family – Page 8 – Salvaged Faith

Carnival Mirrors

Posted on September 25, 2011Leave a comment

Two summers ago, our family was on vacation at Lake Okaboji in northwest Iowa. We had this tiny little house rented and with six adults and two kids and a baby, we needed to be out and about as much as we could!

One of the days we were there, we went to Arnold’s Park – this lovely little amusement park right on the shores of the lake. As we walked into the main area of the park, we climbed through a tilted house. I remember being inside buildings like this as a child, but something about walking crooked with the ceilings shrinking above you feels very odd and disconcerting as an adult!

And then, the first thing we found inside of the park was the house of mirrors.

My niece grabbed my hand and dragged me to the entrance. As we stood in front of the skinny mirrors and the fat mirrors and the wavy mirrors, she giggled and pointed as the images of each of us transformed into creatures we didn’t recognize. I had mile long legs one minute and a neck as tall as a giraffe the next. We laughed as we told stories about what it would be like to live lives with really tall tummies and itty bitty heads.

However, as an adult I have to admit, these mirrors are a lot less amusing. The distortion of these mirrors brings into greater focus small and insignificant parts of ourselves. They either expand them out of proportion or they reduce them to nothing. Our noses grow fat and wide. Our stomachs suddenly look thin. Or vice versa.

And in doing so – the truth of our bodies comes out. Our thighs might be a little larger than we would like. Our shoulders might be narrower than we assumed. That little gap between your teeth has a spotlight shown on it.

This morning, we are going to explore how Jesus helps us to see the truth in our distorted views of reality.

Charles Campbell is a preaching professor at Duke University and he tells this story about how Jesus would like to shake up our perceptions. Campbell was watching and interview on television with Dr. Phil, the famous tv psychologist. Dr. Phil was asked, “If you could interview anyone in the world, past or present, who would it be?” And immediately, he responded: “Jesus Christ. I would really like to interview Jesus Christ. I would like to have a conversation with him about the meaning of life.”

Well, Campbell was watching this on television and tells of the inner dialogue he was having at the moment. He wanted to shout out at the television and to Dr. Phil: “Oh no, you wouldn’t! You would not want to sit down with Jesus, treat him like an interviewee, and ask him about the meaning of life. You would be crazy to do that. He would turn you upside down and inside out. He would confound all your questions and probably end up telling you to sell everything you own, give the money to the poor, and come, follow me. No, Dr. Phil, you do not really want to interview Jesus, and I do not want to either. It would not go well.”

Jesus sounds like a nice and simple guy… a gentle soul… a friend to walk beside you and share your thoughts with… but in reality, Jesus turns our worlds upside down and inside out. He does the unexpected, he shows up in places we try to stay away from, he loves the unloveable, he calls the unworthy, and he brings us life through his death. And sometimes in doing so, he reveals the most difficult truths about our hearts.

His ways are not our ways – and as we walk with him, we have to be willing to let our distorted views of the world fall by the wayside so that we can see the reality of God’s love.

The main distortion that we encounter when we meet Christ is the false belief that we are good enough, that we have the answers, and that we fully understand God. This is the mirror that makes us look tall and big and fat and grand. It puffs us up, it fills us out, and we start to believe we are more important and more knowledgeable than we really are.

You see, this false understanding of faith, of religion, and of themselves is what got the priests and elders into so much trouble in our gospel reading this morning.

To put this story into context, Jesus had just come into Jerusalem the day before. The long list of things he accomplished that day included: riding into the city on a donkey and in righteous anger overturning the tables of the money changers in the temple. He was literally turning things upside down!

And so when he comes back to the temple the next morning, the religious leaders are in a grumpy mood. They want to know who this guy thinks he is and so they approach him and say very bluntly: Show us your credentials – Who authorized you to teach here?

Oh, those poor leaders. They had no idea what they were about to get themselves into. Jesus may have looked like a country bumpkin rabbi just in from the hills, but they were dealing with the Son of God. And when you ask Jesus questions… you never get the answers you expect.

Instead of giving them an answer – Jesus himself asked them a question. Jesus shed light on the true nature of their question.

Authority.

Who has it? And where does it come from?

These religious leaders had been trained. They had studied long and hard. They spent their days in the temple. They have the full weight of their culture and the institution behind them. They firmly believe that they speak for God.

And if they speak for God, then this man, this ruffian, this Jesus of Nazareth clearly does not. They want to keep things in good order, according to the traditions and the way things have always been.

But Jesus is ready to turn the world upside down.

And so he asks them a question in return: Was the baptism of John from God or from man?

He trapped them.

If they said John’s baptism was from God – then they were legitimizing his movement and in doing so, legitimizing Jesus who stood right before them.

But if they said that it was only from man – then they might have had a riot of the people on their hands… all around them were faithful people who had traveled out to the Jordan river to repent of their sins.

The distortion of their mirrors fell away. They came face to face with the truth. This Jesus did not fit in a box. Their privilege and power were more important to them than the right answer and so they responded simply – we don’t know… hoping it is the end of the story and they can return quickly to the way things were.

But Jesus doesn’t stop talking.

Instead, he tells them a story. The story of two children sent by their father into the vineyard to work. One of them refuses, but goes to work anyway later. One of them says they are going to, but never actually ends up working.

Everyone knows it was the first son who did the father’s will. No questions there.

But Jesus looks the priests and leaders straight in the eye and all false distortions fall away:

“ Yes, and I tell you that crooks and whores are going to preced you into God’s kingdom. John came to you showing the right road. You turned your noses at him, but the crooks and whores believed him. Even when you saw their changed lives, you didn’t care enough to change and believe him.” (The Message 32)

Photo by: Chris
(http://vivid-blog.blogspot.com/2009/05/fun-house-mirrors.html)

Staring into the funhouse mirror, these leaders thought they were being faithful by saying the right words and going through the right motions. But they were so busy looking at the faults of others that they never took the time to see themselves as they truly were. They never took the time to actually live out God’s will. They never stepped away from the mirror to see their own sin and to repent.

As Christians today, that is often our greatest failing. We get so wrapped up in being a part of the church, in wearing the name of Christian, in spouting off moral precepts, that we forget to look at ourselves.

When we let Jesus show us who we truly are… a hard and difficult process… may we have the courage to look away from the mirror and into the eyes of our Savior. May we have the courage to follow him.

But while we are talking about distortions, I think it is also important to look at the flip side of the distortion… the one that makes you look smaller than you really are. That shrinks your head and whittles your body away to nothing and makes you small like a child.

In the story of those two sons, there was the one who said he would obey his father but never did.

And then there is the story of the one who said he wouldn’t.

I always wonder about what makes him say no.

Did he have other things to do? Kids to take to soccer practice, maybe?

Was he planning on other less than noble deeds like going out and getting drunk with his friends?

Did he doubt his ability to actually perform the work?

Was he just being stubborn?

Whatever was going through the first son’s mind… he refused to do the will of his father.

Just as there are many of us who have been in the church from the beginning of our lives, there are many here this morning who took a long time to get here. We had other things to keep us busy, distractions, feelings of unworthiness, and the pride of wanting to do things our own way.

But our false images of ourselves can fall away too. Like the tax collectors and the prostitutes, we can turn around, repent, and say yes… even if we have spent our whole lives up to this point saying no. We can see our true selves, and then lay our lives at the feet of Jesus and follow him.

When we really engage with Jesus, our carnival mirror distortions come into focus. And every single time we find out that he has very little care for what our lives have been in the past but really wants to know if we are going to let go of those funhouse mirrors, take off our false perceptions and see his reality instead. Jesus does not want our distorted image of ourselves… Jesus was us. He wants us to believe in him and to follow him.

As Paul wrote in Philippians, Jesus laid aside his glory to become one of us. He humbled himself even to the point of death on the cross so that each one of us could see the truth – that Jesus is Lord and that he is our reality.

Everything that we do, everything that we have, everything that we are comes from God. That is the truth we find when we look him face to face. He turns our lives upside down and yet does not leave us on unsteady ground.

No, he invites us to join in the heavenly parade of the crooks and the prostitutes, the gamblers and the addicts, the self-righteous and the stubborn… Jesus invites us to take our place among all of those who have said goodbye to their old ways and are now marching joyfully toward heaven.

Amen and Amen.

Facebook parenting = 21st century coffee klatch

Posted on September 15, 2011Leave a comment

Whenever we went back to my grandma and grandpa’s house for holidays, the family gathered together in the living room and we told stories. Or rather, as the babe in the room I listened to stories, while my aunts and uncles and my mom told about the adventures and misadventures they found themselves in growing up.

Many times, their stories ended like this: “We thought we would get away with it, but by the time we got home, mom had already heard the news from her coffee klatch.”

Stay-at-home moms gathered together for coffee and swapped stories about parenting, shared news, offered encouragement, and yes, told their own stories. They shared when there was a problem. And all of your friends’ moms knew your business. They were out there looking out for you. Your mom did have eyes in the back of her head, and they belonged to Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Fields and Mrs. Rodgers down the street.

My parent’s generation grew up and when they became parents, both of them typically worked. My own family lived out in the country and there wasn’t a neighborhood so to speak of for us to run around in. Not that my mom would have time to be a part of a klatch anyways. The closest they got was the parents that hung out together on the sidelines of soccer games and t-ball games and football games. They became their own little community, but their interaction wasn’t on a daily basis and as children, we didn’t worry so much.

I am not a parent… and watching what kids in the world today deal with I’m not sure I want to be… but as I have watched over my youth and interacted with their parents, I have been intrigued by a new form of community parenting. Facebook.

As our preteens and teenagers explore the world and interact with eachother, facebook has become an intergenerational site. Moms and dads and grandparents are all online now in ever increasing frequency. And as our kids post about the dumb things they have done, they now get lectures from all sides. Even if they are not friends with their parents online, they are with other adults who look out for them and try to push them in positive directions.

I watched with great interest the other day as one youth recounted how he had crashed his moped. His mom posted something about being more careful and instantly she was backed up by three or four other parents who also were concerned and had their own advice to offer.

For parents who are at work during the day, but have access to the site through their cell phones or computers, Facebook is a way of keeping in touch with their kids wherever they may be. They daily talk with other parents. They stay up to date on what is happening all around them.

Social media sometimes is blamed for increasing depersonalization, but in this little small town, it just might be the coffee klatch of the 21st century.

Hand-me-down Faith

Posted on August 14, 2011Leave a comment

How many of you had to wear hand me down clothes as you were growing up?

One of my favorite mental images of hand me down clothes comes from my brothers. They are three years apart in age and both of them have school pictures from second grade in the exact same gray and blue sweater. It had been stored up until Darren could wear it, and on picture day, he went to school in the exact same outfit that Tony had years before. We might not have noticed, but my grandma keeps all of our school pictures on the wall in her kitchen and there Tony and Darren are in the exact same outfit right next to each other.

Now, even though I was an oldest child, the only girl in my family, and I might add, the oldest granddaughter on either side of my family, I still had to wear hand me down clothes.

My dad had an aunt and uncle that lived a few miles away and due to some age differences, their seven children – my dad’s cousins – were about my age.

Four of those children were girls. All of them were older than me. And every now and then, we got this great big sack of clothes from the Benesh girls.

I don’t think I ever really minded having hand me down clothes. It was normal for me. They had pretty good taste. The clothes were gently used and fit me just fine.

But I knew enough to know that you didn’t go to school and brag about the clothes that your cousins just gave you.

The virtue of handme down clothing is that it teaches you humility and modesty.

Well in Paul’s letter to the church in Rome, that is a lesson that he is trying to teach to the Christians.

He wants them to know that the gift of salvation is nothing to boast or brag about.

He reminds them that they did nothing to earn it and it belonged to someone else first. It’s a hand-me-down… and the only reason we have it is because the people who got it first rejected it.

It’s almost as if Paul is comparing our gift of salvation to a garbage bag full of clothes delivered to your house. Doesn’t that make you feel great? (sarcastic)

The problem was, however, is that this gift of salvation HAD made people feel great. Superior.

Remember, Paul is writing to the community of Christians in Rome.

The Jews had been a protected group of people under Roman law, but they were kicked out of Rome. As the ban was lifted and they began to trickle back in, the Christians who remained began to treat them poorly. They had a “better than thou” attitude.

In fact, some believed that they as Christians had in fact replaced the Jews as God’s chosen people.

That view continues today in some circles – supersessionism – that the old covenant God made with the Jews is thrown out and now the new Israel is the Christian Church. This view has led to some terrible acts of injustice hatred and violence against our Jewish brothers and sisters throughout history.

But in his words to the church of Rome, Paul negates that type of attitude. He asks: “Does this mean that God is so fed up with Israel that he’ll have nothing more to do with them? No! Has Israel stumbled so far as to fall permanently from God’s grace? Are they out for good? No!

In fact, Paul starts to wonder if this disobedience, if this hard-heartedness on the part of Israel isn’t entirely God designed.

As the Message translation puts it:

This hardness on the part of insider Israel toward God is temporary. Its effect is to open things up to all the outsiders so that we end up with a full house…. There was a time not so long ago when you were on the outs with God. But then the Jews slammed the door on him and things opened up for you. Now they are on the outs. But with the door held wide open for you, they have a way back in.

To go back to our hand-me-down clothing analogy… it’s almost as if God planned for the Jews to give their faith away like old clothing. And those of us who received that faith are now lucky enough to receive it. It’s nothing to brag about… just wear the clothes and be grateful.

However, when your friends the Jews start seeing you walking around in those clothes, walking around in that faith that they gave away… when they see you full of joy and at peace and free from the grips of sin and grace… then they are going to start to wonder what they have lost… and you just might be the vehicle God uses to help them get back in.

The important thing to remember is that it’s God’s work… not ours. You didn’t earn your salvation, and this is not a gift that you can give to others. It is God’s doing.

That is a reminder that we need to hear over and over and over again.

This is God’s work, God’s salvation, God’s plan for our lives.

We need to hear this message just as much today as the Christians in Rome needed to hear it 2000 years ago.

Because sometimes we get a little prideful. Sometimes we get a little superior when we think about our brothers and our sisters out in the world.

Sometimes we gossip about Susie Q down the street who stopped going to church, or about John Doe across town who has never graced the door of a church in his life, or about Ms. Smith’s grandson who grew up in the church and then went off to college and became a wild child.

And when we do so, it kind of makes us feel good. It kind of makes us feel important and proud and arrogant…. I go to church every Sunday. I put money in the offering plate every week. God loves me… and not those other people.

Paul’s response to that kind of attitude?

La-de-dah.

So what?

He turns to the image of a tree to drive this point home. We, as latecomers to the faith, are merely wild shoots that have been grafted in to the ancient family of faith.

In fact… there is only room for us, because some branches have been pruned. They were dead in their faith and they were cut off, and now there is room for us.

We have hand-me-down places in this family tree. They only reason we are growing is because we finally got connected to the source of life – Jesus Christ.

And that is nothing to brag about. It’s nothing we did. Its nothing we earned. And we have no reason to be cocky about it.

In fact… Paul warns us – God didn’t think twice about pruning the natural branches on the tree, so why would he hesitate to trim you off of this tree of salvation if you stop producing fruit.

We get arrogant, because what we see as we look on your Jewish brothers and sisters or Susie Q or John Doe are branches that have been pruned from a tree. People who rejected God’s love in their life. They are broken and alone, withering apart from the source of true life. And we are so glad that they are not us…

But in God’s eyes, they are just branches waiting to be grafted back in. They are beloved children that our Master loves.

No matter what we do to reject the love of God, He will never reject us. He is always looking for a way to bring his lost children back into the fold.

That should be a reassurance to us. Because we are merely recipients of extravagant, generous, hand-me-down faith.

Hand me downs can sometimes be precious gifts. And our salvation is not a gift that we should take lightly. Because a gift like this, well, it could be taken away just as easily as it was given.

Knowing how undeserving we are of such generosity, we might walk around always worrying about doing the wrong thing, anxious about losing the love of god.

But Paul reminds us in Romans – God’s gifts are never taken back. His gifts are irrevocable.

We have all disobeyed… and he has mercy on all of us.

That is why we trust in God’s love. It is steadfast. It is eternal. It is unconditional.

It is just as enduring for us who have tasted the sweet beauty of salvation as it is for those who have walked away. God loves us and will not rest until each and every single one of us knows that love.

As Paul concludes this chapter – Everything comes from God; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in Him.

Thanks be to God that his ways are not my ways. And that his love is not my love.

Amen.

Making the Congregation Cry

Posted on August 12, 2011Leave a comment

This has been an insanely busy summer… vacation, a new nephew, mission trips, fundraisers, cleaning at the church…

So I have tried to make my summer a bit easier by working through Romans with the congregation.

Ha.

In some ways, it hasn’t been that bad. Each piece kind of follows on the one before it, so I am continuing a train of thought about grace and mercy for us and others all summer long.

But last week, I combined chapters 9 and 10 and talked about how Paul was just aching in his bones with grief for his brothers and sisters who had rejected Jesus Christ.

I asked the church to think of their friends or family members who were resistant to the gospel or had left the church or had never been told about the good news of Jesus Christ. I asked them to think about the people their own hearts ache for.

I know that there are many who have personally expressed to me concern about a loved one. I have commiserated, having a husbad who isn’t really into God himself(see “Lost My Religion“).

But there was something about what the Holy Spirit did in that sermon that really moved people. Everywhere I looked, people were wiping their eyes, trying not to tear up, or digging out a tissue.

I think there are so many people in this world who really want to share their faith and share the love of God and they just don’t know how. They are afraid of rejection, they are unsure of their own story, and they “know” their family too well.

Just watching those tears come last Sunday opened my eyes to the real need for a group who is interested in learning about faith sharing. In practicing faith sharing. In having a community who is just as genuinely heartsick as they are to tell others about the love of God they have found.

I have one lesson plan that I have written about evangelism and the gospel of Mark, but it is more of a thinking sort of study, than a heart/practical look. Any suggestions of places to start?

Breaking Your Heart

Posted on August 7, 2011Leave a comment

For the last month or so, we have been reading Paul’s letter to the church in Rome. In prison, sick, struggling, shipwrecked, he just hasn’t had the time or resources to make it to Rome personally, so this letter contains everything that he thinks those people of faith in Rome need to know.

He wants them to take this letter and not only be strengthened in their own faith, but to carry this letter to their friends and neighbors and everyone they meet in Rome… and to offer to them the grace and love of Jesus Christ.

Everything we need to know about the road to salvation is right here in this letter. We’ve talked about much of it in these past weeks. All of us – no matter who we are – are under the power and control of sin. There is nothing we can do to escape it – not ritual, not the law, not ignorance, nothing.

Nothing, except Jesus Christ.

Paul writes that his faithfulness makes us righteous. His faithfulness makes us worthy of salvation. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us and by his blood we have been reconciled to God.

And so, faith and trust in Jesus Christ helps us to die to that old power of sin and now live under the power of grace. Faith and trust in Jesus Christ helps us to say no to sin and yes to God’s ways. It’s not a magic fix, and it is not an easy journey, but through Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit, the victory is ours already. Now we wait… but always knowing that no matter what happens, the love of God in Christ Jesus is ours.

That’s it… That’s the “Romans Road” as some people refer to it. Believe and trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and salvation is yours.

But what happens in this next part of the letter, Romans 9 and 10 is that Paul shifts directions.

He starts writing to the Romans about a deep sorrow that he feels over a particular group of people who have not been able to trust in these words about Jesus:

In selected verses from 9 and 10:

At the same time, you need to know that I carry with me at all times a huge sorrow. It’s an enormous pain deep within me, and I’m never free of it. I’m not exaggerating—Christ and the Holy Spirit are my witnesses. It’s the Israelites…If there were any way I could be cursed by the Messiah so they could be blessed by him, I’d do it in a minute. They’re my family. I grew up with them. They had everything going for them—family, glory, covenants, revelation, worship, promises….

Believe me, friends, all I want for Israel is what’s best for Israel: salvation, nothing less. I want it with all my heart and pray to God for it all the time. I readily admit that the Jews are impressively energetic regarding God—but they are doing everything exactly backward… After all these years of refusing to really deal with God on his terms, insisting instead on making their own deals, they have nothing to show for it.

Paul’s heart is breaking for his brothers and sisters, his neighbors, and even those people he has never met, who think that they have to earn their way to salvation. His heart is breaking for all of the people who think they are unworthy of God’s love. His heart is breaking for those people who believe that because they have done good in this world that salvation is theirs…

I know that each of us in this room this morning, has someone in our lives that our heart breaks for.

I want you to take just a moment and think about that person.

Maybe it is a spouse or a child that wants to do it their own way, and not God’s way.

A brother or sister who has always had it rough in this life and just can’t accept that God would love them after everything that has happened.

A dear friend who has left the church and left the community of believers and now is disconnected and alone in their faith struggles.

We could probably spend hours today naming those people in our lives who are separated from the love and grace of God that is in Christ Jesus.

I’ll admit it myself. My heart breaks for my own husband who is this jumbled mix of pride and doubt all at the same time. And I know that I can’t make that decision for him. I know that I can’t let it all go for him. And so I pray. And I love him even more.

We feel this way… this aching in our hearts for our brothers and sisters in this world… because we know how amazing it is to experience Christ’s love.

So, when was the last time you actually told that person how you felt? When was the last time you laid your own fears of rejection aside and asked them to just look at your heart and see the deep love and compassion and genuine concern that you have for them?

Here’s the thing. You could lay out the Roman Road for them. You could give them a lecture or hand them a tract or read to them from the bible… but when was the last time you looked that person in the eye and said –

Whether or not you are ready
Whether or not you want to let God in your life…
I need you to know that I love you and that my heart breaks sometimes because you have not yet experienced the joy and the freedom that comes from letting God in.
That love I have for you will never go away.
And God’s love for you will never go away.
Whenever, if you are ever, ready to experience it too, I’m here.

We have to actually speak the words. We have to carry that message of love and salvation to our friends.

As we heard this morning in the scripture that Colette read, “ If you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raise him from the dead, you will be saved.”

So when is the last time that you carried that message to someone you loved?

When was the last time you sat and wrestled with someone who was unsure of God’s love in their life? Or helped them to see that they could chose to let Christ rule their hearts rather than money or status or culture?

As his heart is breaking for the people he loves… Paul writes in verse 14 (and I invite you to follow along):

But how can they call for help if they don’t know who to trust? And how can they know who to trust if they haven’t heard of the One who can be trusted? And how can they hear if nobody tells them? And how is anyone going to tell them, unless someone is sent to do it?

Maybe our hearts are aching for these brothers and sisters because we have not been active enough in our faith.

Photo by: Jesse Therrien

Christ says that we need to be hearers and doers of the word. Someone, somewhere once shared the good news with us… and we heard that word of joy and believed in our own hearts. But not only do we need to believe in our hearts but we also need to confess with our mouths so that others may in turn hear.

But some of us have become “pew potatoes.” Some of us are “occasional Christians.” Some of us are afraid to be sent into the world. Some of us are hanging on to the good news instead of sharing it with others.

(Play “I’m just sitting on the dock of the bay wasting time.” )

Are we just sitting here wasting time? Are we just watching people come in and out of our lives like the ships rolling in and out of the bay?

It’s a good song… but it’s not a good motto to live by.

We are called to go. We are called to share. We are called to take leaps of faith and risks. We are called to speak and to listen. We are called to love.

Every person, in every place, including our own families and circles of friends, needs to hear the good news about Jesus Christ. Will you let Christ send you?

confrontation and follow through

Posted on May 25, 2011Leave a comment

I am notorious for finding myself in situations where my vehicle is hit by another vehicle.

Four years ago, I was stopped at a light, and the car that came up behind me failed/forgot to stop. Bumper damage.

A month or so ago, I was parked and dropping my car off at a hotel when a car backed out of a nearby spot straight into my driver’s side door.

I have to admit, I have had my fair share of fender benders that were my fault. And I did what I had to do to resolve those issues.

So it is frustrating that in each of the above situations, the person responsible never had to take responsibility.

Or rather, I haven’t made them take responsibility.

Avoidance of confrontation is my M.O. If I can resolve the issue another way, it is much preferable. I don’t like having to call someone up, sit them down, and tell them… this is not okay and you need to fix it.

And so in the first situation, I put off the phone calls. I passively wrote a letter that never got a response. And eventually the time passed and I moved and it was never resolved.

In the second situation, I’m working up the courage to call and hold the person accountable that hit me. Which means, I haven’t done it yet.

I’m not sure where this avoidance comes from. My mom is a fairly direct person… at least it has always seemed that way to me… and when there was a problem, she took care of business and she used her “taking care of business” voice and it always seemed to me that the issue was resolved. That trait was NOT passed on to me! And maybe that is only my own perspective as a girl and young woman watching my mother and she would describe herself differently… who knows! =)

I think one of the reasons that confrontation is so difficult for me is that I leave a lot of room for grace. Perhaps too much room. I know that some things are not okay, but I don’t want to have to be the person who calls it out.

In my work as a pastor, I realize that both grace and truth are needed. Repentance involves both truth about sin AND forgiveness… they are two sides of one coin. To lean too heavily one way or the other leaves us with cheap grace or heavy handed morality.

In the Ascension Sunday text for this year in the lectionary, from the gospel of Luke, we are reminded that Christ calls us to preach repentence through the forgiveness of sin. Repentence, the turning away from the past, leads us into forgiveness of our mistakes. It leads us into a live of forgiveness for others. But it also involves speaking the truth and confessing those things that need to be forgiven. In calling others to repent, we must also name the reality of sin that needs repenting!

May God grant me the grace to speak a little bit more truth, to make accountability just as important as forgiveness, and to get my car repaired without having to pay for it myself!

its not an 8-5 job…

Posted on February 26, 2011Leave a comment

For the past month and a half… probably actually since before Christmas… my schedule has been chaotic.

You are told things when you start out in ministry about how pastors sometimes work 80+ hour weeks and how you are on-call 24/7 and how your life just might get sucked up into a vortex of ministry.

I didn’t believe it.

Or rather, I was committed to not letting it happen to me.

And I must say that for a full three years, I have done “okay” at keeping my boundaries firm.

I scheduled my day off for Friday so that I would have two full days off in a row. I took time off when I worked too much the previous week. I don’t fret about afternoon naps or mornings sleeping in when meetings are scheduled for the evening. And when the weather is warm, I have a robust desire to spend my free time on the disc golf course or in my garden rather than being cramped up in the office. I get my work done, I spend time with folks, but I make sure to take care of myself, too.

But 2011 has been absolutely nuts.

I realized this morning as I was riding in a car to yet another Saturday church-related function that I had only spent about an hour with my husband the entire week. I realized that it is the fifth Saturday in a row that I have had something going on… between funerals and conference meetings and church retreats. I realized that since I made two hospital visits and worked on the newsletter yesterday that I have not had a day off this week.

What on earth happened?

I think part of the slip in my boundaries has to do with a number of important things going on in the life of the church that I have chosen to prioritize and give extra time to. I also ran into a week with four funerals and was gone for a week and therefore had catch-up work.

But there was another shift in my household that I didn’t quite take note of. My husband started working 8-5, Monday through Friday.

Before this, B had worked with his dad and the time was flexible. The only time I knew he would be working away from home was on Tuesdays… other than that, he would go in on-call and work a lot from home. They fix computers and I am always amazed at the ability to take over a client’s computer and do updates and take care of issues from the comfort of our home.

All of that changed when my father-in-law had a seizure just after the new year.

We don’t know what caused it, but it happened.

And now, he is not allowed to drive, and the two of them have become an inseperable team… heading off to see clients together and working from his dad’s office.

Before this, if I had to work in the evening, I got an afternoon to spend with my husband. Fridays almost always were free for both of us. And even when I got home from meetings, we would stay up late watching movies because we both had the freedom to sleep a bit later.

Now, my husband gets up before me and is out the door before I have a chance to really wake up. My evenings are just about as busy, which is why three nights out of five this week I wasn’t home before 8 or 9 or later… when he was getting ready to settle down and turn in.

It’s easier to say yes to a hospital visit or a meeting on a Friday, because I don’t have anyone at home waiting for me.

There is definately something to be said for having a stay-at-home spouse when you are in ministry. I wonder if others of you who have spouses who work have similiar frustrations. How do you balance out the time with your husband or wife or family when one of the traditional “weekend” days is taken up with work and ministry? How do you find time to spend with one another when weeknight meetings are a regular part of the job?

I have always cherished the flexibility of my schedule. But I’m starting to resent it… a little bit. I miss my husband. I miss my days off. And this chaos has got to get some order put to it.

stitch and bitch #reverb10

Posted on January 10, 20112 Comments

I first learned how to knit sitting next to my college president’s wife – Patty LaGree. We were hanging out in the lounge of the chapel and she taught a small group of us how to cast on and knit and purl. I was hooked (haha, no pun intended.)

I made a few things here and there, mostly really simple scarves.

But a year ago, I learned how to crochet at a young clergy retreat. I haven’t looked back.

There is something about holding that yarn and hook in your fingertips that is empowering. You can make mistakes. You can tear it all back out. You can leave the imperfections in. You can create beautiful, beautiful things with a few flicks of your wrist.

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

So I got this bug to actually make something significant this year and have very nearly succeeded in crocheting three blankets – one for my neice and my two nephews.

I began all the way back in June at annual conference and have since carried these balls of yarn and hooks with me everywhere I go. They have been amazing ways to pass time at conferences and really do help me focus on what is going on.

The youngest one’s blanket… which I started first… is ALMOST finished. It was still in pieces at Christmas time when the other two recieved theirs. But I made significant progress on it today and it will hopefully be completed this evening… I’m really that close!!!

To see more pictures of each blanket look here