lgbt – Salvaged Faith

GC2019: Committee On Reference

Posted on January 17, 20191 Comment

This past weekend, I was part of the meeting of the Committee on Reference for the General Conference.

Typically, our work focuses on assigning (or referring) petitions and legislation to various committees of the General Conference. But we were tasked with a new role in light of this special called General Conference.

As Paragraph 14 of our Constitution states: “the purpose of such a special session shall be stated in the call, and only such business shall be transacted as is in harmony with the purpose stated in such call unless the General Conference by a two-thirds vote shall determine that other business may be transacted.”

When our Bishops issued the initial call, it was “limited to receiving and acting upon a report from the Council of Bishops based on the recommendations of the Commission on a Way Forward.” And so, they asked our Judicial Council (basically our Supreme Court) – does that mean that we will ONLY discuss the report… or can others submit legislation, too?

The Judicial Council ruled that “petitions which are in harmony with any business which may be proposed in the Bishops’ Report are allowed.” And it would be up to the committees of General Conference to determine this. That committee – Committee on Reference.

Since then, to help with utter clarity, the call was amended so that the report is not the Bishops’ report… but the COWF report. So… our Committee on Reference was tasked with evaluating which, if any, of the 98 valid petitions submitted by any group or individual were “in harmony” with the business proposed in the COWF Report.

You can read the official report of our actions here and here.

Here are some of my general take-aways from our gathering. Our committee represents every central conference and every jurisdiction. We worked thoughtfully, carefully, and with a great spirit of openness. Every person set aside their own preferences to create criteria we thought were in line with the call for the conference. Knowing it was an entirely subjective process, I think the clarity of our criteria and the consensus around those criteria was powerful.
It was clear early on that anything having to do with bishops was seen as out of harmony… I think owing to the reality that globally we have very different understandings of the episcopacy. While the accountability piece is important for traditionalists, there was also a strong sense that those petitions were about changing the episcopacy and therefore not related to what we are there to do.

There were other petitions that would also have changed dynamics around the General Conference’s ability to make changes or create charges, or how we legislate. Those were also out of harmony for our more limited call. Same with a petition that would have impacted the judicial council.

What remains are petitions that are seen to directly relate to the inclusion or exclusion of LGBT persons (which is language that came out of the COWF as they narrowed their focus from human sexuality more broadly)… AND/OR petitions that we believe were designed to modify, correct, perfect the three COWF plans. What remains are plans that could essentially be seen as amendments or additions to the three plans.

We were not willing to entertain the possibility that dissolution was even remotely “in harmony” with the call of our special conference.

I think that is really helpful as we narrow our focus. As a delegate, I feel like we don’t have thirty plans to choose from… we have three… with a whole bunch of possible amendments to them. Even the Simple Plan or Fully Inclusive Plan could be seen as essentially amendments to the One Church Plan in that they remove the same things, but in a different way. The other more exclusive amendments to those paragraphs could be seen as amendments of the Traditionalist Plan. The “gracious exit” or “trust clause” petitions were seen as possible amendments to ANY plan – even though all of the plans didn’t include them, because one did, it was seen as something that could be valid for any/all.

THAT SAID… what our committee was NOT supposed to do was to think about the constitutionality of any petition. Some of what has been allowed through is clearly unconstitutional based upon what the Judicial Council has already ruled. It will be up to the General Conference to determine either to vote it down or to change it so that it is constitutional.

paying attention

Posted on June 25, 2015Leave a comment

Today, in my devotional reading this thought from The Spiritual Life struck me:

To be human is to pray… prayer is the disciplined dedication to paying attention.

As I sit here and try to write this morning, I must admit I am distracted.

Distracted by the remnants of water in our basement (our backup sump pump failed to switch on, leaving some standing water in the unfinished areas).

Distracted by the squirrels and birds fighting with one another on the fence.

Distracted by the pings from Facebook because I left the tab open in my browser.

Distracted by the waiting and anticipation for a SCOTUS decision.

Distracted by the garbage trucks making their way up and down the streets in my neighborhood.

What if instead of being distracted, I focused on paying attention in prayer.

Gracious God, be with my husband and I and help us to be patient and wise as we clean up the water and as he fixes the pump.

Holy One, thank you for the creatures of this world who play and bring joy to our lives.

Blessed Redeemer, be with my friends and family and acquaintances. Help them to know your grace and mercy. Be with them in their struggles.

God of Grace, you teach us that love is patient and kind. You teach us that love is sacrificial. You teach us that your love has no boundaries. Be with us today as so many of us wait and dream of a nation that recognizes the many kinds of love and families that bring joy and support and stability and hope and companionship to our lives.

Almighty Savior, be with those who serve us today. And help each of us to think carefully about the waste in our lives. Help us to treat this world and its possessions with respect. Help us be less wasteful with the precious gifts we have been given. Help us to focus more on relationships and less on things. Forgive us for our reckless use of resources others are dying without.

Westerhoff and Eusden write in The Spiritual life that “unless our identity is hid in God we will never know who we are or what we are to do.” It is when we pay attention, maybe especially to the things that distract us, that we discover God’s longing for our lives, we hear the still small voice calling us to a transformed life, and we see our neighbors through new lenses. Prayer is the foundation of our faith, the beginning of change, the roots of justice, and the core of our belief.

a billion organisms and the Body of Christ #iaumc15

Posted on June 8, 2015Leave a comment

Did you know that soil is incredibly diverse and complex? It might look like simple dirt, but one handful contains more living organisms than there are people on the planet.

And every part of the soil, every organism has a part to play. They affect chemical and physical properties. There are a billion bacteria in one gram of fertile soil that consume what is produced by green plants… there are fungi that decompose materials, there are soil animals that consume and decompose and feed on one another and leave channels in the soil that increases infiltration of minerals and water and oxygen.

And all of these living organisms live off of and feed off of one another. It is their interaction that makes soil healthy and thriving and good.

In his book, The Third Plate, Dan Barber describes the “war” that is going on in the soil we walk upon. It is a class system where:

Jack pointed to the soil. “There’s a war going on in there…”

first-level consumers (microbes), the most abundant and miniscule members of the community, break down large fragments of organic material into smaller residues; secondary consumers (protozoa, for example) feed on the primary consumers or their waste; and then third-level consumers (like centipedes, ants, and beetles) eat the secondaries. The more Jack explained it, the more it started to sound like a fraught, complex community…

Fred Magdoff, likened the process to a system of checks and balances. “To me there is real beauty in how it works,” he said. “When there is sufficient and varied food for the organisms, they do what comes naturally, ‘making a living’ by feeding on the food sources that evolution provided… What you have is a thriving, complex community of organisms.”

I have been thinking about the immense complexity of dirt and what it means for us as the church.

We have been inundated with a move towards “simple church” and we talk so much about unity and yet I wonder what would happen if instead we embraced the incredibly complex, diverse, thriving nature of soil as a metaphor of our life together.

It is actually what we find in the Body of Christ as described by Paul in 1 Corinthians 12. We have feet and hands and eyes and hearts and livers and spleens. We all play a part. We might look at others and think, “I don’t need you,” but Paul says we are wrong.

In our Iowa Annual Conference right now, we are divided. We are different. We don’t read scriptures the same. We feel differently about human sexuality. We aren’t sure what we should do about those folks on the margins, our brothers and sisters, who are gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender or still discovering. Underneath it all is a different understanding of how we understand the scriptures.

And sometimes, that diversity feels like a war. It feels like the battle Jack described the soil beneath us. We are chewing each other up and spitting each other out. And I hate the way my brothers and sisters are hurt and damaged by comments that cut to the core of their very being. Especially as I watch them walk away from the Body of Christ.

When you focus on the conflict that diversity creates, like Jack did, you want to strip out everything that is different to protect yourself and others. We want simple things. We want unity, which means, we want to all be the same.

But to be healthy, we need diversity. We need difference. We need checks and balances. We need to remind each other of the importance of the bible and scripture and justice and mercy and grace and love. It comes from both sides. We need to listen. We need to hold one another accountable. We also need to challenge one another. We need to say things that are difficult to hear. We need to be willing to speak the truth in love.

And together, the interaction of all of our different parts creates something beautiful and mysterious and powerful.

Friends, we might look like United Methodists, but a little deeper under the cover of our identity, we are incredibly complicated. We are men and women, people of all sorts of shades of skin, languages, eye colors, theological perspectives, ideas, gifts, skills, ages…

I need you. All of you. And together, God wants us to be amazing.

The Side of the Road

Posted on November 20, 2013Leave a comment

I had an experience last week that deeply shook me.

My dad asked me to come help him move farm equipment as he moved from one set of fields to another for harvest. In essence, I was a chauffeur and would follow the tractor or combine and then take him back to the farm to pick up another.

As we came around a corner on the quiet gravel road, we discovered a person lying on the edge of the road in the ditch.

It all happened so fast. We stopped the car and leapt out and into action. 911 was dialed. We assisted the person the best we could – the wind whipping around us, the cold seeping in, the reality that we really had no unique skills to care for someone in a medical emergency causing anxiety and yet we were there and help was on its way.

After the emergency responders arrived and the statements had been made, and we breathed a little bit deeper, my dad and I made our way back to my car… which I then discovered was still running. We had been so quick to rush into helping, I forgot to turn off the car.

I remember later that day, after I had time to process what had happened, feeling incredibly angry. Someone had mentioned in passing the idea of being a “Good Samaritan” and all I could think about was how I didn’t have a choice. Of course we were going to stop. Anyone who could have passed by and kept going… well, that’s where the anger came in. Having experienced a person in need on the side of the road, I cannot understand how a pastor or religious leader could have crossed to the other side and not stopped to help.

Luke 10: 25 A legal expert stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he said, “what must I do to gain eternal life?”

26 Jesus replied, “What is written in the Law? How do you interpret it?”

27 He responded, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.”[a]

28 Jesus said to him, “You have answered correctly. Do this and you will live.”

29 But the legal expert wanted to prove that he was right, so he said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

30 Jesus replied, “A man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho. He encountered thieves, who stripped him naked, beat him up, and left him near death. 31 Now it just so happened that a priest was also going down the same road. When he saw the injured man, he crossed over to the other side of the road and went on his way. 32 Likewise, a Levite came by that spot, saw the injured man, and crossed over to the other side of the road and went on his way. 33 A Samaritan, who was on a journey, came to where the man was. But when he saw him, he was moved with compassion.34 The Samaritan went to him and bandaged his wounds, tending them with oil and wine. Then he placed the wounded man on his own donkey, took him to an inn, and took care of him. 35 The next day, he took two full days’ worth of wages and gave them to the innkeeper. He said, ‘Take care of him, and when I return, I will pay you back for any additional costs.’ 36 What do you think? Which one of these three was a neighbor to the man who encountered thieves?”

37 Then the legal expert said, “The one who demonstrated mercy toward him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

Part of me wants to take that priest and Levite by the shoulders and look straight into their eyes and demand to know why on earth they refused to stop. The scripture doesn’t tell us. We make plenty of excuses for them… they were on their way to worship, they were maintaining ritual purity, the law prevented them from helping. But to see a person dying on the side of the road and to NOT stop… There is no excuse.

Lately, instead of a person in need on the side of the road, I’ve been witnessing a church that is not quite sure what part of the road we are on. In the midst of the work of ministry and church we are also distracted and focused on statements and trials regarding pastors who performed same-sex marriage ceremonies.

As I read the testimony of Tim, whose father, Frank, was found guilty this week for officiating his wedding, I couldn’t help but think about the injured man on the side of the road. Too often, the church has played the roles of the thieves in this story – battering and bruising our LGBT brothers and sisters by telling them they have no place in the church and leaving them on the side of the road… without hope, grace, or mercy.

I’ve listened to voices on all side of the arguments about homosexuality and the United Methodist Church and I try to be someone who does more listening than talking. I try to hear the good and find common ground. And the deep nugget of difference lies in the fact that one side believes that to be an LGBT person is to be who God has created them to be and the other side believes that six verses of scripture demonstrate that the actions of LGBT persons are sinful and therefore incompatible with Christian faith. One side is talking about conscious, willful decisions to sin that requires us as people of faith to hold one another accountable… but the other side is talking about the core of a person’s identity that includes gender and sexual orientation and ethnicity. Because it appears as if we are talking about two very different things the conversation and conferencing is immensely difficult. We are all people of faith but right now we are stuck.

I know the deep faithfulness of persons who are trying to uphold the ideals of Christian teaching and I do believe we need to hold one another accountable in love and grace for our sins. But today, I have to speak from the experiences in my life and prayerful nights and studying of scripture and admit I am faithfully standing on the other side of the argument. I believe in many of those passages we are taking the words of God out of context; the scripture is actually talking about pedarasty or ritual sex and not LGBT relationships. In others, the passages are simply wrong for our time; just as we have come to understand scriptures on slavery and the prohibition of female pastors and divorce differently in a different time, through the Holy Spirit, God is leading us to new understandings of what it means to be faithful people today. My friends and family who are gay and lesbian and bi and trans do not choose their reality. They are some of the most faithful and compassionate and God-fearing people I know. And as they work out their own salvation with fear and trembling and experience attacks that shoot to the very core of their identity… it does harm. Tim Schaefer is simply one voice among many who have been turned away at one point or another and who felt like his very existence was “incompatible.”

Part of who I was, my sexual orientation, was broken and evil, according to them. I felt incredible shame.

Every night I prayed, begging God to make me normal. I pleaded with God to fix me. Many nights I cried myself to sleep. I was in the 10th grade when I came to the realization that my attraction to men was not going to change. I began to think that the only way to avoid bringing shame to my family and community was to take my own life.

But thank God, Tim’s family supported him. Thank God there are churches who surround LGBT brothers and sisters (and all people) with love and compassion. Who allow God to speak through them. Who baptize their children and who hold their hands as they watch loved ones pass. Who serve them communion and welcome them into the church and allow the gifts God has blessed them with to bear fruit in the kingdom of God. Thank God there are people who have stopped on the side of the road to be engaged in acts of ministry and care and love.

These past few weeks, the core of what we are debating in official circles and in church trials is whether we are going to be a church that stops by the side of the road to do the work of Jesus… the work of the gospel and the core of the Law… or if we are going to hold fast to tradition and rules and step over to the other side of that road and keep going. If we are going to focus on “upholding the Book of Discipline in its entirety” or if we are going to get about the ministry of Jesus in his world.

Do you know what I hear in Luke 10? That we are called to go out into a harvest that is “bigger than you can imagine.” That we are to locate ourselves among the people God has led us to – healing the sick and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom. That we are to love and serve God with all of our heart, being, strength and mind. That we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. That the law demands mercy. That it is more important to sit at the feet of Jesus than to do the upkeep of the house. I firmly believe these things we can all agree on – no matter what side of this particular division… and that is what gives me hope.

I would be lying if I didn’t say I’m traditionally a rule follower. I love our church. I love our connection. I love our accountability. I even love our Discipline. But I have been called to love and serve God and God’s people and sometimes I just want to weep at how we set up barriers to the kingdom.

Christ have mercy, for the times we have been so distracted by rearranging the chairs that we forgot you were among us.

Lord have mercy, for costly trials that distract all of us from the work of saving the lost and hurting in our very midst.

Christ have mercy, for the times we have focused on following the letter of the law and didn’t help you lying on the side of the road.

The Institution of Marriage

Posted on July 20, 2013Leave a comment

**uploading some older sermons as I sort through files. This one in particular was a joy to write and I was blessed by the opportunity to share this day with my dear friends.**

Friends, we are gathered here today to celebrate an institution.

Now, that may seem like a boring and cold thing to say… but I assure you, nothing about today will be boring or cold =)

Institutions form societies. They mold us as individuals. They enhance our ability to be fully developed human beings. Institutions carry within them the values we hold most dear… the values that we want to pass on to the generations that follow us.

The institution of the family brought this man and this woman… in fact, all of us men and women… into the world. Each of you who have played the role of a parent or grandparent or a sister or brother to these two, have helped to make Ben and Kayla who they are today.

The religious institutions in their lives formed in them a deep sense of justice and love. Their wrestling with faith enabled them to ask questions about what it means to be faithful, about who their neighbor was, and about what it means to be a child of God.

Without the educational institution – well… Ben and Kayla never would have met. Some of us gathered here today witnessed the beginning of their journey together at Simpson College. They discovered their common values, they laughed and love together, and each step since that first one has brought all of us here.

Today, we witness them enter into the institution of marriage.

On the back of your programs, there is an excerpt from an important court decision in the state of Massachusetts.

Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support.

Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a “civil right.” Without the right to choose to marry one is excluded from the full range of human experience.

In beautiful and poetic words, the court reminds us that this institution of marriage is a public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family… it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity. These values – these ideals – are what bring us together today.

Any of us who know you – Ben and Kayla – know that your love has been a mighty and blazing flame for many years now. We know that your love needs no ornament or stamp of approval from any religious or governmental body in order to be real. We know of your commitment to one another, of your mutual respect, of your willingness to allow your partner to be who they are and yet love them anyways. We know that your love cannot be bought – that it is genuine and true – honest and holy. In fact, had we not gathered here today… and perhaps some of you thought we never would =) … Kayla and Ben would still be two individuals bound together by commitment and nurtured by love and mutual support.

But we do gather and we do celebrate, because a deeply personal commitment is not all that is important to them. Ben and Kayla believe that making these promises in public benefits the community. They believe that marriage brings stability to society. They believe that the honest, simple, and holy thing we call love is meant to be shared. By stopping at this place in their journey together and gathering before you, they mark the importance of the relationship that they share. They measure how far they have come and leave a reminder to all that follow of what marriage means to them. Here in Iowa, we don’t necessarily gather cairn stones to mark these moments… but we do like to put up billboards along the side of the road.

So, looking back years from now, we might remember that this billboard, from this moment, says: With God as my helper, I choose to live my life with this imperfect, flawed and terribly wonderful soul. I choose to take on the obligations and the joys of a shared existence. I believe that the ability to make this choice and to be faithful to it, is one of the highest and most esteemed values of our society.

The promises Ben and Kayla make today – and their living out of those promises – are themselves a witness of the importance of this institution and the joy they seek by entering it.

They believe that the benefits and obligations of this beautiful institution should be available to all that choose them…

Being married today in Iowa – they not only are publicly celebrating their love and the ideals of mutuality and fidelity and connection… they also celebrate the ideals of equality and justice.

So let us join them in their journey together and mark this moment with celebration…

Let us celebrate that we have the ability to bind ourselves together with the partner we choose.

Let us celebrate that many waters cannot quench the love two people have for one another.

Let us celebrate this beautiful institution of marriage and all of the good that it stands for. Amen and Amen.

Shake It Out… #gc2012

Posted on May 3, 20121 Comment

I’m not even sure there are words to describe the last 24 hours.

My roommate and re-acquainted friend from our youth days, Jessica Ireland, was hit by a truck in an intersection last night. She came out on the other side sore, scraped up, with deep scrapes on her foot that will take a while to heal… but with no broken bones. She came back to the hotel late last night and some of us young adult delegates from Iowa kept her company with pizza and conversation and laughter until the wee hours of the morning.

With little sleep, but a heart full of gratitude that Jessica is okay… or at least will be with some time… we headed to conference.

Our agenda today dealt with sex, money, and power. Literally.

Human sexuality occupied most of our morning session… and I do mean most, because after we failed to pass legislation that claimed United Methodist people of faith disagree on the issue, a protest crossed the bar and occupied the space. We were heading into the morning break, so it didn’t seem like a big deal. Those of us who gathered shared communion because what else do you do when you feel so broken? Where else do you turn?

But as the conference returned from break, it became clear that those who were in the middle were not leaving. I was back in my seat, but others refused to budge. After the monitoring report in which our head of GCSRW took off her badge and prophetically helped us to see that all of us are children of God, Bishop Coyner declared that the conference was unable to continue its business, he dismissed us for lunch (1.5 hours early), and declared that when we returned from lunch at 2pm that the plenary hall would be closed to all but delegates.

I’m going to just say it. I am an ally of the GLBT community. I have not always been a strong ally or advocate in the past because I feel it is my pastoral duty to care for all of my flock and to provide a safe space for people wherever they are and whatever they believe. So, I’m not outspoken. But my mother-in-law is a lesbian. I have dear friends who are clergy and/or would like to be clergy who are out. I have friends and mentors from my years in seminary and working at West End who are gay or lesbian or transgendered and have helped me to become a better Christian. A good friend from my high school youth group came out to me as bisexual. I have congregation members who have GLBT sons or daughters or grandchildren or siblings.

So as I watched my brothers and sisters in Christ in pain, I was heartbroken. We had said once again that we can’t even agree to disagree about this issue. And I saw the faces of those I love and knew that I couldn’t stand by, I couldn’t leave the plenary space if they were there, singing their hearts out, around the communion table. Not knowing if as a reserve delegate I would be allowed back in if I left for lunch, I sat in my chair and wept with friends. I prayed with my Bishop. While I knew that I was not prepared or felt comfortable occupying the plenary space or facing potential arrest from the non-violent demonstration, I was determined not to be shut out of the room. I prayed for a peaceful resolution for that moment… knowing that a peaceful resolution for our denomination would have to wait another four years or longer.

For three hours, those who were around the communion table sang and marched. And as plenary gathered once again, it was announced all would be welcome back in the room. And then our Bishops became our pastors. They calmed our hearts. They spoke peace. It was not okay, and they spoke that truth. Bishop Wenner said: This General Conference and the polity of our church have hurt you. She was real. She was honest. And we all listened. And the protest ended and they marched out of the room holding one hand up in the sign of peace.

Someone tweeted that nothing quiets a protest faster than a discussion of actuarial tables and within minutes, we were ankle deep in pension discussions. And then we talked about delegating the powers of general conference to another body and the petitions (amendments to the constitution) failed. And all day long, I kept looking for the voices of women and people of color and they were few and far between. I’m not sure if we were tired or beat up or if we just couldn’t get a word in edgewise, but the entire afternoon felt very heavy…

When we came to worship this evening, we weren’t quite sure we wanted to worship. We weren’t sure our hearts were in it. But Marcia McFee did it again… the right words at the right time. The right songs to stir our souls. The right symbolic actions to bring us together as the body of Christ… and dear Lord, the right bishop to break open the word of God for us. Bishop Kiesey’s words were like healing balm for my soul. I was reminded that this work of two weeks is just that – long, hard, difficult work. But it is not everything. We are called to feed the lambs of God. We are called to feed the sheep of Jesus’ flock. And on Sunday I’m going home to be IN ministry. To love the flock God has entrusted me with… to lead them… to feed them… to care for and cast nets wide in search of those people in my community who are desperate for God’s love. None of this matters if we can’t leave this place and go and serve the ones Jesus loves. That’s it. Feed his sheep. Simple. Succinct. So True.

As we closed, the Lake Junaluska Singers broke it down like no other. A regular dance party broke out on the floor of general conference and we continued dancing until we had worked out all of the tension and stress and weariness of the day. It was cleansing to let go. It was holy to let the Spirit move us. It was joy in the midst of suffering, kindom fellowship in the midst of the broken world.

My friend, Sarah, told me tonight that there is a reason dancing is a part of a purging ritual in so many cultures. We can’t carry that pain with us everywhere. We have to shake it off. We have to dance it out. We have to let wild abandon come over us so that we can breathe deeply, replenish our souls, and start over again tomorrow.

Lord have mercy.

standing motions #gc2012

Posted on April 27, 20125 Comments

Two weeks ago, a young person in Northwest Iowa killed himself after being bullied. He had recently come out that he was gay to classmates, friends and family. Our students in Marengo are often vicious towards one another and hurt their peers every day with words and actions that are not kind or compassionate… especially in regards to their sexuality: perceived, lived, or otherwise.

When delegates stood yesterday and Mark Miller spoke to the feelings of hurt, betrayal, disappointment felt after an exercise in holy conferencing on human sexuality was poorly run, tears started streaming down my face. Because our schedule was off, because elections ran over, because the time was cut short, because there was not a set way for participating, because not every group had the same experiences, what could have been a conference wide discussion was disjointed, awkward, and unsuccessful.

I cannot be sure of the specifics that he was referring to. But I do know the hopes that many had for those conversations. The opportunity to speak the truth in love to one another. To pray together. To ask God to guide us together in spite of our differences into a common foundation for our later work in legislative committees. But because those conversations were not given the fullness of weight we intended to have, we short-changed ourselves, our conference, and the world. I don’t know what happened in specific groups, but as our brothers and sisters stood with Mark at the microphone – they spoke of a spirit of bullying… and said that no one else did anything about it.

Often, our greatest sin is the sin of omission. Of not speaking up. Of not defending our brothers and sisters. Of not being a spirit of encouragement. Of allowing others to dominate, hurt, demean, offend, and refusing to speak. We do it because we are afraid of becoming the target our selves. We do it because we are not sure what to say. We do it because we are lazy. We do it because we are complicit. We do it because we ourselves are broken.

As Mark and the others stood at the microphone, others in the plenary session began to stand, too. And in the bleachers and in the observer sections, a person here and a person there began to stand. And I could not keep sitting. I thought of that young man from Iowa. I thought of my youth. I thought of all of the times that I had not spoken up. I thought of twitter and facebook conversations that I had refused to comment on and stop from continuing. I cannot do that anymore. I have to stand up. I have to speak. I have to reach out in love.

And so when I left worship tonight, full of healing music and the power of prayer and a cleansed heart, and I saw brothers and sisters standing silently lining the exits, I had to stop and stand with them. To join hands with my brothers and sisters. To pray. To sing. To commit myself to act on behalf of those who are being shut out, talked about and not with, and bullied with word or deeds.

Saturday night with the drag queens

Posted on January 5, 2011Leave a comment

Saturday night I had an awesome time helping my super best friend since fourth grade celebrate her impending nuptuials. AKA – Bachelorette Party!!!

If I had been wiser, I would have taken Sunday off as one of my vacation days… but I am saving one for this spring when her wedding actually occurs. As it was, I had to get up early, teach and preach the next morning. Yet I promised her sister when I wrote back to RSVP that I would be there, but that she could count on me for a designated driver.

As it worked out, I didn’t have to drive at all until the very end of the night. We had a blast stopping by the piano lounge, the downtown fieldhouse, and then making a stop at Club Basix. For those who are not familiar, Club Basix is known as a “gay club.” Which was more than obvious when we walked in the door and the drag show started.

Now, if I am being honest, I have been to more than a few drag shows in my day. We had them to raise money for the AIDS project of Central Iowa. We went to them in divinity school (as a lady… it is much more comfortable to dance at the gay clubs – less guys hitting on you all the time!) And now, I can say that I have been to one back home.

As someone leaned over and mentioned soon after it was getting started: Where else can these people go in Cedar Rapids? (more on that thought later)

The show itself had its highs and lows. There was one particular number that I was pretty appalled by… okay – it was raunchy and I had to turn away… but for the most part I enjoyed the experience. I think the best was a rendition of “Bad Romance” by a queen in mismatched pastel boots, gold knickers, a red tutu, rhinestone glasses and a tie-dye shirt… it was ah-mazing.

Later that evening, we were dancing and headed outside for a second for some fresh air. That particular queen was outside also and we struck up a conversation. My friend, Cara, had been called out at the end of the show because of our celebrations and so she was asked about the wedding. As she and I stood there, at one point, Cara replied – and she is marrying me!

It’s true. I am marrying her. Well, I’m doing the marrying. I’m doing the wedding… well, I’m a pastor – that’s what we do! However your phrase it.

So it came out that I was a minister. And not a “get a license over the internet person” who performs weddings for people who frequent establishments like Club Basix. (I was asked that.) But a genuine, ordained, main-line pastor. Out at a gay and lesbian night club at 1:30am on a Saturday night/Sunday morning.

And do you know where the conversation turned? To faith sharing. Our new friend shared with us that she was baptized Methodist. We talked for a bit about the places we came from. I was asked about gay marriage in Iowa and if I could perform those types of ceremonies. And she asked me to pray for her. And I will. I am.

My adventure at Club Basix began with a simple statement – where else can these people go in Cedar Rapids? And it ended with the realization that there are a lot of hurt and broken people in that building. Folks who have been shut out of families. Individuals who feel scared and alone. Friends who have built new families around one another… new communities of support because their churches turned them away.

What better place for a pastor to visit? What an amazing place to be able to talk, for even two minutes in the freezing cold outside, about the love of God? To leave my own comfort zone, to go and be there on their terms, to listen, and to just be Christ’s presence in that moment. There is no place that I would rather have been.