Lent – Page 3 – Salvaged Faith

Going All In

Posted on February 26, 2012Leave a comment

This morning, as we enter the season of Lent, we do so with the book of Romans at our side. As a church, we believe we have been called to reflect the light of God and much of that vision that we have affirmed comes right from these verses in chapter 12.

So this season, this time in the wilderness, will be a time of exploration for us. We will dive deep into this chapter and discover together just where and what God is calling us to.

Today, we start with verse one – which Zoe read for us a bit earlier. I want to share it with you again from the Message translation:

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. (MSG)

Take your everyday ordinary life…. Every moment, every second, every action… 100% and give it to God.

I want to share with you a prayer… and you tell me if you think this describes the kind of faith Paul invites us into:

Prayer of a Half-hearted Christian
I love thy church, O God;
Her walls before me stand;
But please excuse my absence, Lord;
This bed is simply grand
A charge to keep I have;
A God to glorify;
But Lord, don’t ask for cash from me;
The glory comes too high.
Am I a soldier of the cross,
A follower of the Lamb?
Yes Though I seldom pray or pay,
I still insist I am.
Must Jesus bear the cross alone,
And all the world go free?
No Others, Lord, should do their part,
But please don’t count on me.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him all creatures here below
Oh, loud my hymns of praise I bring,
Because it doesn’t cost to sing

We just finished singing, “I surrender all,” but so many of us… including myself… don’t really surrender all. We surrender some. We surrender on somedays. We surrender ourselves half-way… but not all.

In fact, many of us are like this dimmer switch up here. We waver in how much light we let out into the world. Our lights are not off completely – but neither are they shining at 100%, 100% of the time.

I did some research on how these dimmer switches work. Specifically the old style knob dimmer switches – where you turn the dial and the lights get brighter and dimmer.

It turns out what makes these switches work was something called a variable resistor. The resistor doesn’t conduct electricity well and in this design, the resistance is increased or decreased by moving the contact arm.

Right here, the arm is all the way on the right, and so it has to travel through all of that resistance to complete the circuit. As the charge works its way through, it loses energy, the voltage drops, and then the light is dimmer.

In this next image, the contact arm is at the top, and so there is about half of the resistor to go through and the lights are only halfway on.

In this image, there is very little actual resistor that the charge has to go through and all most all of the energy travels through the circuit and the light is fully bright.

(you can play with a flash version of these images here. Thank you to “How Stuff Works” for helping me with my sermon!!!)

Now… I find that these old styles of dimmer switches really help us to talk about our faith. You see, we put up all kinds of resistance in our lives. Just like the person in the prayer I read for you, we make excuses, we want to stay where we are, we think living out our faith costs too much. And on different days and different seasons, the amount of resistance we put up varies.

Some days we want to shine brightly and we are very open to God. We remove obstacles and barriers and let God’s love shine through us.

But some days, we throw every barrier in the world before God. I’m too tired. I’m too old. I’m too poor. I’m not going to listen, God.

What is amazing about these older styles of dimmer switches – is that no matter how much resistance we put up, and how dimly the light shines – it still takes a considerable amount of energy.

The input on the right side is at 100% power. That energy is being used to heat the resistor and then it is lost, dissipated, gone.

In the same way in our lives. God gives us everything. He is right there beside us, shining into our lives, calling us into his service. And every barrier we put up, every bit of resistance that we give, takes all of that God energy and it is used up, dissipated, gone.

When Paul calls us in Romans 12:1 to become a living sacrifice, he isn’t talking about dimmer switch faith… he is inviting us to throw out the resistor – and to let all of that amazing love and power and grace of God to shine through – 100%, 100% of the time.

In our weekly Lenten study this morning (and again on Tuesday night for those who want to join us) we are taking apart that verse piece by piece. But for this morning, I want to explore just what this means for our lives.

I think one of the best ways to understand this idea of going all in is to look at our gospel reading for this morning. As we walk with Jesus, we can see how he lived out this idea of a living sacrifice.

First of all, our passage starts with his baptism. As Jesus rises up out of the waters, the voice of God speaks – This is my son, the Beloved.

Before we can even begin to think about being a living sacrifice, we have to remember God’s mercy. We have to remember what God has already done for us.

God has created us, claimed us, named us, called us and saved us.

Through Jesus Christ, we become the sons and daughters of God and we too hear the voice calling out – You are my beloved. You are mine.

God’s love and grace and mercy are flowing into our lives at full power. It’s there without us having to say or do anything.

But we don’t stop with the baptism. We don’t stop with our declaration of faith.

No, as soon as Jesus hears that voice, the Spirit of God whisks him away into the wilderness. There, for forty days and forty nights, he is tempted, the wild beasts surround him and angels take care of him.

Jesus didn’t try to plan ahead. He didn’t back an emergency kit. He didn’t give excuses for why he couldn’t go. He went and completely and utterly put his life in God’s hands.

We, too, are called to dependence. We are called to place our lives, our time, our energy, our resources in the hands of God.

This time in the desert – this time of living and holy sacrifice – is us taking away all of the barriers, all of the resistance. We relinquish control… because we trust that God will take care of us.

You see, this time in the wilderness, this act of living sacrifice ONLY works if we believe the first part…. That God loves us and forgives us and gives us life.

And then, after he had experienced absolute dependence upon God and let all of his temptations and resistance go, Jesus came out of the wilderness and went straight to work.

Placing our lives in God’s hands mean that all of that power is flowing directly through us… and we can’t help but shine.

Our worship and our service and our ministry are one and the same thing. In every moment of every day, we are responsive to where God wants us to go. We serve him. We let him shine through our hearts.

As Lent begins, we are invited to walk with Jesus. We are invited to enter the wilderness, knowing and trusting that the power of God is 100% behind us. And we are called to let shine.

Give up any resistance you might have in your life. Because of the amazing things that God has done for you already – trust him. Know that he will take care of you. Let go of your worries and your resistance and let him have your life. Then your light will shine brightly for all the world to see, 100%, 100% of the time

Feasting, not fasting…

Posted on February 23, 2012Leave a comment

Mark’s gospel is known for its haste. Jesus is here and then there and everything is so urgent and busy. We spent four weeks in Epiphany just in chapter one because everything happens in such a short span of time. Life is all crammed in and there is no time for details.

That could also describe my entry into the Lenten season. In a whirlwind of activity and meetings and work and hospital visits and writing, there wasn’t time to breathe! I think on Ash Wednesday I actually might have had two pots of coffee just to get me through. Go, go, go. Rush, rush, rush.

But then, we got to worship. Everything was finally set and we were sharing in familiar liturgy, age old hymns, quiet moments of reflection and confession and challenge.

We had 27 people in worship that evening… And while that might not sound like a lot, it was double what we had any other year I’ve been around. As people began to trickle in, as they came forward and I placed those ashes on each of their foreheads, as we broke the bread and shared the cup, it felt like home. A family gathered to remember we are human. A family gathered to say that we were sorry. A family gathered to start putting our lives back together… Together.

We always have a meal after Wednesday worship and before youth group starts, so we told folks to bring a dish to share. We feasted together on Ash Wednesday, and it never felt more right. Marked with the ashes, we knew we were mortal. We knew we had fallen short. But we also couldn’t stay there because the good news of God was also our story that night.

I sat with a couple who ocasionally attend our church – when they aren’t off being caregivers for aging parents. We shared stories. We talked about our hopes for the young people all around us. And they shared with me that even in these last few months, something is happening in our church. God is moving and the excitement and eagerness is building.

I learned two things last night.

1) all that rushing and moving was worth it. There is urgency in what we are doing because it is important and there is not a moment to waste

2) but we also have to stop and remember why. We have to slow our hearts and really listen.

Ash Wednesday has always had such a somber and holy and serious personality in my practice and theology. It was a day of darkness and despair, wailing and pleading.

But last night, when I stopped to look at all of us gathered around those tables in fellowship, I realized just how joyous Lent can be.

We trust in a God who brings light out of darkness, life out of death, strengh from weakness. I know, liturgically we have a few weeks to sit in our repentance… But God is good… All the time.

So pass the pie, and the baked beans, and the pistacio salad… Happy Lent!

GC01: Call to Action Study – Part 1

Posted on February 13, 20122 Comments

I am leading my congregation through the Council of Bishop’s study guide on the Call to Action.

We started last week with sections 1-3 and an overview of how the United Methodist Church is actually set up.

It was important for me to bring this big picture and important discussion to my rural county seat congregation. It was important to hear what they are thinking, hoping for, and what they, in fact, simply don’t care about. None of what we decide at General Conference will make any difference if the folks who make up our church have no idea what is going on and no ownership of the process.

So to start with, here are some of their responses to the questions the study guide raises:

What do you experience in the world and the church that calls for urgent action? Declining membership, need to have young people and kids in the church, political unrest – especially in the Middle East, and to be the hands and feet of Christ to a hurting world.
What is the role of the congregation in helping United Methodists practice personal piety and the means of grace? attending local worship, bible study, to pass on the word about opportunities to grow, a reminisence about the song “I Surrender All”; the conference? education opportunities, district leadership events, retreats, resources and support (financial and persons), connection points to ministries we do together; the denomination? we hear about the controversial things that GC discusses and how they take a stand on issues of justice, they give us rules and guidelines for how to live, resources and support, Upper Room
What church leader do you know today who has been a turnaround leader and what did they do? They talked about how in our local church people ARE stepping up to lead. They were a bit dismayed by the piece in the study guide that said “the next anticipated significant decline is in the field of mission giving and mission engagement.” This is an area where they have seen HUGE growth as a congregation because we are taking risks and stepping up. They credit me with this because I have brought some energy and have been willing to take risks, but it also has to do with laity taking up the reins on those projects. They also mentioned that we are not afraid to show the community we are in it for the long haul and to dedicate ourselves to projects. Someone asked what would happen if we worshipped outside in the park for a whole month during the summer and built relationships with folks who were unchurched – great question and one we are going to look into! The conversation drifted to how to engage younger folks. Someone asked if there was a way to encourage youth to give back – musically, in worship, etc. so that they could get to know them better. While I think there are, I also lead into the next question…
What should we sacrifice to embrace God’s unfolding mission for the church? I asked what they could sacrifice to in turn reach out to the youth? joining them for dinner on Wednesdays? going to their events outside of church? We talked about sacrificing our comfort with worshipping inside the church in order to meet people out in the community.

Overall, they are grateful for the opportunity to think about these things and really looking forward to continuing on to the second half next week.

One of the frustrations that I had with the first part of the study guide is the focus on “turning around” the sinking ship. While sections 1 and 2 call for deeper discipleship and re-claiming our mission as the United Methodist Church, section 3 shifted the focus to what they see the biggest problem is: decline in people and money. Down-ward sloping numbers… that is what the Call to Action is all about. It is not framed in terms of the true missional need in our communities – ie: the number of people around us who don’t know Christ. It is not framed in terms of the great opportunities for ministry around us. No, the urgent call is in direct response to decline.

: photo by: Svilen Milev

I actually think it is kind of trivializing to compare our reductions in people and dollars with the “stiff winds of oppression” that Esther and Mordecai were confronted with facing the genocide of their people. The “stiff winds” of indifference and fatigue and a lost sense of purpose are NOT the same as massacre.

Yes, we need some forward-thinking leadership.

Yes, we need adaptability.

Yes, we need courage.

And yes, we need to make sacrifices and take risks in the process.

I know that the declining numbers are not the problem in themselves, but merely symptoms of larger “spiritual and systemic issues.” But I wish that this study guide and in fact, the Call to Action in general, would talk more about those larger spirtual and systemic issues and less about the numbers. (if any of you can point me to a resource that does address what CTA thinks those larger spiritual/systemic issues are… please tell me!)

Instead, we are left with the impression that the problem is that people aren’t coming to church and that people aren’t coming to worship and that people aren’t giving enough. And at least my congregation doesn’t know what it is going to take to change that. They can’t necessarily give more. They keep asking their neighbors and friends to come and they won’t. They are working on building relationships and reaching outside of the walls of our church and my prayer is that as they do that… as they are the hands and feet of Christ in this world… that people will come to know Jesus through them and will find a place within our church family.

Preparing for our Lenten study on Romans 12 (our vision scripture) I came across Chip Ingram’s work on the text. In this segment, he answers the question: if God doesn’t measure faith by activities, why do people and churches?

I think it’s a good question. We are called to make disciples. And I suppose that if we are making something, we want to see numerical growth. But I understand discipleship as a process. A process that requires inward growth, deep growth, lifelong growth. If I can take the 50 people who regularly attend my church each week and spend my whole life working with them and at the end of that time those fifty people have learned to follow Jesus more closely, to surrender their lives to him, to serve others through him, and have planted seeds in the lives of others, have I done my job? I tend to think so… but I’m not sure that CtA would agree I have been very effective.

Salt and Light

Posted on March 20, 2011Leave a comment

This morning, we seem an awfully long ways from the Kingdom of God.

Yesterday – eight years to the day since we sent forces to Iraq, we began bombing in Libya.

Unrest in Bahrain, Yemen, and other countries in the middle east is being showed on our airwaves.

Earthquakes.

Tsunamis

Nuclear reactors having problems.

Where is the Kingdom of God?!

It doesn’t matter if they are man-made problems, or natural disasters… it is hard to look outside and not tremble a little.

So, what do we do on a morning like this?

What is the church’s role?

This morning we look at the second section of Matthew’s Sermon on the Mount.

In “The Message” translation, Eugene Peterson, starts off these verses with these words:

Let me tell you why you are here…

You see, this whole sermon is full of instructions for the people of God. It reminds us of the attitudes we are supposed to carry with us into the world, like Charlotte shared with us last week. And it tells us what we are supposed to do – how we are supposed to live.

Today’s passage is all about our witness in the world.

We are here – the church is here – to season this world… to be salt.

I know that some of us here can’t always have salt, because of dietary restrictions, and perhaps you know better than all the rest of us about how useful salt is!

When you sprinkle salt on watermelon or on tomatoes – the flavor of those fruits become brighter and more crisp! When salt is added to soup, it becomes rich and deep. When we sprinkle salt onto roasted vegetables, or French fries…. Mmmm…

Salt takes what is already there and it brings out the flavors. It helps us to taste what was hidden.

That is our job as the church. We are supposed to point to the hidden work of God in this world and bring it out. We are supposed to help the world see and taste and experience God – even though they can’t always see him.

So, with all of the difficult and troubling things happening in our world today – how can we, as the church, help people to experience God?

First, we can point to the good news in each of these situations. We can lift up the stories of hope and life.

This morning, for example, two people were pulled out of the rubble in Japan. An 80 year old woman and her 16 year old grandson had been trapped under her house for nine days following the earthquake and tsunami. According to CNN, the boy had crawled through portions of the rubble and made it on to the roof where rescuers finally saw him.

Nine days they had been trapped… but they survived. That is a story of life in the midst of destruction. And remembering those stories, pointing to those stories, telling those stories to our friends and our neighbors help us to remember that there is hope even in desperate situations. And as we tell that story, we can share the source of our hope – Jesus Christ.

Second, salt only works if it is actually being used… if it makes contact with its food… and so as people of faith, we need to be out in the world, helping folks, praying with them, listening to their stories.

In Japan, United Methodists had eight missionaries, six full-time mission volunteers and several retired missionaries on the ground when the earthquake first struck. But our United Methodist Committee on Relief also was quick to the scene to provide health kits, food, shelter and other necessities. The Wesley Center, affiliated with the United Methodist Women, is housing fifty displaced people in its guest rooms and meeting rooms.

All of that on the ground work there is possible only because we take seriously our call to be out in the world.

But it doesn’t just happen half way across the world through the work of missionaries. It also happens in our backyard. Every time you attend a youth sporting event or concert… Every time you mow your neighbors lawn, every time you sit down and have coffee with someone in town, you are like salt, bringing out the God flavor in this community. You are letting people know they are important, that they matter, and that you – and God – are there.

Jesus continues on in his sermon by putting this message another way – you are here in this world to be light – to help the world see God. This faith of ours is not a secret to be kept locked up – its meant to be made public – its meant to shine out wide and far.

So the third thing we need to do is to point to God not just in our personal and private relationships, but in public as well.

We can’t keep the good news hidden away. We can’t keep the power of God’s transformative love under a basket. We have to let it shine.

Sometimes, that light shines in the darkness and we help the world to see where people are broken and hurting. When we do this, we are public prophets, reminding people of God’s intention for our lives together.

A deacon in our United Methodist Church has heard this calling and uses music to raise awareness about the realities of human trafficking and slavery in our modern times. Carl Thomas Gladstone’s Abolitionist Hymnal helps to shed light on some very dark realities in our world. Through music, the light of Christ is shining so that others might be moved to action.

Sometimes, we are bring words of hope and comfort on a much larger scale, like when people gather together in a prayer vigil – their candles lighting up the darkness.

And sometimes that happens in political advocacy as well. This week, Utah passed some rather startling immigration reform. Although Utah is a conservative state, they have passed a law that creates a new guest-worker program. Anyone who has worked in Utah and their immediate family can receive documents if they pass a background check and pay a fine for entering the country illegally. But this law would never have passed if the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints did not speak up. There are a large number of mormons in Utah, and as they have done missions work, they believed there was another way to respond to strangers and foreigners in our midst. Another way that was biblical and based in love. As one state senator said – “If the church had been silent, the bill wouldn’t have passed.”

Protesting, bumper stickers, the clothes you wear, the places you visit, the types of people you eat with in public… all of these things tell the world something about you… AND the God who you claim to follow.

Lastly, this whole message about salt and light is a reminder that we need to stand together as people of faith and be a witness in this world.

A few Sundays ago, we had a translation lesson. I reminded all of you about how poorly the English language handles second person plural words.

Well, that same problem comes up again today in the sermon on the mount.

Jesus isn’t just talking to you… or you… or you. Jesus is talking to all of us together.

Ya’ll are the salt of the earth. Ya’ll are the light of the world.

You together, all of you, working with one another, standing with one another, Ya’ll are my witness.

Whether it is on the streets of Libya or the countrysides in Japan, the alleys in Marengo or the farmland by Kostza… we are called to be salt and light. We are called to point to God.

It doesn’t matter if everything in the world is alright or everything is falling to pieces… that is our calling.

To pray, to work, to serve, to love, to listen, to speak… out there… in the world… on behalf of God.

May we be salt. May we be light.

Amen.

born this way

Posted on March 17, 20111 Comment

A good friend helped me to find a post by Brian Kirk called “Lady Gaga, Lent, Teens, and Original Sin.” It is a good read, but there are a few tweaks that I might have made to his argument.

In his article, Kirk shows how Lady Gaga’s latest song “Born This Way,” helps teenagers to claim their own place, their identity, in a world that sometimes tells them they have no value. He connects this message with the Jesus that loves the unloveable and who reaches out to those others have deemed unworthy.

Kirk also spends a bit of time thinking about the counter for this argument, “what about sin?” Kirk responds by talking about while Lent has traditionally been a time in which we confess all that is wrong with us and look to Jesus for salvation, there are some that don’t hold that to be true. He writes:

For those of us who do not literalize the story of Adam and Eve, there is no need to literalize the Christian interpretation of Genesis in which humankind fell from a perfect creation into an imperfect one and thus had to wait, mired in sin, until a savior could come and pay our ransom. This theological perspective that sees all persons as born into sin is not persuasive for those Christians who acknowledge that we now live on this side of Darwin.

I read Kirk’s response as: “what sin?”

I may not read the story of Adam and Eve literally, but I do recognize that this world we are born into is far from perfect. The institutions we inhabit are tinged with sin. The choices we make from the very beginning lead us into temptation. While I might not ever consider an infant to be riddled with original sin that taints their very existence, sin is an ever present reality that surrounds us. If there were no sin, there would be no violence, no war, no destruction, no oppression, no bullying, no shame, no guilt, no hate…

We each have a personal role and responsibility in the systems of sin that surround us. From the things we purchase, to the food we eat, to the ways we treat one another, we participate in sin. Sometimes that sin is a conscious rebellion and turning away from God and neighbor… other times it is subtle, hidden, and ignorant.

No matter how much we might ignore sin, it has consequences in our lives. When we act recklessly, we hurt people. When we ignore the cries of the needy, they suffer. When we waste and pollute, our environment is damaged. The cup of coffee I purchased this morning has implications and consequences from people I have never met and will never see. The length of time I spend in the shower this morning has financial, social, environmental implications. Sin is real. Consequences are real. We were born this way, too.

The song calls us to remember:

I’m beautiful in my way
‘Cause God makes no mistakes
I’m on the right track baby
I was born this way
Don’t hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you’re set
I’m on the right track baby
I was born this way

The real question is how we hold these two things together.

How do hold together the fact that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14) with the reality that we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23)?

I recently began reading N.T. Wright’s After You Believe: Why Christian Character Matters. He talks about the process of developing virtue in our lives by the thousands of choices and decisions we make in our lifetimes. In the process of doing so, he talks not only about following the rules, but also following our hearts.

This is the same divide that I see between these passages in Psalms and Romans. If I am wonderfully made, if God loves me, then I can do what I want and follow my heart. But if I am sinful, then I need rules to tell me right from wrong and to save me.

Wright reminds us we need both. We need to form our character through the “rules” and to hold one another accountable to what is good. But we also need to let who we have been created to be shine through… not the “me” that does whatever the hell I want, but the “me” God intends me to be – loving, compassionate, serving one another, humble. The reality is, that “me” is inside of us. We were born to perfectly love God and serve our neighbors. God didn’t make any mistakes in doing this. But we get off track. We let the world tell us who we should be, instead of our creator. We turn our backs on that reality. We sin. Christ takes all of those missteps, all of the sin inherent in our structures, the reality of evil, death, destruction, greed, power… he takes it ALL onto the cross, he dies, and he takes it all down with him. In Christ, we are finally free from all that which holds us back, from all that prevents us from being who we were truly created to be.

Kirk gets so caught up in sacrifical atonement that he forgets there are other metaphors for the work of Christ on the cross. Christ liberates our true selves from all that prevents us from being Godly. Christ shows us how we were supposed to live our lives, according to Abelard. Jesus is also the Cosmic Christ who transforms all of creation.

This time of Lent reminds me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and that I have fallen short of the glory of God that lives inside of me. It challenges me to claim the work of Christ in my life and to be better, to grow, to allow God’s grace to continue to transform me.

Lady Gaga’s lyrics say: I was born this way hey! I’m on the right track baby.

Maybe we should take that as a question. Who were you born to be? And are you on the right track? Are you living the way God intended? And if not, how do you get back there?

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. No matter how it is that you were made – black, white, outcast, bullied, gay, straight, male, female, rich, poor – you were fearfully and wonderfully made. Are you on the right track?

Come Out the Wilderness

Posted on March 10, 20116 Comments

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As we started this journey of Lent yesterday with Matthew, we entered the place of wilderness and watched as Jesus wrestled verbally with the devil. It was a rich dialogue of temptation and power and scripture… with some magical teleportation thrown in there for good measure. But as Keith Mcilwain reminds us, the devil is not all pitchforks and fireworks. (For yesterday’s Lenten Blog Tour reflection click here)

Today, though, we find ourselves in the gospel of Mark. He is terse with his words. He is urgent. In less verses than sum up the verbal banter of yesterday, we get Jesus’ baptism, the wilderness and the first description of his ministry.

About that time, Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee, and John baptized him in the Jordan River. While he was coming up out of the water, Jesus saw heaven splitting open and the Spirit, like a dove, coming down on him. And there was a voice from heaven: “ You are my Son, whom I dearly love; in you I find happiness. ”

At once the Spirit forced Jesus out into the wilderness. He was in the wilderness for forty days, tempted by Satan. He was among the wild animals, and the angels took care of him.

After John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee announcing God’s good news, saying, “ Now is the time! Here comes God’s kingdom! Change your hearts and lives, and trust this good news! ” (Mark 1:9-15, Common English Bible)

I find myself caught up in a whirlwind when I read Mark. I find him taking me places faster than I am prepared to go. I am still back in the wilderness… heck, it’s only the second day of Lent – I’m barely IN the wilderness!And here we go rushing back into the world again?My own life has been so chaotic lately, that to spend time with this hurried verion of the gospel exhausts me. And yet, here I sit, with this passage assigned.

(deep breath)

The wilderness keeps calling out to me.

And in Mark’s text, the wilderness was somewhere Jesus was forced to go.

Other translations have used words like “sent,” “impelled,” “pushed,” “drove.”

But “forced” feels different. Just because you are sent doesn’t mean you have to go. You chose to obey. To be impelled or driven gives me the sense that there is something that urges you on, be it internal or external, and your own will aligns itself with that push. But to be forced… it means I don’t want to do something but I don’t have a choice.

Did Jesus want to be in the wilderness?

Did he want to spend forty days wrestling with Satan? Sure, there were angels watching out over him, but it was also the wilderness! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

I get the sense that any rational person wouldn’t choose this situation. Jesus didn’t want to be there, but he had to do it. He had to spend this time apart. He had to get ready for what was to come. Jesus had to make sure his head and heart and body were aligned before his ministry started. It was going to be a rough journey and he was going to be working with some knuckleheads of disciples… not to mention the cross that would loom before him.

He had to be forced to take this time apart, because after the wilderness, there was a job to do.

I sometimes have to force myself into the wilderness of Lent, too.

I’m really too busy to spend any extra time in prayer and fasting and study… I’ve got a job to do. I have important ministry that takes place.

But when I force myself to stop… when I hand a piece of my life over to God for a while… I find that all those priorities re-align. I suddenly remember it’s not about me.

Maybe it is a good thing that before we can even blink Mark has led us through the wilderness and back out again into ministry.

When I stop to think about it, I am comforted by the fact that the wilderness is not forever. It is not something we do just for the sake of doing it. We don’t even spend time in the wilderness to please God… as our passage reminds us, Jesus has already done that before the time “out there” has begun.

This time apart gets us ready to come back out of the wilderness.

I have recently re-discovered that old song, “Come Out the Wilderness.” Unlike some versions that are jubilant, I prefer this rendition that is minor and plaintive.

It reminds me that I’m going to come out of this time in the wilderness.

It reminds me that sometimes the wilderness will make us want to weep… or pray… or shout.

It reminds me that most importantly… when we come out the wilderness, we do so leaning on the Lord.

My ministry is not about me. It is about proclaiming something that is far greater than I will ever be. I am only one small part of a much bigger body. Even Christ when he came out the wilderness didn’t point to himself, but to God’s kingdom that was coming our way.

We sometimes have to force ourselves to spend time in the wilderness to get our heads and hearts screwed on straight. We have to force ourselves into this time of discipline, this time of waiting, this time of dependence upon God and God’s mercy, so that when we come out the wilderness, we will remember it’s not about us.

where two or more are gathered

Posted on February 18, 20101 Comment

Even though our congregation is small, I try to have two different services for Ash Wednesday. We have an older congregation and it is still wintery outside, so if we only had an evening service – many of our faithful wouldn’t venture out in the dark. But we also have a number of people who work and so if we only had a noon service, they would be missing out as well.

We had a pretty good turnout for our noon service. There were some technical difficulties as we tried to worship and sing without our usual pianst – but as someone said – that’s what makes it special!

I had all of the kinks worked out by the time our 6pm service rolled around. I had the candles lit and the words of repentance and transformation and discipline scrolling across the screen and music for contemplation playing in the background. I was waiting for the people to come.

And only one came.

I stood awkwardly near the back doors and let the opening sequence cycle through again. Maybe others are just late?… should we just go home?… ugh, singing with just the two of us isn’t going to work very well… alright, here we go!

“Well, J, it’s just you and me brother”

We read responsively the lyrics to the opening hymn and we heard the scripture proclaimed. We talked about what the ashes signify and spent time together, though silently in our prayer of confession. We marked one another with the sign of the cross. We dustied our foreheads to remind ourselves that we are mortal, we are brittle as year old palm branches, and we need God. We sat together going back and forth with joys and concerns and held hands as we prayed. We talked about the peace that we had found and the peace that we are taking with us into the world for others.

That worship wasn’t at all what I had expected it to be. But it reminded me that worship is an acting out of relationship. Our relationship to God, our relationship to one another, our relationship to the world. In our intimate encounters with one another, we can worship our maker. We can praise our Lord. We can repent of our sins. We can recieve forgiveness. We can offer back a part of ourselves. We can hear the words of grace and gospel. We can honor God. We can send one another forth.

Wherever two or more are gathered in my name… says the Lord. My prayer for Lent is that I make room for more of those holy and intimite experiences of relationship.

That experience last night has caused me to think much differently about my practices for this entire season, and so one of the things I’m giving up is the hours I spend in front of the television set, alone, wasting time. I’m allowing myself to watch when I exercise – b/c it’s what keeps me motivated, and if my husband wants to watch one of our favorite shows with me – because it is something the draws us close and we can have conversation about. But no more mindless hours in front of the t.v. set. I’m seeking out relationships with people and relationships with ideas and my relationship with God through conversation and game nights with others, and through dedicating myself to read some of those “God” books that have been sitting on my shelf for a while now and spending time in prayer and reflection around them.

Passion Sunday

Posted on April 5, 2009Leave a comment

For about two and a half weeks now, I have been working on and reworking and tweaking our Passion Sunday worship. Last year, our format was pretty much a lessons and hymns service – where we read the scriptures and sang songs in between chunks of the reading.

I’m always torn about whether or not to really focus on Palm Sunday or to span the gammit and do the whole Passion Sunday reading. Knowing my congregation, probably only 15% of those who regularly attend worship will be at our Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services. And that is only 5% of the whole church. So if we didn’t hear the Passion story on the Sunday before Easter, the depth of the journey, the betrayal and the sacrifice would go unnoticed. And Easter just isn’t Easter if you haven’t journeyed through the cross.

But how do you tell the whole story on a Sunday morning? I’ve been reading a lot of other pastor’s litanies, and how they have put together worship and used some ideas from here and some ideas from there. The main structure that has fed into the service we will be doing tomorrow is a responsive singing of “Were You There.” The verses are not the typical ones, but each one ties into the readings that have preceded it.

What I did end up doing however, was take each of the scripture readings and put any spoken words into particular people’s voices. There is a narrator, but then there will be someone speaking the words of Jesus, of Peter, of the Disciples, of the Crowd, of Pilate, of Judas, and of Caiaphas. And then as I continued to wrestle with the text, each of those voices tell a bit of their own story and give some context to the message as we hear again the story of Christ.

I’m pretty happy with the final script, and I’m putting it all in God’s hands for tomorrow morning – praying that the spirit will be in our reading, and will help everyone present understand the Journey Through the Cross.