Pastoral Persona

Pastoral Persona

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A while back, Verily put out an article:  Three Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Post Something on Social Media

The basic three questions are these:

  1. Is it useful?
  2. Is it truthful?
  3. Is it fruitful?

I had shared the article with other pastors because I thought that the three questions raised in the article are good guidelines for how we can interact with parishioners and one another online.  In today’s vicious political climate and in the lead up to our own General Conference, I thought these questions would be good to revisit.

On the one hand, these questions help us to utilize social media and our web presence and be truly vulnerable.  But I think they are also guidelines that allow us to be real without oversharing or crossing boundaries.  These questions act as a filter for whatever content we might put forth – from our feelings on a basketball game to our opinion of a candidate to our experience of worship that morning.

Verily doesn’t have a Christian background, so I find it so interesting that fruitfulness is one of the criteria they use. And the very idea of promoting ourselves as a brand seems the very definition of inauthentic.  However, we do have a persona, a public perception, that we are known by – whether as pastors or as church folk or as church bodies in general.  The world sees us based on what we choose to put out there via blogs, websites, tweets, and posts.  So, what are we saying?

Is it useful?

“if I think someone else will benefit intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually from my post, I’ll push it out.”

I think this could also be thought of as relevance.  Is this something that my community should be aware of or are they already talking about it? I’ve long used the Barthian quote about having a bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other, and I think this usefulness question asks us to make connections with the lives of people and the gospel we proclaim. And, I think it invites us to look to the secular world and see where we can find insight that is good for the people of God, too. (like the article I’m referencing!)  One of my hobbies is watching television shows and I am constantly discovering questions, insights, and realities of the human dilemma that we fail to talk about as a church.  So occasionally I try to blog about where I see grace or the human condition or redemption in the media we consume in the secular world.  If we aren’t paying attention to the world we live and breathe in, I think our posts will fail to be useful.

Usefulness also has to do with what we are trying to accomplish with our posts.  Maybe we need to ask if the church will benefit intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually from our posts.  Or, are we simply trying to stir the pot?  Are we trying to build up the church or does our commentary simply serve to tear it apart?  The same could be asked of our national conversations and politics.

Is it truthful?

“Is what I’m broadcasting… an accurate representation of who I am personally and professionally?”

While this item does have to do with actual facts, and we shouldn’t ever promote or share things that simply aren’t true, this point for me really is about whether something accurately represents me.  I post about sports and food and family and friends because it is who I am.  Yes, I am a pastor, but I am also a real, normal human being, just like others are.  If my online pastoral persona is all about the church or if it is all about ministry, then I am painting a false image of what it means to serve God.  I don’t create space for others to live their lives AND serve God, too.

The flip side of this is that ministry is a high calling and we commit to living according to higher standards.  And as a colleague noted, perhaps as pastors we give up the right to a “private” life when we take on our calling.

Or perhaps, a different way to say it is that our lives as pastors are always under the microscope of public opinion.  What we do, even in our private time, reflects our profession (whether we want it to or not).  I hang out with a lot of non-churched people.  They are at my house every Friday night, playing board games and ping pong.  Even in that little microcosm of personal life, they don’t forget that I am also a pastor.

And so, if I can’t say it in front of colleagues or in front of the church, maybe I really shouldn’t say it… or at the very least not say it online.   I find it much harder to remember this when I’m at home watching a basketball game and my team is down by 35 points.

Is it fruitful?

“Will what I’m sharing create something bigger or make an impact, whether in the form of an online debate or dollars for a charity?”

My colleague, Deborah Coble Wise, noted that this definition of fruitfulness is sometimes part of the problem:  “When everything because a ’cause’ or a debate… does it lose the possibility of authentic relationship?”

How we, as the church, define fruitfulness is very different from the rest of the world. Sometimes, yes, it is about numbers and getting people on our side (if our side is the Kingdom).  We could ask how this post could help make disciples of Jesus Christ and how it will help to raise money for a project we are working on.

But we also define fruitfulness in a lot of un-quantifiable ways.  Will this post help us transform the world?  Will it bring hope to someone?  Will it spark a conversation?  Will it create a deeper relationship or community?  Will it impact the life of a youth?

What I am learning as I give up social media for Lent…

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#1 – I seek praise, sympathy, solidarity through social media.  The smallest, most insignificant thing could happen and my first instinct is to post it so that other people will comment and respond.  It is attention-seeking behavior that often slips into a self-centered focus.  Having to constantly fight the urge to post has led me to wonder what I’m getting out of those posts… and what others are as well.  Sometimes, it is an authentic search for community and others to share the journey with.  Sometimes it is  race to see who has the biggest sob story or frustration of the day.  These past weeks have reminded me of my insignificance.  No one  really cares what I had for breakfast or about a stubbed toe or that I shared an article.  I’m just not that important.  And I shouldn’t be.

#2 – Most of my news comes from social media. When I hear of breaking news, I search for the topic on twitter instead of turning on the television.  The variety of sources, the mix of images, video, stories, personal reflections, global perspectives is amazing.  I just don’t get the same depth of information watching one news channel go on for hours at a time about a single event, and when you flip stations between the networks, the information is often similiar with only slight colors of perspective.  As Ukraine and Russian and the Malaysian flight disappearance have made headlines, I have largely been out of the loop of what is happening in the world.

#3 – Many of my conversations with close, personal friends, happen on Facebook.  While texting is part of my communications toolbox, I rarely call or email these individuals.  I never realized how much I rely upon Facebook groups for keeping in touch with a circle of friends – whether they are colleagues or my girlfriends.  I had to write a clause into my lenten discipline that allowed me to continue using the Messenger part of Facebook (which meant I had to download the app), because I realized I would be completely out of the loop on conversations about health, upcoming events, and personal struggles.  Not being on facebook and able to follow posts on group pages has left me feeling fairly isolated from those I am most connected with.

#4 – I pray a lot through Facebook.  Whether they are shared prayer concerns among colleagues or simply reading the everyday struggle and hopes of friends, family, and colleagues, I am frequently moved to pray as I interact with posts and snoop on people’s lives.  Not having that source of prayer material at my fingertips, however, has led me to pay attention a bit more to the people around me… the guy sitting on the park bench, the people in line.  I find myself wondering what their story is, what they hope for…  I haven’t worked up the courage to ask yet, however.  I’m not sure if I’ve always been an “overhearer” of people’s lives or if this is something that a social media culture has developed in me and others around me.  And sometimes I wonder if that extension of ourselves into the public space is good or not.  I hesitate to lift up a prayer out loud on the bus, but I don’t when I’m commenting on a friend of an acquaintances post.  It’s something to ponder.

#5 – I enjoy watching sports with social media.  I enjoy the quick stats and the commentary that is often far better than what is on the television.  I like the sense of solidarity in amazing plays and in bad calls.  Yet, with the Iowa Hawkeyes basketball team being told to stay off of twitter because of the criticisms, I also recognize how brutal it gets out there.  The things we yell at the television in the quiet of our own homes now are the things we post online in public in the heat of the moment, without tempering our emotions and remembering it is, after all, just a game. 

#6 – I’m following the practice of celebrating Sundays as “little Easters” and not fasting from social media on those days.  In the past two weeks, I’ve largely used those days to dump pictures and a quick narrative of the highlights of my week, as well as to quickly skim my group pages, catch up where I can with friends, and have left very few comments.  I might have spent a total of 2 hours on facebook between those two days.  The time I spend in my typical week on social media must be astounding.  I’m sure there is an app somewhere to monitor it, but I’m afraid to look. 

#7 – I use Facebook and social media equally for work and for personal matters.  Conversations with friends and co-workers happen simultaneously.  I’m more aware of that fact as I try to occasionally use it for work-related items (like updating our facebook page for Imagine No Malaria), but the distinction is so blurred that I have tried to avoid it or batch post.  I think it would be worth it to do some hard work of creating new lists on facebook to better discriminate what I post and to whom so I could use it for both in a better way. 

#8 – this is NOT going to be a permanent fast.

Jurisdictional Conference Day 4

Yes, I realize I went from Day 0 to Day 4… so much transpiring with not a whole lot of time to really sit and reflect.

This being my first Jurisdictional conference, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.  We had some amazing preaching, reports of shared jurisdictional ministries, elections to General Agencies and jurisdictional committees and in between a whole lot of conversation and community.

My plate just got a little bit fuller as I accepted the nomination to be our conference representative on the General Commission on Communications and I’m on our jurisdictional Rules of Order committee (which might only meet once in the next four years).

I resisted my urges for making snarky comments by keeping a twitter play-by-play of the speeches and sermons. I was so relieved to hear us refocus ourselves around what we can do together and the awesome power of God to renew and recreate instead of threats of “death tsunamis.” God is active and we have nothing to fear.  With boldness we are going to radically risk and live into the Kingdom of God… at least, I’m going to!

I got to hang out with my friend Jessica again and I’m glad she is recovering and healing from Tampa. 

I connected with other young adults from the jurisdiction and without official funding or organization we are going to plan a NCJ gathering for fellowship and reconnection.

But perhaps the thing I’m taking from jurisdictional conference is the reminder that my plans are not God’s plans and that the connection we serve (and the God we serve) might take us places we do not expect.  Our bishops move, our ministries belong to all of us rather than any individual, and what we do together is awesome.

Multi-tasking, but missing out

Kristin from over at Halfway to Normal recently posted about how difficult it is to be a parent these days (Parenting from the old gut in a new world.)  In the article, she referenced a Stanford University study on Multitasking and shared this quote:

When we media multitask, we’re not really paying attention to the people around us and we get in a habit of not paying attention, and thus when I’m talking with you, I may be hearing the words but I’m missing all the rich, critical, juicy stuff at the heart of emotional and social life. – Researcher Clifford Nass

Now, I’m not a tween and I’m not a parent, but I am terrible about multi-tasking. I think and feel like I can do multiple things at once, but in reality, I am missing out on a lot of relationship building.

The person who has suffered the most at the hands of my incessent multi-tasking is my husband.  We’ll be watching television and I’ll stop to check facebook during a commercial and I miss a question.  He drops by my office and I keep trying to read whatever article is up and listen to him at the same time and I really zone out on both.  I didn’t realize how bad I had become at this until he recently left the office because he had asked me a question and I never responded.  Doh!

I am making a new commitment to myself.  When I’m spending time with my husband, the phone is going to be left alone.  When he stops in to visit, I’m going to either let him know I am busy and can’t talk or I’m going to give him my undivided attention.

Relationships are too hard and too important for us to do them halfway.  And I for one, am not ready to miss out on all the “rich, critical, juicy stuff.”

self-haters no more

I am now in the habit of stalking my youth group members on facebook… not to see what kinds of mischeif they are into… but to remind them that they are amazing children of God.

I have often commented on the lack of respect among some of the youth in our community these days… but I have realized that it extends to (or maybe is rooted in) self-respect.  Kids in this town just don’t believe in themselves.  Or rather, they believe the hurtful and negative things that come out of their classmates’ and family members’ and “friends” mouths more than they will believe what is inside themselves.
These young men and women are smart.  They are creative.  They are quick to defend someone who is down. They are excellent athletes.  And they don’t believe that they are worth anything.  They spend too many hours a day getting yelled at or picked on or teased or putting other people down and puffing themselves up so that they WON’T have those things happen to them.

They really just need someone to remind them that they are loved.

That THEY matter.

That they are beautiful – inside and out.

That they have a whole lifetime of possibility in front of them.

That this particular guy or situation or game or mistake will not haunt them forever.

My top goal in youth ministry this next year is to respond to every self put-down I hear/see/read.  I’m not going to let them get away with it.  The world tears us down too much to tear our own selves down.

And even if they won’t believe that they have anything to offer… I can remind them over and over again that that is okay, too.  That God takes us how we are and makes us amazing.  That even nobodies can be vessels for God’s glory and power.  In fact… being a nobody, being a misfit, being an outcast makes you perfectly suited for the work of the Holy Spirit. And that our Lord and Savior can take all of our pain and shame and anger and frustration and can hold it for us… can set us free and can help us really live.

Life is too short to belittle the love and the grace and the power of God that rests inside of me.  too beautiful to ignore all of my special gifts and quirks and talents.  I am a unique and wonderful creation, precious in his eyes. And each one of my youth are, too.  I’m going to remind them of that…

putting your money where your mouth is… even if it hurts

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Recently there has been a call on some of the social media outlets I follow… a call to take money out of the big banks.

As a part of the larger “occupy”movement, people are being asked to put their money where their mouth is… literally… and close their accounts with the the big guys on Wall Street and to move that money to local banks and community credit unions.  A link to the pledge can be found here: http://www.rebuildthedream.com/move-your-money/

I like this idea.  I appreciate local businesses. I like the accountability that comes when you are in personal contact with the people who take care of your money. I like that it is more than just feet on the ground complaining about things they don’t like, but people willing to make changes in their personal lives based upon the message they are preaching.

I don’t like what doing this would do to my personal credit rating.
When the pledge first crossed my desk, I immediately went and started searching for information on the statewide United Methodist supported credit union.  I looked at loan rates and credit card rates and started doing the math to see what kind of a personal financial impact it would have if I closed my accounts with the “big banks” and moved my debt and my checking account somewhere more local.

My Bank of America credit line has been around for over 11 years.  As a freshamn in college, I caved to the credit card pressure… but it was a “Working Assets” card – and they donated 1% every year to non-profits that you get to choose.  At the time, I justified my decision, thinking it was the “conscientious choice”… if I was going to have a credit card, that’s the one I wanted.  But they were bought out by the big guys and I’ve been with BoA ever since.  Because I have been with them for a while, and pay my bills faithfully, it is also my largest line of credit.

The only line of credit I have with Citigroup is fairly new… and I opened the card to transfer some balances with no interest so that I could work on paying off debt from college/seminary/long-distance-relationship-plane-tickets…

To close the first account and to open a new one would drastically reduce both my average age of open credit lines and my open card utilization percentage… thereby significantly affecting my credit score (especially since I have that newer line of credit from only a year ago).

To transfer balances would involve fees and especially with the Citigroup account, I still have another year of no interest and would rather spend that time paying off that little amount, rather than incurring another fee and having to pay interest.

Argh…

Sometimes, doing something that is seems right, hurts. Taking a stand involves personal cost. Finding the courage to literally put our money where our mouth is… priceless.

(sorry, I couldn’t resist).

But we should spend time wrestling with financial questions.

Where is my money invested?
Who benefits from my money/debt?
What kind of transformative change does the power of a single dollar have?

Does my bank align with my values?

What kind of damage does debt do to my spiritual life?

What does your spending say about your spiritual life?
All sorts of thoughts are rolling around in my head, all as a result of a little tweet.

#endthedeathpenalty

katiez – for all that we have done… and left undone. for all that we have said… and left unsaid. Lord have mercy. #deathpenalty
hughlh – “You can say they deserve to die, but the key moral question is ‘Do we deserve to kill?'” — Helen Prejean
Mike Oles – Mourning for America tonight. This shouldn’t happen here… And then I saw a slick pr ad for tar sand oil. Climate change or death penalty, it’s time to be organized and start winning all of these struggles.
Thom Dawkins – To (poorly, unfairly) paraphrase an acquaintance: We need mercy always, and tonight, we settled for justice. In the process, we’ve let ourselves become hardened and unjust.

AndAFool – Remember when Amos said “Let executions roll down like waters…”, or Jesus said “I have come to proclaim execution to the captives…”?

julieclawson – Today, on the Intl Day of Peace, the US blocked Palestinian statehood, executed 2 men, arrested Wall Street protestors and bombed Libya.

TerryRamoneSmit – “Only in the USA can you get away with being pro-war AND pro-death penalty and yet call yourself pro-life.” – @hughlh

lcleeland – I love this country, but not so much tonight. #troydavis

EugeneCho – I’m sorry for my vulgarity but if there’s ever an appropriate time to shout “F*ck” and turn tables, this would be the time. #troydavis

thinkprogress – “People who are well represented at trial do not get the death penalty.”– Ruth Bader Ginsburg

rabbijosh – “@thinkprogress: TroyDavis: Another man confessed. 7 eyewitnesses recanted. Police accused of coercing witnesses. No DNA. No murder weapon.”

matthewlkelley – in jesus, god shows that death does not have the last word. state sanction executions are the act of a kingdom whose reign will not last….

tamrenb – There is another Troy Davis in a cell somewhere in America. Pray for him.

megateer – Two men will have been executed tonight. One, very much guilty, another, guilt in much doubt. Even in stark contrast, #deathpenaltyiswrong .

timbrauhn – Restorative justice will someday reign in the America that I know and love. Compassion and truth will guide our path. RIP Troy Davis

nate_nims – Pray for Tory Davis, Georgia, the SCOTUS and true, restorative justice. #wearealltroydavis

godgrrl – #TroyDavis I could throw up. Ashamed.

laurenmroden – Praying for #troydavis, his fam & fam of Officer MacPhail. “To take a life when a life has been lost is revenge, not justice.” Desmond Tutu

NickKristof – When smart people debate whether or not a man should be executed, that’s a good reason not to execute him. #TroyDavis.

PastorBradS – MacPhail family, my heart aches for your lost, but the death of another human being won’t bring you peace. Only Christ can. #toomuchdoubt

amaeryllis – I really don’t understand the eagerness to execute. Justice is served at conviction, beyond that is just a test of our humanity.

tomtomorrow – rt @barryeisler Weird that the same people who don’t trust govt to administer health insurance do trust it to put people to death.

EdgeofSports – “@jeremyscahill: #TroyDavis RT @barryeisler See, there really are death panels in America. We’re watching one tonight in Georgia.”

AfroWonk – RT @KoriHaart: Dear Georgia, It is better to risk saving a guilty man than to condemn an innocent one. -Voltaire

revbrad – “We believe the death penalty denies the power of Christ to redeem, restore, and transform all human beings” -UM Discipline #TroyDavis

alphaleah – #TroyDavis #DeathPenalty : So the man has been lying on a gurney, ready to be wheeled into be killed, for TWO HOURS, while this goes on.
sallykohn  – Meanwhile, in Texas, Lawrence Russell Brewer executed at 7:21pm EST for dragging death of James Byrd

UnvirtuousAbbey – Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” #TroyDavis

JesusOfNaz316 – Grace > Justice System

Edpilkington – What’s clear is that we are still in the waiting game. I’m a wreck by now so how mist #TroyDavis be feeling?

Facebook parenting = 21st century coffee klatch

Whenever we went back to my grandma and grandpa’s house for holidays, the family gathered together in the living room and we told stories.  Or rather, as the babe in the room I listened to stories, while my aunts and uncles and my mom told about the adventures and misadventures they found themselves in growing up.
Many times, their stories ended like this:  “We thought we would get away with it, but by the time we got home, mom had already heard the news from her coffee klatch.”
Stay-at-home moms gathered together for coffee and swapped stories about parenting, shared news, offered encouragement, and yes, told their own stories.  They shared when there was a problem.  And all of your friends’ moms knew your business.  They were out there looking out for you.  Your mom did have eyes in the back of her head, and they belonged to Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Fields and Mrs. Rodgers down the street.
My parent’s generation grew up and when they became parents, both of them typically worked.  My own family lived out in the country and there wasn’t a neighborhood so to speak of for us to run around in.  Not that my mom would have time to be a part of a klatch anyways.  The closest they got was the parents that hung out together on the sidelines of soccer games and t-ball games and football games.  They became their own little community, but their interaction wasn’t on a daily basis and as children, we didn’t worry so much.
I am not a parent… and watching what kids in the world today deal with I’m not sure I want to be… but as I have watched over my youth and interacted with their parents, I have been intrigued by a new form of community parenting.  Facebook.
As our preteens and teenagers explore the world and interact with eachother, facebook has become an intergenerational site. Moms and dads and grandparents are all online now in ever increasing frequency.  And as our kids post about the dumb things they have done, they now get lectures from all sides.  Even if they are not friends with their parents online, they are with other adults who look out for them and try to push them in positive directions.
I watched with great interest the other day as one youth recounted how he had crashed his moped.  His mom posted something about being more careful and instantly she was backed up by three or four other parents who also were concerned and had their own advice to offer.
For parents who are at work during the day, but have access to the site through their cell phones or computers, Facebook is a way of keeping in touch with their kids wherever  they may be.  They daily talk with other parents.  They stay up to date on what is happening all around them.
Social media sometimes is blamed for increasing depersonalization, but in this little small town, it just might be the coffee klatch of the 21st century.