general conference – Page 3

Posted on May 2, 2016Leave a comment

I serve on the Rules of Order Committee for our Iowa Annual Conference. These rules are basically the organizing and structural principles that guide our shared work and life together – both within our 3-4 day conference sessions and for the rest of the year.

We’ve been working hard to clarify and “clean up” the rules. We had stuck a number of standing reports within our Rules of Order at one point that really didn’t belong. And now, we are working to examine which of the rules help us to live effectively into shared ministry together, and which are hindering us from the work before us. A colleague on the committee shared with lament: “it’s like we didn’t know how to trust each other, so we just wrote all of these rules instead.”

Maybe you are familiar with the feeling. An employee leaves under bad circumstances, so you change the job description before hiring someone new… so that all of the previous person’s faults can be avoided. Or one person oversteps an unwritten boundary and the entire system reacts by making a complex set of rules.

Rules are good. They guide and shape our life together. They provide the foundation or the framework upon which our homes and churches grow and flourish. Done well, they provide just enough support and instruction to enable us to be creative and joyfully share in our work together and then they get out of the way.

And I’m also acutely aware of the ability of rules to protect and defend the innocent, the marginalized, and the powerless. Rules can keep us from running amok and forgetting to look around and see who we have neglected to create space for at the table.

But that comment from my colleague keeps sticking with me. Too often, because of distrust, or instead of doing the hard work of learning how to trust or trying to build trust, we just create new rules. We fill our churches, our institutions, our Discipline, with do’s and don’ts.

As I pour over the nearly 1500 pages of legislation brought to the General Conference, that comment keeps ringing out in the back of my mind.

Is this piece of legislation a symptom of our distrust of one another? Or is it a tool that will help us work together towards God’s future?

Over and over, I ask these questions.

Will this addition or deletion help us be more faithful to the witness of God in our world today as the people called United Methodist? Or are we simply adding or deleting a rule because we aren’t happy with what Mr. Smith said at the last Ad Council meeting?

Does this legislation lift up possibility of God calling us in a new way? Or is it filled with fear that holds us back from living out God’s dream?

I don’t believe our work at General Conference 2016 is to legislate trust. We can’t “whereas” and “therefore” our way out of our disagreements. So I pray for the God of hope to fill our proceedings. I pray for a Spirit of direction that will help us to create a framework for ministry that can reach every corner of this globe. I pray that the Living Word would be heard afresh so that God’s vision for today might be heard a new.

Thoughts on “UMC: Revisiting Human Sexuality”

Today, I saw an article by Rev. Dr. Steve Harper, the former Vice President and Dean of the Florida Campus of Asbury Theological Seminary called “UMC: Revisiting Human Sexuality.” He writes about a topic that has arisen at every General Conference in my lifetime… and will again in May.

My only experience of this discussion at the GC level was that of entrenchment, pain, and grief. Nobody really listened to one another. Everyone stuck to their talking points. And those who are most closely and personally impacted by our current position – LGBTQ persons (lay and clergy and their allies) – felt like they had no choice but to interrupt proceedings in order to be heard. I wrote about that day as it happened and you can read it, if you want, here.

But he brings up four points to bear in mind in May. He claims the terms of the conversation have changed since 1972; there is new information that needs to be heard:

Scholarly work has shown you can be a “biblical Christian” and hold a non-traditional view of the “clobber passages.”
Scientific research has transformed how we understand human sexuality.
the actual witness of LGBTQ Christians – “There is no doubt that gay Christians are living as faithful disciples and serving effectively as clergy.”
Our myopic view on LGBTQ persons has kept us from the conversation we should be having about human sexuality and ethical behavior in general.

Points one and three are probably the ones that have the most impacted my own position on this topic. I simply do not read six verses of scripture the same way some in our church do. But I firmly believe that we are all doing our best to be faithful to the scriptures. And perhaps my reading is impacted by my experience and relationships with LBGTQ persons… in the same way that our understanding of verses like 1 Timothy 2:12 has been impacted by the experience of women actually teaching (umm… like myself….). I can’t read those passages the same way after knowing the couple with three adopted kids who sat on the church board. Or the pastors who have challenged me with the gospel and provided care and comfort in difficult times. Or the friend who turned his back on a promiscuous life, found Jesus Christ, and is now happily married to the man of his dreams.

I think of all Rev. Dr. Harper’s points, maybe the fourth is the most compelling reason to change the conversation. I think of that friend I just mentioned who wasn’t able to separate his sexuality from his behaviors because he thought the church was rejecting all of it… until finally he heard that God loved him as a gay man and he found the ability to make different choices. Or the dinner conversation I just had at Easter about marriage: if the only criteria we use to define marriage is that it is between one man and one woman, then we lose our ability to speak about abuse, covenants, respect, mutual love, and a whole host of other biblical principals… and in fact, we ignore much of what the bible actually says about marriage (some of which, we happily reject).

I pray fervently that we can all truly hear one another at General Conference this year. I hope that the alternative process for these conversations might bear fruit – if we have the courage to vote for and use them on this topic. Above all, I pray that God would guide us and help us to be faithful, honest, and gentle with one another and show us a path forward as a people.

home #gc2012

Posted on May 6, 2012Leave a comment

The processing of what exactly happened these past two weeks will take time. My brain is still too full and jumbled to even begin to dig deep.

But in response to some initial thoughts by the chair of our Iowa delegation, I started to think about some things that I am bringing home:

1) a reminder that we cannot legislate trust
2) the amazing experience of working together with people who are so different from myself and loving one another
3) knowing that all of the things we do… in the grand scheme of things what really matters is that people have a place at the table in our local communities.
4) a desire to learn French
5) a deeper understanding of the process and the people who lead our church – and a recognition that we are all just people… people who care, who make mistakes, who put make-up on in bathrooms and drink coffee and say the wrong things and the right things, who deeply desire what is best for our church and yet might disagree on what that is. It is humbling and inspiring and beautiful and messy.

Shake It Out… #gc2012

Posted on May 3, 20121 Comment

I’m not even sure there are words to describe the last 24 hours.

My roommate and re-acquainted friend from our youth days, Jessica Ireland, was hit by a truck in an intersection last night. She came out on the other side sore, scraped up, with deep scrapes on her foot that will take a while to heal… but with no broken bones. She came back to the hotel late last night and some of us young adult delegates from Iowa kept her company with pizza and conversation and laughter until the wee hours of the morning.

With little sleep, but a heart full of gratitude that Jessica is okay… or at least will be with some time… we headed to conference.

Our agenda today dealt with sex, money, and power. Literally.

Human sexuality occupied most of our morning session… and I do mean most, because after we failed to pass legislation that claimed United Methodist people of faith disagree on the issue, a protest crossed the bar and occupied the space. We were heading into the morning break, so it didn’t seem like a big deal. Those of us who gathered shared communion because what else do you do when you feel so broken? Where else do you turn?

But as the conference returned from break, it became clear that those who were in the middle were not leaving. I was back in my seat, but others refused to budge. After the monitoring report in which our head of GCSRW took off her badge and prophetically helped us to see that all of us are children of God, Bishop Coyner declared that the conference was unable to continue its business, he dismissed us for lunch (1.5 hours early), and declared that when we returned from lunch at 2pm that the plenary hall would be closed to all but delegates.

I’m going to just say it. I am an ally of the GLBT community. I have not always been a strong ally or advocate in the past because I feel it is my pastoral duty to care for all of my flock and to provide a safe space for people wherever they are and whatever they believe. So, I’m not outspoken. But my mother-in-law is a lesbian. I have dear friends who are clergy and/or would like to be clergy who are out. I have friends and mentors from my years in seminary and working at West End who are gay or lesbian or transgendered and have helped me to become a better Christian. A good friend from my high school youth group came out to me as bisexual. I have congregation members who have GLBT sons or daughters or grandchildren or siblings.

So as I watched my brothers and sisters in Christ in pain, I was heartbroken. We had said once again that we can’t even agree to disagree about this issue. And I saw the faces of those I love and knew that I couldn’t stand by, I couldn’t leave the plenary space if they were there, singing their hearts out, around the communion table. Not knowing if as a reserve delegate I would be allowed back in if I left for lunch, I sat in my chair and wept with friends. I prayed with my Bishop. While I knew that I was not prepared or felt comfortable occupying the plenary space or facing potential arrest from the non-violent demonstration, I was determined not to be shut out of the room. I prayed for a peaceful resolution for that moment… knowing that a peaceful resolution for our denomination would have to wait another four years or longer.

For three hours, those who were around the communion table sang and marched. And as plenary gathered once again, it was announced all would be welcome back in the room. And then our Bishops became our pastors. They calmed our hearts. They spoke peace. It was not okay, and they spoke that truth. Bishop Wenner said: This General Conference and the polity of our church have hurt you. She was real. She was honest. And we all listened. And the protest ended and they marched out of the room holding one hand up in the sign of peace.

Someone tweeted that nothing quiets a protest faster than a discussion of actuarial tables and within minutes, we were ankle deep in pension discussions. And then we talked about delegating the powers of general conference to another body and the petitions (amendments to the constitution) failed. And all day long, I kept looking for the voices of women and people of color and they were few and far between. I’m not sure if we were tired or beat up or if we just couldn’t get a word in edgewise, but the entire afternoon felt very heavy…

When we came to worship this evening, we weren’t quite sure we wanted to worship. We weren’t sure our hearts were in it. But Marcia McFee did it again… the right words at the right time. The right songs to stir our souls. The right symbolic actions to bring us together as the body of Christ… and dear Lord, the right bishop to break open the word of God for us. Bishop Kiesey’s words were like healing balm for my soul. I was reminded that this work of two weeks is just that – long, hard, difficult work. But it is not everything. We are called to feed the lambs of God. We are called to feed the sheep of Jesus’ flock. And on Sunday I’m going home to be IN ministry. To love the flock God has entrusted me with… to lead them… to feed them… to care for and cast nets wide in search of those people in my community who are desperate for God’s love. None of this matters if we can’t leave this place and go and serve the ones Jesus loves. That’s it. Feed his sheep. Simple. Succinct. So True.

As we closed, the Lake Junaluska Singers broke it down like no other. A regular dance party broke out on the floor of general conference and we continued dancing until we had worked out all of the tension and stress and weariness of the day. It was cleansing to let go. It was holy to let the Spirit move us. It was joy in the midst of suffering, kindom fellowship in the midst of the broken world.

My friend, Sarah, told me tonight that there is a reason dancing is a part of a purging ritual in so many cultures. We can’t carry that pain with us everywhere. We have to shake it off. We have to dance it out. We have to let wild abandon come over us so that we can breathe deeply, replenish our souls, and start over again tomorrow.

Lord have mercy.

when the storms of life are raging #gc2012

Posted on May 3, 2012Leave a comment

Our General Conference has been full of metaphors of water. Storms, wind, rain, water, shoreline, sails, rope, salt, you name it – we’ve shared the image. And it has been extraordinarily powerful when those symbols have captured the moments we have experienced: healing, encouragement, etc.

But that metaphor is also difficult when you feel like the waves are going up and down and up and down and a storm is brewing and the waves get higher and higher. General Conference is like that. Highs and lows. It is an emotional roller coaster of worshipful moments that help you soar in praise of God and then lead you into deep lament and repentance. It is the political thrill of watching legislation you deeply care about get discussed and perfected and pass… and then the heartbreaking disappointment when the church fails to act, or muddles the process, or goes in a direction that you feel is not God’s will.

Someone described it as inducing its own special kind of PTSD. And perhaps I didn’t quite realize what they meant until I found myself literally holding my breath, arms out in prayer over the whole delegation, waiting for the seconds to count down as the vote was cast for the church restructuring. The plan was not, and is not, perfect. We tried to work on some amendments and managed to increase representation from the central conferences, but did not pass what I believed was an important amendment to retain the independence of GCORR and GCSRW. Those two agencies are now subsumed into a “committee on inclusiveness,” and the failure of the amendment was devastating for me.

What troubled me the most is that there were still so many perfections and corrections that needed to be made to the plan but we didn’t take the time to make them. The UMW board was changed without us realizing it. The numbers don’t quite add up right on other boards. There are errata everywhere. But lunch was coming up, and we went to the vote… with 20+ white cards waving in the air (the symbol for a question, amendment, point of order, etc.)

I’m not sure what the implications of our restructure will be yet. I fear that we have pushed our monitoring agencies to the side and they will not have the voice they need to have to keep us from letting racism, tribalism, or sexism exclude people from the table. In the conversations about the loss of guaranteed appointment, I have heard from so many who fear that because they are a woman or black or don’t speak with english as a first language, that they are now in danger… not because they are ineffective, but because they do not feel like they have respect or are seen with dignity as a person who truly has a calling and gifts and graces. I have been blessed in my personal experience not to have to carry that kind of fear, but I have heard their pain and it made me remember how truly these (former) commissions have been… not only in the U.S. but also across the globe… and how much work there still is to do.

Last night, we refused to deal with an amendment to the constitution that would add “gender” and “age” to the list of things we are to be inclusive around. But we couldn’t imagine the future with kingdom eyes and for the third general conference in a row, we did not pass the amendment. We actually referred it back to the commission that brought it to the body. It made my heart hurt. I wanted us to stand up and take that simple stand and we refused to do it. And then we worshipped and were invited into a liturgy that spoke of welcoming woman and man and all different kinds of people and it just about broke me.

Someone posted on twitter today: At least in worship I feel like a United Methodist. And yet, in that service, I felt like we couldn’t truly speak those words. We as a body had failed to live into those words only an hour before. The only thing that saved me was the jazzy blues lament… Lord, have mercy. It was only because we lamented and cried out and (at least for me) begged for forgiveness that I could ride the wave to the next high point and look out over all that we are and all we try to do and get some perspective.

I was reminded this afternoon that although the waves are tumultuous this week and what we do may or may not have far reaching implications… on Sunday, I will be back in my local church. And I’ll be in the water again… only this time the waters of baptism as I bless, anoint, and name the grace of God that is already pouring into the life of little Joselin. And right there is where I belong. Speaking love and grace. Nurturing life and discipleship. Refusing to give in to the waves of doubt and fear and confusion. Holding steady, knowing Jesus is at my side.

questions/implications re: Paragraph 304.3 #gc2012

Posted on April 28, 201212 Comments

This afternoon, the Faith and Order legislative committee passed an amendment to paragraph 304.3 in the Book of Discipline that discusses qualifications for ordained ministry. The change actually removes language that would bar a “self-avowed practicing homosexual” and removes language that talks about from service and instead inserts this language:

I have a LOT of questions about this amendment that I hope are discussed before we decide to pass this change.

1) Does this amendment refer to only ONE marriage, or does it leave open the possibility for someone to be remarried. As it stands, it talks about a marriage between a man and a woman and makes no comment on the reality of divorce and remarriage, remarriage after death, etc. Clearing up that question is important. We have many re-married clergypersons in our midst and if we are already concerned about the retirement tsunami in the next 10 years – this impact might be HUGE.

2) while our standards previously called for “fidelity in marriage and celibacy in singleness” (and still retains that language earlier in 304.2) there were no particular stipulations re: appointment for those who have failed to live out the highest of these standards. Clergy who today have committed adultery may have sanctions, but we leave room for forgiveness, repentance, etc. This language seems to preclude that by now including unfaithfulness in marriage (as well as co-habitation) in the list of things that will make a person ineligible for commissioning, ordination, AND appointment.

3) Point two leads to deeper questions if the answer to my first question is “only one marriage.” With the new language that is listed here, are clergy persons who have divorced and how have remarried not eligible for appointment?

4) What about sexual conduct outside of marriage that happened in the past? What if I was a wild child as a younger adult and have since matured and changed my ways… does this amendment preclude them from being a candidate for ministry? What if a person co-habitated before marriage? Does this amendment apply retroactively to their behaviors and now as an ordained elder or deacon mean they will not be appointed?

5) **thanks to folks who talked with me in person and in the comments here** WHAT IS SEXUAL CONDUCT?! genital sex? kissing? smouldering eyes at one another over a table? Lord help our unmarried younger clergy (which we are trying to recruit) if they have to constantly fear something they are doing might be construed as sexual conduct.

I could go on and on and on about questions and implications of the wording of this amendment… the language needs to be CLEARER or else it might have implications on our current clergy that we have not for seen.

On the other hand, I’m guessing that someone who would respond to some of my questions might see that little word “may” in the fourth line from the bottom. It says that those persons “may not” be certified, ordained, appointed. It doesn’t say “shall not.” It says “may not.” And that means that Boards of Ordained Ministry and the Appointive Cabinet can exercise judgment and flexibility and can leave room for grace and compassion and forgiveness.

And that is because legislatively speaking, “may” language is permissive language. It has flexibility. It leaves the question up to the person who is exercising judgment, rather than simply following a set, prescribed rule.

And actually, for friends of the LGBT community… that means it is a step in the direction of inclusiveness. Previously the paragraph read: “The practice of homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. Therefore, self-avowed practicing homosexuals are not to be certified as candidates, ordained as ministers, or appointed to serve in the United Methodist Church.”

“Are not” is very different from “may not.”

Words matter.

truth and repentance #gc2012

Posted on April 28, 2012Leave a comment

Last night, our General Conference participated in an act of repentance toward healing relationships with Indigenous Peoples. I’m not entirely sure what I expected from the service of worship, but it was more somber and prophetic than I had imagined. There was less imagery and pageantry and more thoughtfulness and truth-telling. And the language used was much more radical than I had expected.

As people of this world, we have perpetuated crimes against our brothers and sisters. We have taken land, forced our perspectives, and destroyed cultures. We have not only committed sins of omission for not helping, but we have actively resisted the peace process and we have have gone into places as a violent force. We heard stories about the role of Methodists in slaughter in the Phillippines, in the Sand Creek Massacre, in the Trail of Tears, in Africa, in Norway, in places all across this globe where we have done damage in the name of Jesus Christ for our own personal and corporate benefit.

It was hard to hear. It was hard to relive. It was hard to dream that reconciliation is ever even possible, that damage could be reversed, that wounds could be healed.

And it was a powerful witness by our leadership that this was not a time OF reconciliation. This is merely the first step. We have to know what we have done and we have to feel pain about it. That pain leads us to repentance. That pain leads us to weep at what we have done.

In the service of worship, there were not celebrations or even folks there who we could apologize to. Rev. Tinker made it very clear that others are not at the table because we cannot just say we are sorry and move on. We are not at a point of reconciliation yet… but he is walking with us because he knows how difficult it is to repent and he is walking beside us in the process. That point was driven home again and again and it was important to hear.

Our call now is to be in repentance. To be continually repentant. To take a step forward every day. To work for harmony and balance in all that we do.

One step forward.

May we not take two steps back…

standing motions #gc2012

Posted on April 27, 20125 Comments

Two weeks ago, a young person in Northwest Iowa killed himself after being bullied. He had recently come out that he was gay to classmates, friends and family. Our students in Marengo are often vicious towards one another and hurt their peers every day with words and actions that are not kind or compassionate… especially in regards to their sexuality: perceived, lived, or otherwise.

When delegates stood yesterday and Mark Miller spoke to the feelings of hurt, betrayal, disappointment felt after an exercise in holy conferencing on human sexuality was poorly run, tears started streaming down my face. Because our schedule was off, because elections ran over, because the time was cut short, because there was not a set way for participating, because not every group had the same experiences, what could have been a conference wide discussion was disjointed, awkward, and unsuccessful.

I cannot be sure of the specifics that he was referring to. But I do know the hopes that many had for those conversations. The opportunity to speak the truth in love to one another. To pray together. To ask God to guide us together in spite of our differences into a common foundation for our later work in legislative committees. But because those conversations were not given the fullness of weight we intended to have, we short-changed ourselves, our conference, and the world. I don’t know what happened in specific groups, but as our brothers and sisters stood with Mark at the microphone – they spoke of a spirit of bullying… and said that no one else did anything about it.

Often, our greatest sin is the sin of omission. Of not speaking up. Of not defending our brothers and sisters. Of not being a spirit of encouragement. Of allowing others to dominate, hurt, demean, offend, and refusing to speak. We do it because we are afraid of becoming the target our selves. We do it because we are not sure what to say. We do it because we are lazy. We do it because we are complicit. We do it because we ourselves are broken.

As Mark and the others stood at the microphone, others in the plenary session began to stand, too. And in the bleachers and in the observer sections, a person here and a person there began to stand. And I could not keep sitting. I thought of that young man from Iowa. I thought of my youth. I thought of all of the times that I had not spoken up. I thought of twitter and facebook conversations that I had refused to comment on and stop from continuing. I cannot do that anymore. I have to stand up. I have to speak. I have to reach out in love.

And so when I left worship tonight, full of healing music and the power of prayer and a cleansed heart, and I saw brothers and sisters standing silently lining the exits, I had to stop and stand with them. To join hands with my brothers and sisters. To pray. To sing. To commit myself to act on behalf of those who are being shut out, talked about and not with, and bullied with word or deeds.