travel – Salvaged Faith

Sitting REALLY close #NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 16, 2015Leave a comment

Yesterday morning in worship, I had the opportunity to sit in the pews at the first church I served. While I had a part to play, I also got to sit back and worship with the people.

A toddler was next to me and at one point, he leaned in really close, and propped up against me. He sat there for some time, flipping through the hymnal upside down, completely unaware of the fact I was a total stranger to him. The lack of boundaries spoke to a sense of safety and comfort in the walls of the building we were celebrating.

This morning, I was on a flight and the entire time, my leg and arm and side touched the person next to me. Seats keep getting smaller and we keep getting bigger, after all. Perhaps it is the assumed loss of personal space on a flight that allows one to sit, so utterly close, and not be uncomfortable.

But I am also aware that there is something profoundly human about touch. It is real connection. You cannot ignore the other exists when you are touching.

At a meeting on Saturday, we expressed the prayers of our hearts as we remembered our baptism. Each had the opportunity to come to the font, touch the water and speak.

Yet, I also recognize now, a loss of an opportunity to touch another’s head or hand in the process.

Some of our prayers were so personal and deep that we needed to touch one another to offer comfort, strength, hope, solidarity. Unprompted, we neglected to do so.

How can we share such physical proximity with strangers and not do so with those with whom we are treading this journey of faith?

I found myself fighting an urge to get up and embrace a friend as she prayed, unsure of why I refrained. Our vulnerability in those moments begged for touch, for human connection. When I finally did so, rushing towards her, pulling her in my arms, even if for a brief moment, I felt like even though things in this world are utterly broken, all shall be well. Not in a pie-in-the sky naïve way, but in the hope and coherence that allows us to take one step forward.

Today, I gather with colleagues to talk about the role of religion in public health. Our bodies, physical touch, acknowledging the dignity of another person have to play a role.

Hold someone’s hand today. Touch their shoulder. Make eye contact. BE the BODY if CHRIST to one another.

Driving Behind a Trooper

Posted on May 1, 2013Leave a comment

I hopped on the interstate, fresh from an invigorating meeting, ready to put the pedal to the metal and get home. I had an hour and forty minute drive ahead of me, so with an energy drink and a bag of pretzels in my passenger seat I was prepared to settle in, set my cruise control at 76 and go.

Yes, I speed. Not excessively, but fast enough. Six or seven over…

And on Interstate-80, many do.

My dad always told me that if you aren’t going with the flow of traffic you are a hazard to other drivers.

So I flow.

I picked up speed coming from the onramp and fell in pace behind a number of vehicles. I set the cruise. I turned up NPR.

And then the tail lights ahead of me started turning red.

Slowing up.

Cautious.

State Trooper.

And not a trooper that sits in the median and everyone slows down for a few minutes and then keeps right on going…

No, this state trooper was driving, with the rest of us… at 71 miles per hour.

The cars traveling ahead of me gradually got into the right hand lane, directly behind the state trooper.

No one was passing.

And then there would be that vehicle coming up from the left, going 75 or 77 and they would zoom on by only to hit their own brakes, and slow up, and sheepishly get in line with everyone else.

I followed that state trooper for an hour and fifteen minutes, so I had a lot of time to think about how we behave when we think “big brother” is watching. When the authorities are present. When we suddenly feel the need to fall into line and be on our best behavior.

Having just come from a meeting with pastors and the Bishop, I thought about how we do this in ministry.

We may not have speed limits or fines for going too fast, but we sure do know how to stiffle creativity and cause people to fall in line.

Many times I have watched as things were just gaining momentum… Just as we start putting the pedal to the metal with risky new ministries, someone speaks up: you can’t do that. We watch someone else stumble and falter and fear creeps back in and we don’t take the risk. We slow down and take baby steps, rather than charge ahead.

And just like on the interstate… when everyone is going 71 mph, driving in the right hand lane, behind the state trooper… the passion, the energy, the thrill of the open road is gone. We get stagnant. We get in each others way. We get anxious. Brake lights come on over and over again. No one wants to get in trouble… but secretly we hope someone does so that the rest of us are off the hook for a little while. We are constantly aware of someone watching us and it limits what we are able to accomplish.

I’m not saying we need to break the rules… well, maybe… depends on what the rules are!

What I’m really trying to say is that we need to create room and space for risky ministry…. for open and free ministry… for ministry that is okay with failure and taking chances and trying things. We need to not be so concerned with the authorities who are watching and we need to feel free to do something creative and new in our local churches.

Who is going to be courageous enough to drive 73 or 74 and pass the trooper?

These things we try… they might not work. We might find ourselves a bit down the road and have to switch gears. That’s fine! But then, we need “authorities” who encourage and support those who are feeling the wind at their back and the spirit blowing them forward.

At one point on our drive, the trooper slowed down to 68 mph as he found himself behind a semi-truck. But he stayed there longer than he needed to.

One by one, cars moved into the left lane and picked up a little speed.

They passed.

They weren’t pulled over.

I think that might be called grace.

A little breathing room. Backing off a bit so that others can move forward freely. Flexibility. Awareness. Making space.

The open road awaits.

Dear "Sign Guy"…

Posted on April 21, 2013Leave a comment

As I drive north on 380 from home, there is a field right by the interstate that has a homespun billboard. For five years, I have been disappointed by the trite, sometimes offensive, and always partisan slogans that grace this sign.

Maybe part of my disappointment is there is no opportunity for relationship or conversation. What is the point of having a sign without a vehicle to interact? I want to know why this person thinks what they do, why they feel the need to so visually post their thoughts, and what impact they think they are making. Typically this kind of negative sloganism promotes further division rather than a bridging of opinions.

I actually saw him once, out there changing the words to “Obummer… more lies” (with the iconc ‘O’ of the Obama campaign”) one day as I drove whizzing past. I must admit feeling… well, not ill thoughts towards this gentleman, but certainly not pleasant ones. I do remember exclaiming, “really?” on one of my last drives.

But today when I drove by, I was more than pleasantly surprised. In place of the usual partisan soundbyte was a sign that read:

God bless medical workers.

My feelings about this person increased a hundred-fold. Who is this guy? Why the switch to a positive message? What would happen if instead of spewing spin and negative slandars we took more time to pray together, to celebrate good work, to point to where God is active?

My entire drive I thought about that sign.

I thought about my family members who work in the healthcare industry. I thought about doctors and nurses who had cared for me and for loved ones. I thought about all the medical professionals involved in the tragedies this week in Boson, MA and West, TX. I thought about those who are working to fight malaria.

I don’t know whose sign it is.

I’m not any closer to relationship with that man.

But he is in my prayers tonight. I thank God for some good words on a long drive and for a perceived change in attitude.

I am hoping the next sign inspires me as much as this last one.

Coffee making ladies…

Posted on April 14, 2013Leave a comment

Tonight I had a presentation scheduled in Tama/Toledo. These two little towns are so close I can’t tell where one ends and the other begins. And based on my introductory sentence, you might guess that I wasn’t exactly sure which one I was supposed to be in!

You see, many little towns in Iowa still have more than one United Methodist Church because one of them was Methodist and the other was Evangelical United Brethren. Both became UMC and they never joined. Many of these churches are now part of multi-point charges served by the same pastor, who often work together..

Long story short… I found myself parked outside of the Toledo worship center half an hour before the presentation. All the doors were locked and the lights were off.

I gave them 10 more minutes and then started trying to find the pastor’s number in old emails. About that time, he called me and I instantly realized I was at the wrong building of this four-point charge.

I should have known something was wrong, because the little old ladies in churches like this always show up at least half an hour early to start the coffee pot.

Back in the car, down the road a few miles to Tama, and all was well.

Life on the Road

Posted on November 27, 2012Leave a comment

When I accepted the position as a coordinator of Imagine No Malaria, someone asked what it was like to no longer be serving a church. My response back was that I’m not serving one church… I’m serving nearly 800 of them!

It is exciting to be working with so many new people and communities of faith. I am learning a lot about how different churches operate and what they expect of the conference… both as far as what they can give and what they receive. I am finding creative new possibilities, folks who are eager to serve and who have profoud stories to share. I hear those familiar, tired, overworked and burnt out voices, too… the ones who are hungry for a new injection of life and/or for fresh blood to come in and lend a hand. I’m witnessing the church with all of its glory and warts. It is beautiful.

But I am also spending a lot of time on Interstates 80 and 35 and Hwy 20. My butt is carving out a dent in the driver’s seat of my car. My trunk is full of flyers and training materials and my backseat is littered with McDonald’s bags. (I really need to work on finding more out of the way, hometown, local places to eat). In three days, I’ll be in five different cities doing the work of Imagine No Malaria. It is exciting, but as I type up this post, I’m sitting in a hotel room far from home. I found myself last week fully expecting to see my cat sitting on the edge of the bed, only to remember I was all by myself.

The trainings I have been leading have been good. I’m learning a lot even as we are building some connections and support in each district. The more we do, the more I realize how far we have to go. There is a lot of road left in front of us!

Don’t Try… DO! #reverb10

Posted on December 18, 2010Leave a comment

For me, the word try has some negative connotations. As in – if you are trying to do something, you aren’t really, actually, doing it.
Kaileen Elise challegned us today:

December 18 – Try What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

My mind is a wash of a lot of things that I want to do, see, learn in the next year. I want to learn how to play the guitar. I want to lose 15 lbs and tone up some muscles and maintain that physique. I want to take writing more seriously. Professionally speaking, I want to empower my laity so that I don’t have to write the agendas for all of our meetings. I want a deeper relationship with God through prayer and stillness. I want to spend more time with my family

But as I think about all of those things, nothing strikes me as something to try at… either I’m going to do them, or I’m not.

So trying… what would I want to try? What would I want to explore? What do I want to collisally fail at? What do I want to take a chance on and see if maybe, possibly, I like it? What kind of one-shot experience do I want for 2011?

I have to admit, I wasn’t feeling very creative when I started thinking about this. In fact, I avoided the prompt all day long hoping for some inspiration. Finally, I got desperate. I googled… don’t laugh… “things to try.”

And I found a bunch of really interesting stuff!!!

First up, 10 frugal things to try before you die. I have to admit – I’ve done a number of these things already. Goodwill and Stuff,Etc. are staples for bargain hunting clothes. I’ve also been dumpster diving before. And I regularly try to salvage the fruits and veggies in my fridge that are going a little south…. maybe that’s not the same thing as “slumming” it… but it’s close! I can sew, knit, and crochet. So I’m doing pretty good on this list. Although, the drip tray pint might be an adventure that I can add to my list?

Next, Things to try at Wal-Mart when you are bored. Self-explanatory. But nothing that I really want to do… maybe if I were ten years younger.

There are a ton of bucket-lists out there, including this one, and this one, and oh yeah, this one.

Some highlights on those – things that actually might be possible for me in the next year:

have your portrait painted… I’ve never done this – not even those cartoon drawings at Adventureland.
run a marathon… How about run a 5k -that’s definately something to add to my list.
make love on the kitchen floor… yep.
make a hole in one… I don’t golf (oh, that’s another one to add to the list) – but I do disc golf and making an ace would be amazing… it’s definately something to try and shoot for!
play a round of golf… see above.
be someone’s mentor… being a young person, that hasn’t really been an opportunity for me yet – except there is this thing called reverse mentoring and a colleage and I are going to do it this next year
visit New York City… definately on my list. In fact, I would like to take a trip to the northeast in general this next year.
go skiing… I have never been snow skiing in my life. That’s a great thing I could try next year.
fly first class… this would definately be fun. something to experience, something I can probably afford to do only once =)
wear more dresses… I love dresses, but finding good ones that are staples for a wardrobe is hard – this might be a fun thing to try!
cook with herbs from my own garden… I have yet to grow herbs and this would be an awesome thing to try for next year!
try to cook a national food… this one inspired me to think about getting the kolach recipe from my recipe box and actually attempting to bake them myself.

Hmm… that’s a pretty good list of things to try! Possible things. Fun things. Some of them easy to accomplish. Some of them that might take some planning.

Is there anything like that from 2010?

Probably hiking up Koko Head Crater. It was something I always wanted to do and I finally did it, barely. That’s something I’ve talked about in a few of these other reverb10 posts.

I sang a solo in church, twice this year, which was quite an accomplishment for me. It was a little scary, but I actually did it! The first time was for a Good Friday Tenebrae service, and the second time I busted out a song as a part of my sermon – a capella!!!

Another big accomplishment for me this year is that I decided to try and make a full scale blanket by crocheting/knitting. It was a huge success and I’m now working on number three!!! A big step up from the scarves – which were my only prior attempts.

traveling light

Posted on November 12, 2009Leave a comment

This morning I embark on a trip to Indy for emergingumc 2.0. And although it’s a three day thing – I’m taking with me just one bag… my carryon. I’m packing light. I have just the basics. And it feels good.

Not that getting through security in our little city is difficult or anything. But if I don’t need it, then why bother? I have my toiletries, clothes for two more days, my laptop and a book. I’m set.

Liz Martin/The Gazette

I breezed through security. Well, almost breezed through. I brought my water bottle – thinking it would come in handy at the conference and the lady at the checkpoint very kindly told me that I couldn’t take the content through. she suggested I water the plants with it. What a great idea! So I did, and then I breezed through the rest.

It had been a while since I have flown. Maybe two years? It used to be such a common occurance in my life that it has been easy to slip back into familiar patterns. Laptop in handy neoprene sleeve? check. toiletries in baggie? check. I.D. out with boarding pass so they can do their fancy light wand thingy (which was new)? check. Awesome airport cafe with free wi-fi? check. Btw – that awesome mural spins – very slowly – but it makes a very neat and pretty calming effect.

It’s nice to get away for a day or two. And what I’m realizing is that I’m not only traveling light luggage wise, but also with very little emotional weight. My husband and I got a dent made in our leaves yesterday and even more importantly – we had a lot of fun working together on that project. My life has been crazy busy lately and we have been on slightly different schedules – so it was nice to spend that time with one another. Worship is all taken care of for Sunday – and I don’t have a sermon to write. I got to watch glee last night which always makes me happy. And there is a cup of coffee in my hand. And the guy with the laptop at the other table is listening to “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas. The sky is clear blue. I’m feeling great. (although my back does hurt a little from using unexercised muscles raking).

FF: Bucket List

Posted on April 24, 20092 Comments

From Rev Gals: Do you have a “Bucket List”? In other words, from the movie of
the same name, five things you want to see, do, accomplish, etc. before you kick
the bucket?

I actually don’t have a “bucket list”! I have a friend who I know has all of these lists of things that she wants to accomplish in her lifetime, but I have never ever sat down to make a list of those kind of hopes and dreams. I am actually having a really hard time coming up with a list, but here goes (these things are subject to change!)

visit the Czech Republic with my Babi.
Visit NYC and see a show on Broadway.
learn to play guitar ( I know… this is one I’m working on already – but it’s going to take me a while!) and lead worship at my church with the guitar.
plant and grow all of my fruits and veggies for a year in my own garden.
be a mom. (we are hoping to have two kids, but right now my hubby’s totally not ready for them)