media must be astounding. I’m sure there is an app somewhere to monitor it, but I’m afraid to look.

#7 – I use Facebook and social media equally for work and for personal matters. Conversations with friends and co-workers happen simultaneously. I’m more aware of that fact as I try to occasionally use it for work-related items (like updating our facebook page for Imagine No Malaria), but the distinction is so blurred that I have tried to avoid it or batch post. I think it would be worth it to do some hard work of creating new lists on facebook to better discriminate what I post and to whom so I could use it for both in a better way.

#8 – this is NOT going to be a permanent fast.

self-haters no more

Posted on November 26, 2011Leave a comment

I am now in the habit of stalking my youth group members on facebook… not to see what kinds of mischeif they are into… but to remind them that they are amazing children of God.

I have often commented on the lack of respect among some of the youth in our community these days… but I have realized that it extends to (or maybe is rooted in) self-respect. Kids in this town just don’t believe in themselves. Or rather, they believe the hurtful and negative things that come out of their classmates’ and family members’ and “friends” mouths more than they will believe what is inside themselves.
These young men and women are smart. They are creative. They are quick to defend someone who is down. They are excellent athletes. And they don’t believe that they are worth anything. They spend too many hours a day getting yelled at or picked on or teased or putting other people down and puffing themselves up so that they WON’T have those things happen to them.

They really just need someone to remind them that they are loved.

That THEY matter.

That they are beautiful – inside and out.

That they have a whole lifetime of possibility in front of them.

That this particular guy or situation or game or mistake will not haunt them forever.

My top goal in youth ministry this next year is to respond to every self put-down I hear/see/read. I’m not going to let them get away with it. The world tears us down too much to tear our own selves down.

And even if they won’t believe that they have anything to offer… I can remind them over and over again that that is okay, too. That God takes us how we are and makes us amazing. That even nobodies can be vessels for God’s glory and power. In fact… being a nobody, being a misfit, being an outcast makes you perfectly suited for the work of the Holy Spirit. And that our Lord and Savior can take all of our pain and shame and anger and frustration and can hold it for us… can set us free and can help us really live.

Life is too short to belittle the love and the grace and the power of God that rests inside of me. too beautiful to ignore all of my special gifts and quirks and talents. I am a unique and wonderful creation, precious in his eyes. And each one of my youth are, too. I’m going to remind them of that…

Facebook parenting = 21st century coffee klatch

Posted on September 15, 2011Leave a comment

Whenever we went back to my grandma and grandpa’s house for holidays, the family gathered together in the living room and we told stories. Or rather, as the babe in the room I listened to stories, while my aunts and uncles and my mom told about the adventures and misadventures they found themselves in growing up.

Many times, their stories ended like this: “We thought we would get away with it, but by the time we got home, mom had already heard the news from her coffee klatch.”

Stay-at-home moms gathered together for coffee and swapped stories about parenting, shared news, offered encouragement, and yes, told their own stories. They shared when there was a problem. And all of your friends’ moms knew your business. They were out there looking out for you. Your mom did have eyes in the back of her head, and they belonged to Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Fields and Mrs. Rodgers down the street.

My parent’s generation grew up and when they became parents, both of them typically worked. My own family lived out in the country and there wasn’t a neighborhood so to speak of for us to run around in. Not that my mom would have time to be a part of a klatch anyways. The closest they got was the parents that hung out together on the sidelines of soccer games and t-ball games and football games. They became their own little community, but their interaction wasn’t on a daily basis and as children, we didn’t worry so much.

I am not a parent… and watching what kids in the world today deal with I’m not sure I want to be… but as I have watched over my youth and interacted with their parents, I have been intrigued by a new form of community parenting. Facebook.

As our preteens and teenagers explore the world and interact with eachother, facebook has become an intergenerational site. Moms and dads and grandparents are all online now in ever increasing frequency. And as our kids post about the dumb things they have done, they now get lectures from all sides. Even if they are not friends with their parents online, they are with other adults who look out for them and try to push them in positive directions.

I watched with great interest the other day as one youth recounted how he had crashed his moped. His mom posted something about being more careful and instantly she was backed up by three or four other parents who also were concerned and had their own advice to offer.

For parents who are at work during the day, but have access to the site through their cell phones or computers, Facebook is a way of keeping in touch with their kids wherever they may be. They daily talk with other parents. They stay up to date on what is happening all around them.

Social media sometimes is blamed for increasing depersonalization, but in this little small town, it just might be the coffee klatch of the 21st century.

facebook ministry

Posted on June 19, 2009Leave a comment

7) outreach and ministry through facebook (prayers in the aftermath of the shooting tragedy in our county).

Nearly two weeks ago, we had a tragic shooting near our community. I don’t need to go into details, but a young woman’s life was taken. There were very little official details at first, but everyone in the community had their own version of what might or might not have happened. I didn’t know anyone who was involved, and so while it was very close to me, it also seemed very remote.

Until I watched the news the next morning and saw a congregation member being interviewed. And it was as if I suddenly realized that even though I was not personally affected by this – people in my church were. People in my church knew those who were involved and were grieving the death of a friend. People in my church were shaken up by the fact that something like this had even happened.

I was still in my pj’s at the time, but I knew that as a church, the best response we can have is prayer. so I got dressed and headed over to the church.

Here is where I realized that we have no great means of getting the word out fast to people. We don’t have a calling tree. Most of our congregation doesn’t regularly use email or check our website. But I knew that some of the people affected were on facebook.

I recently created a page for our church on facebook. I thought it might be a good way of publicizing events for our youth who are on there. And so far it has worked very successfully. But some of these kid’s parents are also on facebook. So I created an event – a day long prayer vigil at the church for anyone and everyone who wanted to stop in.

And I called a few of the people that in 18 short hours I knew had been personally affected. I let them know that I was at the church and was available.

I don’t think we had anyone stop in and use the prayer space at all that day. BUT… simply because it was there, other conversations happened across facebook.

One of my members who saw the listing also posted it as her facebook status. And friends of hers in the community who have never been to our church were touched by the fact that we were doing this. One person even messaged me directly and said that she wanted to come and visit our church after that. Another person requested to add me as her facebook friend afterwards.

People go back and forth all the time about what kind of persona pastors should have on facebook and other social network media. I have always taken the stand that I need to a) be myself wherever I am, and b) that used in the right way – it can be a powerful tool. I do block some of my information/pictues/etc to my church group – mostly because there are kids included in that group that don’t necessarily need to see what my friends and I were up to in college. But for the most part – who I am is out there. And I have found it to be an incredible resource for ministry. I get to chat with parents about their kid’s baseball games. I can give students encouragement before a concert. I am making connections with people that sneak out of worship before I really have a chance to talk with them on Sunday mornings… or who come to worship only occasionally. In many ways – I’m meeting those congregation members where they are… but I’m also connecting with their friends and colleagues in a way that would not have been available to me before. And that is pretty amazing.

I have a pretty idealistic view of the world. I look for the best in things before I look for their faults – but I also know that everything has its pros and its cons. The best we can do is navigate the waters as best we can, and (I think this this is my new motto) take one step beyond caution when the Spirit nudges.

omniscient

Posted on August 2, 2008Leave a comment

At a meeting, it hit me how facebook changed our world, when we knew where others had been & been doing fromstatus updates. Good or bad? Discuss.