Text: Matthew 18:21-35
Last week, Pastor Todd helped us to launch our series, “Like a Child,” by reminding us of how Jesus welcomed little children in not one, not two, but three of our gospels.
In each place, Jesus reminds the disciples, and us, that unless we humble ourselves or have the faith of a child, we will not enter the Kingdom of God.
So as we start summer here at Immanuel, we thought that we might explore deeper what it means to have faith like a child.
What does it mean to shed the bad habits and baggage that we have learned to carry as adults.
What can we learn from the little ones in our midst about what it means to love God and love our neighbor?
I am the proud aunt of eight nieces and nephews.
And I’m the type of aunt that is often found on the floor, playing with the cars, painting nails, and reading books, than watching from afar.
So, I’m often in the middle of it all when a younger sibling takes a toy that someone else is playing with or throws a fit when they lose a game.
I try not to do too much policing myself, as an aunt. Mom and Dad usually have a better understanding of when to intervene and what type of correction they would prefer to be using in the moment.
But as I thought about all of the times that either their parents or myself have intervened to calm a situation, I realized that the words that always come out of our mouth are:
“Say you’re sorry.”
It doesn’t matter who was in the wrong.
Both kids usually have to say sorry.
Typically, both are also redirected away from the source of the conflict and towards something they can either all use together or that will keep them a part.
Do you know what I realized?
I don’t think we ever have to teach children to say: “I forgive you.”
The dictionary defines forgiveness as when we stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense, a flaw, or a mistake.
In our gospel reading this morning, the word translated to forgiveness comes from the Greek aphiemi (a-fee-a-me), which means to send away or to give something up; to let it be or let them have it.
Forgiveness is about release.
Forgiveness is about restoration of relationship.
And forgiveness is almost always about the person wronged.
You see, as adults, when someone offends us or hurts us or takes away one of our toys, animosity builds in our heart towards that person.
We not only remember and take note of the wrong… we allow it to come between us.
Forgiveness is when we let go of that anger or frustration or resentment and enter back into relationship with that person.
But you see, kids don’t have to learn how to forgive.
One afternoon, my nephews were fighting over a Transformer and whose turn it was to play with it.
Both had their sticky little fingers on it, and to be honest, none of us adults could remember who had it first or how long they had it. All we knew was that tears were about to flow and the pitch of their voices kept rising.
What we feared is that either they would break this toy they both coveted or one of them would end up hurt from the struggle.
So, my brother called a time out, the Transformer got put on a shelf until another time, and their dad declared it was time to sit and read books for a while.
“Say you’re sorry”
“Sorry.”
“Sorry.”
Both kids crawled up onto my lap and we started reading my favorite about the monster at the end of the book.
No more anger.
No resentment.
Right after the book was finished, they went off to play, together, with their cars.
Children don’t need to learn how to forgive, because children don’t allow mistakes, offenses, or wrongs to come between them.
You simply say you are sorry and you move on.
Adults need to practice forgiveness because we have lost that child-like faith in one another.
Somewhere along the way, as we grow we learn how to hold on to their hurts.
We remember wrongs done to us and nurse that pain until it grows.
One afternoon, my brothers were playing with action figures and one of them decided that to keep his sibling from playing with their favorite one, a batman figurine, he was going to bury it somewhere the other couldn’t find it.
There were two problems with this scenario.
First – Tony forgot where he buried the Batman and it was forever lost to both of them.
Second – Darren never forgot that Tony forever lost his favorite toy.
To this day… as we find ourselves sitting around as family, the lost Batman story comes up.
I think that Darren finally forgave Tony a few years ago, when he received a three foot tall Batman figurine from him for Christmas.
Of course, this small thing was not something that really came between them or damaged their relationship. But there was a moment when that child-like ability to instantly move on faded for them and for all of us who are grown. The offense stuck with them enough that it kept coming up in conversation even 25 years later.
How do we recapture that child-like faith?
How do we go back and rediscover that spirit of mercy and patience and love that allows us to say we are sorry and move on?
First, children don’t carry grudges because they don’t live in the past.
They are focused on what is right in front of them… the activity, the people, the relationships.
Yesterday’s hurt has no place in today’s relationship. Forgiveness requires that we stay in the present moment.
So taking a deep breath and focusing on the person rather than the past will allow us to let go of the anger and the pain as we forgive.
Peter tries to address this by asking a question of Jesus in our gospel reading this morning.
“Lord, how many times do I have to forgive someone who has wronged me?”
Peter is starting to get what it means to follow Jesus.
He knows that the gospel is about grace and mercy and love.
So he knows that people deserve more than even a second chance.
“Should I forgive them seven times?” he asks.
Seven times.
Seven chances.
Seven times you have been hurt or offended or wronged by someone.
Seven moments where you let the pain that you feel, the anger and the hurt go so that you can enter back into relationship with them.
Seven times!
To be honest, that sounds like a lot.
I know people today who have unfriended someone on facebook because of a single comment or have left a church because of a single instance of hurt or pain.
Our response these days to hurt rarely involves giving someone a second chance.
We take our toys and we leave and we allow the anger to become a gulf between us.
Peter is going far above and beyond what the standard is for forgiveness in society today.
But Peter isn’t going far enough.
Scholars debate the translation of Jesus’ response here. Seventy-seven? Seventy times seven?
However you read the text, Jesus is telling Peter to stop counting. Stop looking to the past. Stop keeping a record of wrongs.
Simply forgive.
Always forgive.
Never stop forgiving.
The second thing we need to remember is that children don’t calculate the costs of revenge.
Instinctually, they might lash out and hit back if they are hit, but more likely they will turn to tears or go running to the nearest adult to solve their problem.
Their sense of self recognizes that to get over this situation, they need more than their own resources.
What I find fascinating about the response of Jesus to Peter is that he is inviting us to open our scriptures and remember the Torah. In Genesis, chapter 4, Lamech proclaims that where his ancestor Cain was protected with a seven-fold vengenace, if anything happened to him, God would avenge Lamech’s death seventy times seven over.
This connection with ancient scripture reminds us that vengeance is the Lord’s.
Cain had murdered his own brother and yet it was not the job of humanity to take his life. God sent him away, but God also protected him from the wrath of others.
You and I are not called to exact revenge or carry resentment or seek to end someone’s life or livelihood as a result of pain.
Our job is always to forgive.
And forgiveness means letting go of vengeance because it belongs only to God.
Finally, children don’t have learn how to forgive because they know that their life depends on relationship.
Their home, food, clothing… everything they have depends on the people around them.
To allow hurt and pain to come between you and another person might result in the loss of something that you need to survive.
In that sense, children are also extremely vulnerable and cannot fight back or run away from serious harm inflicted by those who are supposed to care for them the most.
As adults, we believe that we are independent.
We believe that we can live without others.
And so rather than forgive and enter back into relationship, we cut ourselves off from on another.
A child-like faith is reclaiming that we are all part of the same body of Christ.
We need one another.
I need you.
You need me.
And that means that we have to forgive, to let the hurt slip into the past, so that we can move forward in relationship and ministry together.
As Jesus continues to respond to Peter, he shares a parable about the forgiveness of debts.
No matter how large or small the offense.
No matter how many times we have been wronged.
Our job is to forgive. To let go. To let be.
So that we can enter back into relationship with one another.
And, so that we can enter back into relationship with God.
For you see, when we allow something to come between us and our siblings, we have also allowed something to come between us and our Lord.
Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.
When you send away the anger that has come between you and another person, you will discover that you have also torn down the wall that was separating your heart from God’s never-failing love.
And friends, we need that love.
We need that relationship with God.
Our very life is sustained by the One, who in the words of Psalm 103, forgives all our sins and heals all our diseases and redeems our life from the pit.
the Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love.
God does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
As far as the east is from the west, so far as God removed our transgressions from us.
God sent them away. Let them go.
God has forgiven you.
So, our job is to forgive others.
Oh… and don’t forget to say you’re sorry.