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gender – Salvaged Faith

Abiding in Love

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Loneliness is a growing epidemic in our society.
Yes, I said epidemic.
Studies have now shown that loneliness and social isolation raises our stress hormones, causes inflammation, and can lead to heart disease, arthritis, diabetes, dementia, and more. In fact, some claim that it could even be a bigger health risk than smoking or obesity.

Being a part of community is good for your health.
In a world-wide study of “Blue Zones” or communities that are known to have residents that live 100 years or longer, they found that belonging played a role in three of the nine factors they identified.
They lived close to their families – often in multi-generational homes. And they had a tribe, a close circle of friends, that supported them in healthy behaviors. The vast majority of the centenarians belonged to a faith-based community.

Right here, in this faith community, we have been asking what it might mean to abide in God, to make our home in God, and to welcome others into that community of love. In these weeks since Easter, we’ve talked about what it means to be family, what it means to gather around God’s table, and what it means to return home to our faith.
If you haven’t noticed, one of the themes that keeps coming over and over again is that we need one another! We were created by God to be in community. And the fabric that holds us together is love. God’s love. Flowing through us.

This morning’s scriptures are no different.
In the first epistle of John, we are reminded that if you love a parent, you automatically love the children that come from that parent.
Those of us who love God have to keep God’s commandments – and that means that we show love to all of the children of God in this world.
This is how we overcome the forces of this world that would lead to death. This is how we combat loneliness and social isolation. This is how we help people live long abundant lives. God’s victory is known through love.

In John’s gospel, we are again urged to abide in God’s love and to love one another as Christ has loved us.
We have been chosen, appointed, sent forth, to share that love with the world.

I must admit that my faith in the ability of the church to truly love and accept all people has been tried a bit lately.
First, there is the ongoing tension of difference in the United Methodist Church when it comes to if and how we will accept LGBTQ+ people into the fullness of the life of our church. As more details come out about our bishop’s plan for providing a path forward as the church, we will have more indepth conversation here at Immanuel about what it could mean for us as a congregation.
But this week, we also released the results of five constitutional amendments that were passed at the 2016 General Conference. These amendments must be voted on by all of the annual conferences worldwide and be approved by a 2/3 margin. Three of them passed, but two did not.
The first amendment that failed will be up for a revote this year, because of an error that was discovered only after the results were released. But it dismayed me and others across the globe to learn that after 28 years of trying, we have again failed to constitutionally declare that men and women are equal before God and equal in the church.
The second amendment that failed, likewise, would have extended protections to more people in the church, eliminating discrimination on the basis of age, gender, ability, or marital status.
The rationale for why these amendments failed is complicated. In some cases, people thought they didn’t go far enough. In others, there were concerns about the potential ramifications for mandatory retirement or concerns about someone with intellectual disabilities being the chair of Finance or SPRC. In still other cases, the language about men and women was caught up with language about God being neither male or female in a way that troubled them.

What I see, however, is that we have failed to make love our primary motivation.
We have allowed fears to keep us from fully and without condition creating space in the body of Christ for every child of God to share their gifts.

Part of me didn’t want to share these results with you.
I wish that we were blissfully ignorant to the ways in which the church is a human institution and makes mistakes.
I know that many in this room aren’t even aware that the United Methodist Church has a constitution, much less what is in it.
But I also realized this week that one of the reasons that these two amendments failed is that as pastors, as leaders, as teachers, we don’t do a good enough job reminding one another that love is the source of our victory over fear, cynicism, and the ways of this world.

If I were to stand before you today and only talk about love, without also talking about how far we have yet to come, I would not being doing my job.
In the statement from our General Board of Church and Society, General Secretary Susan Henry-Crowe reminds us that “Mother’s Day was born out of appreciation for the tireless advocacy of women.” Anna Jarvis wanted to honor her mother’s life-long activism and in May of 1907, a Mother’s Day service was organized at the Methodist Church in Grafton West Virginia where her mother Ann had been a Sunday school teacher.
Could you imagine a church, could you imagine the body of Christ where women were not present or not contributing? Where women were cut off from the community? What would our church look like without women preaching or giving financially or taking care of the children in the nursery or preparing Wednesday night meals or leading the music.
The same question could be asked about if we had no older adults. Or children. Or divorced persons. Or single adults. Or folks with ADD or autism. Or men.

The community God intends for us is far greater than the one we would choose for ourselves. Perhaps that is why in the gospel of John, Jesus reminds us that we didn’t choose God… but instead we were chosen.
We were called into this community of faith to be in relationship with all of these people.
And our task is to love, honor, and celebrate the gifts of each person in this room.
When we combine our efforts and our talents and allow each person to fully commit to God’s work in this world – then that victory of love over the division and pain of this world will be complete.

When we close our service today, we are singing a good old hymn about when we all get to heaven.
But as we started our service, in the last line of Wesley’s famous hymn, we sang that we should own that love is heaven.
Heaven is not some far off place that awaits us when we die.
It is a reality that we make through our love of one another right here and right now.
And as we abide in God, we are reminded that we are also called to create room for others in this community of faith.
When every person knows the love of God and is valued and respected and honored… then we can sing and shout in victory… because heaven has been made real among us.
Amen.

When strangers meet in the woods.. 

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​I was run/walking today on a wooded path alone. Three guys were heading towards me, drinking beers, joking around. My heart rate increased. I did that mental calculus, wondering if something happened, and I screamed, would anyone hear. 

As they got closer, one of the guys said: good morning, ma’am! 

So I said good morning back. 
Are you having fun? He asked.
Trying! I said back. 
Keep at it! He responded. 

Earlier in my walk, I came across a deer in the middle of the path. While I was far off, it simply watched, waited, did it’s own mental calculus. I was actually astonished at how close we came. 

Photo from randyroberts.wordpress.com

But them my ear buds beeped, signalling the next run interval and as I changed pace, the deer was startled and took off through the woods.

I hate that we live in a world where my first instinct was to be cautious. I wasn’t afraid, but alert and anxious… just like I’ve been conditioned to be by the friends, family, and strangers who have had their vulnerability taken advantage of.  Just like that deer that turned an ran when it percieved me as a threat.

Even if I didn’t feel physically threatened, I have been cat-called enough that I was dreading the moment I came to the three guys. 

I was wrong.

Today, I’m grateful for people who remind me that most people really are decent, that kind souls exist, and who appreciate a beautiful stroll on a path in the woods on a gorgeous day as much as I do. 

Love, apologies, and prayer breakfasts

I sat in a room filled with hundreds of Christians and felt a little bit like an outsider.

This was the second year I’ve attended the Iowa Prayer Breakfast… held every Maundy Thursday in Des Moines.  It includes prayers for our state and leaders, music, and a keynote message.  On the site, it clearly states that “people from all walks of life come to enjoy this Maundy Thursday celebration.”

I am so grateful for the opportunity to go and be in prayer with so many faithful people and for those who have invited me.  And that is because my hope and prayer for this kind of public gathering of people of faith is that the above statement is lived out:  that the tent is big enough for all walks of life and all corners of the Christian family to find a place in that room. After all,  ALL of our prayers are needed during these difficult times.

Yet, that wasn’t entirely my experience.

I found myself constantly wanting to interject with a “yes, but…” or “what about…” or “that’s not exactly right…”

The lineup of past speakers for this event has been full of Christian apologists and I found myself wanting to apologize for the public theology I was encountering.  I looked out on the 1,000+ people in attendance and feared that some might think this was the full scope of Christianity. And while it wasn’t appropriate to stand and lift up counterpoints in the moment, I do have this platform to lift up a different voice.

During the event, more than one speaker lifted up the religious persecution of Christians and Jews.  Our governor said, “The lives, the safety, the well-being of Christians and Jews especially in the Middle East is certainly threatened.”  Yet, Religious persecution is not limited to these two faiths. In the wake of the attacks in Brussels, I mourn for the loss of life there, and know that Yazidis, Turkmen, and Shia Muslims are daily under attack from ISIS in their homes as well.  I inhabit a Christian faith that also weeps with Sikh and Muslim and Buddhist and unbelieving brothers and sisters around the world who fear for their lives because of this kind of persecution.

As Branstad turned his gaze to threats to our religious freedom in the United States, I lift up the words of George Washington in his letter to the Hebrew Congregation:

…happily, the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it [toleration] on all occasions their effectual support… May the children of the stock of Abraham who dwell in this land continue to merit and enjoy the good will of the other inhabitants – while every one shall sit in safety under his own vine and fig tree and there shall be none to make him afraid.

The Christian faith does not ask us to abandon our love, care, and concern for brothers and sisters of other faiths. Rather than being “under attack,” I am free to practice my faith every single day without fear and yet I know that Muslim brothers and sisters right here in Des Moines sometimes have to be careful about how they do so.  As such, I was moved to tears as Pope Francis washed and kissed the feet of Muslim refugees on Maundy Thursday.   As a fellow clergywoman, Janie McElwee Smith, wrote:

The truth is this: no matter what else we do, say, or stand for, if we do not follow Christ’s commandment to love all of God’s children as Jesus has loved us, then we have not just missed the point. Nothing else we do will matter ?

What if this Iowa Prayer Breakfast, held on Maundy Thursday, was an extension of the command Jesus gives on this day: to love.

What if we lifted up in our prayers of lament and confession the realities of racism, homelessness, addiction, hunger, and poverty in our state.  What if instead of simply naming the evils and wickedness of our nation (and subtly placing the blame on the sinful people out there), we actually turned that same introspection to our own hearts – to the intolerance, the greed, the fears we perpetuate in spite of our proclaimed trust in the Lord. In a room filled with elected leaders, what if together, we repented of our failure to love the last, the least, and the lost.  After all, Maundy Thursday reminds us that in spite of the disciples’ failings, fears, and betrayal, Jesus loved them and washed their feet and continued to trust them with the message and mission of the Kingdom of God.  This day, above all days, it is appropriate to find ourselves in that crowd of those who turned their backs and to admit our sins. What if the message we heard on this morning was a challenge to a room full of influential leaders to repent and live more faithfully as disciples of Christ in the world?

I am exceptionally curious if this event is as politically partisan as it appeared this time, every year.  It felt more like the faith was promoting the elected leadership, rather than the leadership together with the public seeking God’s direction and blessing.  If this, truly, was a space where all Christians could pray for Iowa, in spite of our political leanings, then I think there would be much greater room for confession, lament, thanksgiving, and prayers for vision and unity.  I think whenever we surround ourselves with a particular perspective, we have a hard time seeing ourselves clearly.    Our current republican administration was represented through those elected officials in attendance and I can imagine those who are tasked with organizing the event are careful not to ruffle feathers. I wonder if it felt tilted in the opposite direction during democratic administrations.  Or does this gathering represent a more particular lens of Christian tradition?   My imagination and hope for this event is that the walls dividing us politically might be leveled as we share a meal with those with which we might not agree. After all, we share a common love for Jesus and this world and that love crosses all boundaries.

Two final words:

download1) Our speaker, Dr. Alveda King, did hearken back to the original languages in interpreting Romans 13, but then lifted up a cry against using X-mas instead of Christmas… with great applause from the crowd.  Note: the X used in this expression is a Christogram, in this case the letter “Chi” and the first letter of Christ in the Greek language, often used alone to represent Christ.  It can also be seen in the chi-rho, where the two Greek letters are combined to represent the person of Christ.

2) I have only attended for two years, but I have yet to see a clergywoman speak from the platform and three pastors spoke/prayed each year. I’d be happy to hear it has been otherwise in the past. Also, only four of the speakers listed since 1977 were women, including this year’s keynote. Both years, thankfully, scripture has been shared by a laywoman.  One way to intentionally show that “people from all walks of life” are welcome is to include people from all walks of life as speakers.

 

Two Texts: Privilege and the Beloved Community

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In my life, I have been pulled over by a police officer perhaps half a dozen times.   One was for a broken taillight and the rest were for speeding.

Every single time, my heart rate rose and my palms got sweaty. I was nervous. I felt guilty. I knew I was in trouble.

But never, ever, did I fear for my life during a traffic stop.

Never have I ever felt unsafe in the presence of an authority figure.

And never, after one of those stops, have I received a ticket.

 

Contrast my story with that of a woman named Sandra Bland, who was pulled over for failing to signal a lane change on July 10 this summer.

Maybe her palms got sweaty. Maybe her heart rate started to rise. Maybe she was nervous or had feelings of guilt. Maybe she knew she was in trouble.

Maybe she feared for her life.

Maybe she felt unsafe in the presence of an authority figure.

Maybe her fight or flight instinct kicked in.

As the conversation between her and the officer escalated, Sandra Bland was arrested.

 

Will you pray with me.

Gracious God, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of all our hearts and minds be holy and pleasing to you, O God, our Rock and our Redeemer.

 

Three days after Sandra Bland was pulled over for failing to signal when she changed lanes, she was found dead in her jail cell.

It was my first day back in the office after my renewal leave, and I decided that morning that I wanted to do this series in worship.

Because we live in world where I, a white woman, am pulled over for speeding and I am sent on my way without a ticket, and where another person, an African-American woman, is pulled over and ends up dead.

Maybe she took her own life. Maybe she was murdered.

I honestly have no idea. And I’m not sure that it matters, because either way, the result is the loss of her life.

And to be honest, I can’t know the heart of the arresting officer to know if he treated her differently based on the color of her skin.

The problem is, I have heard her story too many times.

In November of last year, Bishop Julius Calvin Trimble, our bishop, shared his story as part of lecture at Cornell College:

In 1974, when I was a second year college student, I, along with my younger brother James, went to visit our older brother in California. He lived near Palo Alto, California and was working for Hewlett Packard as a computer engineer.  While traveling to his apartment in his Volkswagen Beetle we were stopped by police who questioned my brother and asked for license and registration. Even though he produced his license, registration and work identification we were still told to exit the car with hands up. Additional squad cars arrived and with guns drawn on them, three young African American men were handcuffed and taken to jail. We remained handcuffed for about 45 minutes and were then released after being told that my brother’s car was not stolen but we looked out of place and suspicious driving in that community. My older brother, John, now a college professor, was, at the time of the incident, a graduate of Northwestern University and Stanford University. 1974 was a long time ago, but thousands of African Americans have similar stories.  A recent CNN special highlighted one college student in New York who had been stooped and frisked over 100 times. (http://iowabeencouraged.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2015-01-06T11:01:00-06:00&max-results=1&start=6&by-date=false)

What I do know is that this is not the regular experience of my white brothers and sisters.

What I do know is that this is not about conflict between African Americans and police officers. That might be one facet or symptom of what is going on, but that’s not what this is about.

 

We, all of us, have stopped seeing the image of God in the eyes of another person.

We have become comfortable in our own stories and situations, in our own class or race or gender, and we have stopped reaching beyond them to be in real relationship with other people.

We have started to believe that their lives don’t matter to us.

 

Perhaps Jesus saw this happening around him when he told a story to a man who would have been his disciple:

There was once a man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho. On the way he was attacked by robbers. They took his clothes, beat him up, and went off leaving him half-dead. Luckily, a priest was on his way down the same road, but when he saw him he angled across to the other side. Then a Levite religious man showed up; he also avoided the injured man.

A Samaritan traveling the road came on him. When he saw the man’s condition, his heart went out to him. He gave him first aid, disinfecting and bandaging his wounds. Then he lifted him onto his donkey, led him to an inn, and made him comfortable. In the morning he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take good care of him. If it costs any more, put it on my bill—I’ll pay you on my way back.’ (Luke 10:30-35, MSG)

The priest decided that the life of this man didn’t matter.

He responsibilities to attend to and couldn’t defile himself.

The Levite decided that the life of this man didn’t matter.

He had an image to maintain.

They had other things to worry about.

They were special.

They were different.

And that man didn’t matter.

 

The Samaritans were mixed race people who were often thought of as lesser than their Jewish cousins. He would have been bound by the same rules as the priest and Levite when it came to touching a bleeding, dying man.

Yet the Samaritan stopped.

The Samaritan believed that this life… that every life… holds the image of God and is of sacred worth.

The Samaritan went out of their way to show love and care and mercy towards this person.

 

Privilege can be defined as a right, immunity or benefit enjoyed by someone beyond the advantages of most.

It can be defined as the position someone holds that exempts them from burdens or problems.

Privilege is always social. It describes our relationship to other people and how we are either the beneficiaries of that position, or we are the group that privileged status is being compared to.

 

Religious Privilege is being a Priest or a Levite instead of a Samaritan and feeling like you are immune from having to stop and check on the welfare of another human being.

Male Privilege is making 17% more money working the same job than your female counterparts.

Class Privilege is being able to choose to eat healthy food if you want, because you live in a neighborhood with grocery stores or you own transportation to get you there and back.

Ability Privilege means that as a healthy person, you don’t have to think about your daily pain level when planning activities and events.

Racial Privilege is getting a cut, opening the first aid kit, and the flesh-colored band-aid matches your skin tone.

 

And what we discover in this world is that we are never simply one of these things.

Some of us experience multiple advantages and privileges based upon who we are.

Some of us experience a mixture of them all.

Some of us find ourselves at the intersection of multiple social disadvantages and burdens.

 

Our world today is not the Beloved Community envisioned by Dr. King or the Kingdom of God lifted up by Jesus and described by Paul.

It is not a place where Jewish and Palestinian kids can go to school in peace.

It is not a world where transgender women and straight women experience the same judicial system.

This is not a country where black boys and white girls will grow up with the same opportunities.

And the biggest problem is that we who experience the advantages often don’t even realize the privileges we hold.

We are so caught up in our own experiences that we don’t see that of others.

Just this last week, I got an email from our Commission on Persons with Disabilities in our annual conference. In the process of planning annual conference worship, I tried hard to include people who spoke various languages, genders, ages, ethnicities… and the email was a gentle reminder that no one who led worship had a physical disability.

Privilege is looking up at the stage at annual conference or up in the front during worship and knowing that the person who is there looks or talks like you.

I know how important that is, because I remember when I looked up at the stage and saw a woman preaching and I thought… I could do this.

Yet, because of my social location, providing that same opportunity to someone who was differently abled didn’t even cross my mind.

But it does now.

 

In our video this morning, Bishop Warner Brown, the President of our Council of Bishops tells us that:

Hope occurs in the places where we meet people. It involves where people live, where they work, where they face the challenges of life.

Hope occurs in the places where we meet people who don’t look or talk or move like us.

Hope occurs when we let love and not fear rule our actions.

Hope occurs when we cross over the road to where we see someone who is at a disadvantage – whether they have been injured or oppressed or are struggling or are behind – and we stop to see the image of God in them.

Hope occurs when we shed our own privilege and step out of our comfort zones to meet someone where they are.

Hope occurs when we listen more than we speak about our life experiences.

 

As we hear in 1 John, chapter 4:

This is love… not that we loved God, but that God loved us and sent his son to sacrifice his life for us.

And if God loves us in this way… so we should love one another in this way.

Love without fear.

Love without privilege.

Love without question.

Love.

having it all: proverbs 31 after women’s lib

so, i’ve been thinking a lot about this “having it all” thing. Can we have the family and the kids and the job and the happy husband and STILL be happy ourselves.

In one of the church small groups this morning, we talked about the woman from proverbs 31.

Proverbs 31:10-31
10A capable wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good, and not harm,a
ll the days of her life.
13She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14She is like the ships of the merchant,
she brings her food from far away.
15She rises while it is still night
and provides food for her household
and tasks for her servant-girls.
16She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17She girds herself with strength,
and makes her arms strong.
18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20She opens her hand to the poor,
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all her household are clothed in crimson.
22She makes herself coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is known in the city gates,
taking his seat among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them;
she supplies the merchant with sashes.
25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and call her happy;
her husband too, and he praises her:
29“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31Give her a share in the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the city gates.

She is the ideal woman – and for many thousands of years has been this image of what women should strive for.

What amazed me during this study this morning is how much better I started feeling about this passage of scripture! I always thought it was some rediculously idealistic picture of womanhood that no one could possibly live up to and it had to have been written by a man… who wanted his wife to be everything for him. whatever. But as we talked about it this morning, we talked about how enterprising this woman was. She was the breadwinner while her husband sat on his ass (okay, sure he was an elder in the community and sat at the gates of the city solving people’s problems…) But still, she was the one out making business transactions, she was not only making goods, but selling them, “she perceives that her merchandise is profitable. her lamp does not go out at night.” – which either means that she is burning the candle at both ends… OR that she is making enough money to support the family that they don’t have to worry about putting the candle out at night and feel free to use that extra oil.

And then you get to the later verses. “Strength and dignity are her clothing… she opens her mouth with wisdom… the teaching of kindness is on her tongue… she does not eat the bread of idleness” I think that these are totally virtues that we can apply to our “do it all” lives today. We can do what we are called to in our jobs and have families as long as we keep these things in mind. We can be strong, be wise, and be kind and compassionate. we may not have a lot of time left, but we will be filling our lives up with good things. and we just might even be satisfied.

The last verse i love: ” give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the city gates.” – notice her gifts and the fruit of what she is doing. We don’t have to do it all… we just have to do what we love, what we have been blessed with, take that and be fruitful with it. In today’s world, I don’t have to make clothes and buy vineyards and get up before sunrise to make food for my family. I DO need to be faithful and a good steward of the gifts that God has given me. I need to take this gift of ministry and do something with it.

Like the parable of the talents from Matthew 25:14-30. We need to fear (read: reverently awe) our God, by acknowledging the importance of what has been laid at our feet. And then we must do something with it! If this whole pastor thing is my calling… along with being a wife and someday a mother – then it’s okay if I find the balance between those things… as long as we are being faithful. As long as we are not wasting our time with idle things.

The big trouble I have, in my own life, is with that idleness piece. I like to waste time. I like to procrastinate. I like to get on the grey’s anatomy message boards and read what other people have to say about the show. I like to play wow with my husband. I like to watch top chef. and I am eating the bread of idleness.

more community. more support for one another. more deep and holy sabbath time (instead of wasted time). more done for God’s glory.

domesticated

Brandon headed into Cedar Rapids to drop off his car at the shop (stupid check engine light) and bring a bunch of stuff from his dad’s house down. We are now closer to furnishing our big house! (if only we could sort through the boxes of memorabilia and clothes and books he had in storage in his Dad’s basement)

Meanwhile, I unpacked the kitchen and did a ton of laundry! The house is closer to being unpacked – if only we could figure out what to do with all of the empty boxes and packing supplies! I am a little ashamed at how quickly Brandon and I slipped into gender roles, with me ironing our sheets and Brandon shoveling the sidewalk – eek! Now that we have an outside – Brandon definitely knows more about cars and raking and snowblowers than I do – it has made it easier to have more definate roles.