Text: Psalm 40:11-17; Matthew 26:36-39;
Good morning friends!
We find ourselves in the season of Pentecost.
The season of the Holy Spirit.
Those first disciples of Jesus were transformed into apostles…
leaders of a community of people that tapped into the power of God for good in the world.
You know, as much as we think about that phrase from the gospel of John…
that the world will know you are my disciples… they will know you are Christians… by how you love one another (John 13:35)…
I think this early Christian community was known by its prayer life.
Just after the ascension of Jesus, there were about 120 folks that were part of the Jesus movement who all gathered together.
Luke tells us that “all were united in their devotion to prayer.” (Acts 1:14)
And when Pentecost came ten days later… where were they?
Gathered together in prayer!
On that day, as their community grew by leaps and bounds, we are told that these thousands of new believers “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to the community, to their shared meals, and to their prayers.” (2:42)
And everyone around them was amazed by what they saw.
Prayer is powerful.
Prayer is power.
It is one of the key ways that we stay connected with God.
It is how we allow the Holy Spirit into our lives: our minds, hearts, and souls.
And as I thought about what I wanted to say to you in these last few weeks…
As I thought about what might be the most important thing I could leave you with…
I kept thinking about how important it is that we are a people of prayer.
It is part of our vision after all – isn’t it?
In Christ, we live a live of love, service, and prayer.
And I know you to be a praying people.
We knit and perl and crochet together prayers for others.
We add our neighbors and friends and family to our prayer list.
But I’ve noticed something else about this church…
We are great about praying for others…
but we sometimes struggle with lifting up prayers for ourselves.
Maybe it is because we don’t want to admit that we don’t have it all together…
Or because we don’t want to be seen as bragging about the good in our lives…
Or maybe we aren’t sure if it is something we need or deserve.
The writer Anne Lamott describes prayer as:
“…taking a chance that against all odds and past history, we are loved and chosen, and do not have to get it together before we show up. The opposite may be true: We may not be able to get it together until after we show up in such miserable shape.”
Did you hear that?
We might not be able to get it together… until AFTER we show up in such miserable shape.
You don’t have to have all the right words, or have it all figured out.
You just need to start.
Over these next three weeks, we are going to talk about what Anne Lamott describes as the essential prayers for our lives:
Help.
Thanks.
Wow.
When I think about those three prayers, but especially the first one, “Help!” I realize that God already knows what we need.
God already knows what is happening in our lives.
Really the question is… are we aware?
Can we be honest with ourselves?
Are we willing to admit that we are not in control?
Perhaps this kind of prayer is easy in moments of true desperation.
In 1815, the playwright Hannah More, described how, “under circumstances of distress, indeed, prayer is adopted with comparatively little reluctance; the mind, which knows not where to fly, flies to God. In agony, nature is no Atheist.”[i]
Later in World War I, people would talk about how there were no atheists in the trenches and foxholes.
In those moments when we truly have run out of options, and nothing is left, we cry out, “Help!”
In our scriptures for this morning, we hear two variations on this prayer.
The Psalmist finds themselves surrounded by evil and sin.
Troubles are piling up, counting more than the hairs on their head.
They cannot see a way out.
Their heart… their hope… fails them.
“O Lord, make haste to help me!”
As The Voice translation concludes this psalm:
“I am empty and need so much, but I know the Lord is thinking of me. You are my help; only You can save me, my True God. Please hurry.”
In the Gospel reading, Jesus himself is described as grieved and agitated.
He knows that betrayal and death are just around the corner and it is more than his soul can bear.
And so first, he cries out to his friends for help… “remain here, and stay awake with me.”
But then he cries out to God:
“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me…”
Save me… rescue me… from what I am about to go through.
There are those moments of true and utter desperation that show up in our lives.
Life and death moments…
Rock bottom moments…
When there is literally nothing else that we can do besides ask for help and prayer from those around us.
But I’m far more aware of those more everyday situations where we might need help and prayer, but we hesitate to speak up.
We hate the feeling of vulnerability and think that we should be stronger than we are.
I can do this on my own, we say.
We don’t want to bother others with what we are going through.
Or we worry about what they might think of us if they knew that we were having a hard time.
Most of you don’t know my spouse, Brandon, because he’s not a “churchy” guy.
Deeper than that, he has some experiences that have put him off from religion and we’ve established some good boundaries to help respect one another’s beliefs and needs.
I so appreciate all of you in this church for also doing so and allowing him to be who he is.
Just over two years ago, we found ourselves going through a rough patch.
I have preached on mental health, talked about suicide and depression, walked with many of you through those moments… but suddenly, there it was on my own doorstep.
Brandon was experiencing feelings of hopelessness and depression and anxiety… and we were able to reach out and get him connected with the resources and therapies that he needed.
But there were some incredibly difficult moments along the way, including a 9-1-1 call in the middle of the night when he had a poor reaction to a change in one of his medications.
And as much as Brandon needed help in those moments, so did I.
I knew I couldn’t fix it… but that doesn’t mean I didn’t feel shame or guilt for not being able to do so.
I needed help and strength to walk that journey with him.
And I’m so grateful for a group of friends and colleagues who answered midnight texts and kept checking in on us and allowing me to vent when I needed to do so.
I’m so grateful for members of this staff and SPRC committee that created a safe space for me to share and talk about what was going on and who kept Brandon and I in your prayers.
But as I was thinking about this sermon, I also keep asking myself why I didn’t share all of this with all of you while it was happening.
Part of the reason is that Brandon himself was not ready to talk about it in a bigger way… and with worship being online, I didn’t want to share more of his story in such a public space…
It is one of the reasons why we aren’t sharing more intimate details and names of prayer requests in worship… because we are now livestreaming worship every week, we hold those more personal details for our internal prayer lists.
But I also think my own hesitation to share in a bigger way reflects why it is difficult for all of us.
We don’t want to bother others.
Or we don’t want it to change our relationship with them… worried that they will only see our weakness.
Or you know what… maybe we simply want a space in our lives where we can pretend that everything is okay.
As your pastor, I think I worried about it impacting my ability to show up in the way you needed me to… even though, it was impacting my ability to show up in the ways you needed me to.
And what I needed, but maybe was unable to communicate, was some extra grace as I spent a bit more time at home and when I couldn’t be as available as I wanted to be.
I just kept doing what I could, hoping that things would be okay.
I fumbled along… rather than asking for your prayers.
Rather than crying out, “Help!”
Lamott describes this as the hardest prayer, because we are admitting defeat:
“You have to surrender, which is the hardest thing any of us do, ever.”
It is not easy to say, “I can’t fix this.”
We struggle with admitting that things are not okay… sometimes even to ourselves.
But then Lamott goes on to say: “a lot of the time we don’t know when we’re surrendering that we’re actually, at the same time… establishing connection… to a power greater than ourselves.”[ii]
We “open ourselves to being helped by something, some force, some friends, some something.”
When we turn to God and when we turn to our fellow disciples with a prayer of “help!” we don’t just find answers… we find community.
We find people who are not just willing, but eager, to walk alongside us.
We find a God who has always been faithful and good and who will never stop loving and caring for us.
It is why the Psalmist is able to not just cry out for help, but to acknowledge the joy that comes to those who seek him.
And it is why Jesus, in his great prayer of desperation can reconnect with his Father, placing his life in God’s hands… Not my will, but yours.
In saying, I trust you with this… we are also saying, I am in relationship with you.
Friends, when we share our own prayers for help with each other, we are saying to one another:
I believe that you care for me.
I trust that you are in this with me.
And I know the power of God that is with us will continue to give us strength not just for this, but for anything that might come our way.
In asking for help, we are creating the opportunity for us to be blessed by one another.
That doesn’t mean that you need to feel pressure to air all your struggles with the whole body.
It is perfectly okay to have a smaller group of friends and disciples that you trust to walk with you… a friend or two that you know you can be honest and vulnerable with.
Even Jesus chose to take along just a few disciples for his intimate time of prayer in the garden.
I needed that during my struggles… and was so grateful I had it.
But I also want you to remember and to know that this is a praying church.
That if you ask for help and are willing to be vulnerable and share those needs with us, we will be here for you.
We will be united in our prayers, quick and eager to help and respond and show up with whatever might be needed.
Like that early Christian community, we are people who love one another, want what is best for one another, and are willing to share and surround each other with the love and grace and mercy of God.
And I think that when we have the courage to be vulnerable and surrender, we will find that God will simply pour out even more power and strength upon us.
May it be so.
Amen.
[i] 1815, An Essay on the Character and Practical Writings of Saint Paul by Hannah More, Volume 2 of 2, Fourth Edition, Chapter 19, Quote Page 232, Printed for T. Cadell and W. Davies, London.
[ii] https://www.npr.org/2012/11/19/164814269/anne-lamott-distills-prayer-into-help-thanks-wowMusic:
