nature – Salvaged Faith

When strangers meet in the woods..

Posted on September 16, 2016Leave a comment

I was run/walking today on a wooded path alone. Three guys were heading towards me, drinking beers, joking around. My heart rate increased. I did that mental calculus, wondering if something happened, and I screamed, would anyone hear.

As they got closer, one of the guys said: good morning, ma’am!

So I said good morning back.
Are you having fun? He asked.
Trying! I said back.
Keep at it! He responded.

Earlier in my walk, I came across a deer in the middle of the path. While I was far off, it simply watched, waited, did it’s own mental calculus. I was actually astonished at how close we came.

But them my ear buds beeped, signalling the next run interval and as I changed pace, the deer was startled and took off through the woods.

I hate that we live in a world where my first instinct was to be cautious. I wasn’t afraid, but alert and anxious… just like I’ve been conditioned to be by the friends, family, and strangers who have had their vulnerability taken advantage of. Just like that deer that turned an ran when it percieved me as a threat.

Even if I didn’t feel physically threatened, I have been cat-called enough that I was dreading the moment I came to the three guys.

I was wrong.

Today, I’m grateful for people who remind me that most people really are decent, that kind souls exist, and who appreciate a beautiful stroll on a path in the woods on a gorgeous day as much as I do.

Remembering Our Place #growrule

Posted on February 15, 20161 Comment

This Lent, I have been using a tool called “Growing a Rule of Life.” Each day there is a video and a prompt question to engage with. And of course, I’m behind already.

Friday’s video reminded me that we need structure, we need planning, we need the framework in place before we start these kinds of disciplines, and the very fact that I didn’t schedule time for my days off and for Sunday (which is always a hectic day in my world) proves the point.

The question we were left with that day is simple: when you connect with nature, what is meaningful about it?

When I truly connect with nature, I find that I, myself, my ego, is diminished. So much of my life is spent working and relating and living my life and everything revolves around myself and my calling and what I’m supposed to do or not do.

Yet when I truly connect with nature, all of that ceases.

I still my soul.

I stop.

And I am humbled by the reminder that there is so much else going on in the world that is not me.

The falling of snow flakes. The robins in the trees. The buds already forming. The hawk gliding overhead. The slow decomposition of the leaves that are life and death all wrapped into one.

And all of it continues without me.

In fact, all of this life probably would do a lot better without our human interference and selfish use and abuse of the world.

When I truly connect with nature, I am overcome with how small I am, and how beautiful the world is.

My soul cannot help but be awed by our Creator.

So much of the time, I’m rushing here and there, from meeting to project, to home and back.

Without creating space to stop and pause and connect with the world around us, I will forget who I am. I will forget how insignificant these tasks are in the grand scheme of things. I will forget that it is not about me… but my Creator.

Resting in the gaps

Posted on June 15, 2015Leave a comment

A cup of coffee on the back porch.
Rain falling, gently at times, harder at others.

I do have a plan for this time away.
It is not vacation or down time, it is a time to practice different rhythms and see what grows.

I hoped to weed the garden this morning.

But the rain falls.

Lord knows I need some inactivity.
I need to sit.
I need to be.

So I have been watching the chipmunks play on the woodpile.

Yes, that woodpile.

In the next month, it will hopefully move to its permanent location and be settled there.

For now it remains right in front of my view on the back porch.

The chipmunks scamper and roam, dart in and out of crevices.

And they rest in the gaps.

They stop for a moment now and then.

They come to a stand still there in the spaces between the logs.

Sheltered from the rain, time to still their beating hearts, to plan and plot their next move.

Thank God for the spaces and gaps in our lives. Thank God for times of renewal and rest.

Sabbath

Posted on June 13, 2015Leave a comment

Still and quiet in the cove.
Every now and then a sprinkle.
Lazy breezes blow by and the birds talk to each other.
They catch up as we catch up. Goldfinch and cardinals, sparrows and blue jays.
Dancing and playing in the trees.
They feast on the gnats until the gnats feast on us.
So we leave the cove and return to the river.
Kick it into gear and the wind whips by.
Hands in the air, catching the currents.
Fragments of conversation drifting past.

Prayers from under a blanket

Posted on February 19, 2013Leave a comment

Today’s prompt begins with verse 6 of the familiar Psalm 139 (NRSV): “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it.”

Look up today. Let the high places catch your eye and your imagination. Be full of wonder as you pick up your pen to pray.

Holy God, we turned up the thermostat tonight.

Outside our walls the wind is rushing and swirling and stirring up everything in sight.

It is a cold and bitter wind.

It is the kind of that makes you want to hunker down and drop your head and close the hood of your coat in tighter.

It is a wind that humbles you.

Brings you to your knees.

It moves with such power that it goes through your very bones.

Goes through the bones of the house.

Gets to the core even if you are wrapped up tight.

Sometimes, God, you blow like that in my life.

Your Spirit moves so fiercely through me that I have to back away.

I want to curl up in a ball.

I want to become small so that you won’t notice me.

But you do.

You get to me.

You get into the depths of me.

But instead of a cold and bitter wind, it is a touch of fire, a spark of movement, a calling to go and to do.

And when I hunker down and try to resist, you get me anyways.

You fill me up so that I can’t take it anymore.

And brought low to my knees I have to respond.

Speak Lord, for your servant is listening.

walking on sunshine #reverb10

Posted on January 3, 2011Leave a comment

This prompt is HARD!!! First of all, I took a lot of pictures this year, so that was problem number one not a lot with me in them! Second, there are so many different “mes” I have tried to be this year. But In answer to the prompt:

December 25 – Photo – Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you. (Author: Tracey Clark)

It is not a flattering picture of myself… but it is me and my husband out on the water, enjoying the sun. I’m sure it is one that we took ourselves by holding out the camera. The sunglasses are on, the tongues are out – a sure sign of a good time and silliness, the air is warm, and we are with family enjoying ourselves.

What I see in this picture is life, energy, and fun.

This is the source of the passion I can bring to my ministry. It is what allows me to recharge my batteries. Whether it is Hawaii with my mom’s family or out on the river or the lake with my husband’s family, disc golfing in the summer… just being outside, enjoying the creation, letting other people take care of you and taking care of others is important.

What I want is for 2011 to have just as many of these kinds of moments, if not more. Times to truly relax and to be myself. Moments to let go and be silly. Days when I am not on call and don’t have to be anywhere… because they make those days when I do have to be there for others so much easier.

My first choice would have to be:

twinkle, twinkle, little star #reverb10

Posted on January 2, 2011Leave a comment

Last night…. well, this morning… I drove home at 3:00am in the morning from a friend’s party. It was about four degrees outside and the sky was absolutley clear. The air was crisp and clean and the stars were so bright and vivid that you felt you could reach out and literally pluck them from the sky. I almost had to pull over the car just to look and gaze upon the sight… but I knew if I stopped at that hour I would most certainly fall asleep!

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

It has not been difficult in 2010 to really grasp a sense of wonder at this world. Everywhere I look around me I see these miraculous and beatiful signs of God’s power and the beauty of creation.

The other evening we had seven deer in my back yard eating acorns. I stopped at the bathroom window and watched them with amazement for fifteen minutes instead of brushing my teeth.

I was driving to my parents house and I saw a bald eagle soaring through the air and in between the trees. Good thing it was a straight road or I would have driven off it!

My nephew’s little tiny smiles and giggles knock me over flat. My neice’s expressions stop my heart. The things my older nephew comes up with make me want to wrap him up in my arms and never let him go.

The sunset one evening as I walked around the local park was so spectacular that I pulled out my phone and captured it to remmeber forever.

The waves crashing in one after the other on the west side of Oahu absolutely stunned me. The sky was a brilliant blue, the sun was blazing and the white churning sea dazzled. I could have sat there and watched them for hours.

The intense feeling of reconnection and the amazing discovery that I love spending time with my parents as an adult child and a friend.

The warmth of a cat’s body curled up and nestled into yours when you are sick or sleeping, cold or lonely.

The thrill of a storm lurking on the horizon and the shades of gray and green that pass over the sky as the wind picks up and the rain starts to pour and the lightening streaks against the sky

You just have to look.

You only have to pay attention.

There are so many things to wonder at in this world.

Theologically Worrisome

Posted on June 22, 20081 Comment

I’m procrastinating on my sermom fine-tuning by posting here, but it is something that has been troubling me. If people in my congregation are having thoughts that I feel are theologically worrisome, do I let them continue in them, or just keep telling them my own over and over?

Specifically, this is about interpreting the string of natural disasters that have hit our world as warnings from God. There is a strong sense that we are getting ever closer to the end times and these tragic events are reminders to straighten up and fly right. And everything within my cries “no.” In the local UM pastors meeting, we talked about not judgment, not warning, but about God leading us throught the stormy waters, about the promise that the waters would not overcome, about Christ being the rock we cling to in these times…

it’s really a question of theodicy and God’s soverign power. Is God behind natural disasters, or not? Can God stop them? And if God can and doesn’t, what does it mean? I reside much more in the mysteriousness of God’s power and the reminder of God’s promises… whereas, my congregation holds fast to God’s power over all and unending desire to get us to obey… so we come out in different places. I’m gently urging them not to consider another person’s disaster as an intentional means of God speaking to the world… especially when so much life has been destroyed – to me, that seems so counter to the God I know and love and follow. But I still struggle.