work – Salvaged Faith

Deeper Water

Posted on March 8, 2020Leave a comment

Text: Matthew 18:18-20, Luke 5:1-10

I’ll often come across a quote or a few paragraphs in a devotional that I’ll save for later, thinking – Ahh! This will make a good sermon illustration!

Today, as we think a little bit about diving into deeper water in our prayer lives, I remembered a story told by the seventeenth century French mystic Jeanne Guyon in her book, “Experiencing the Depths of Christ.”

But before I get to her writing, a little about Madame Guyon herself.

She grew up very religious, spending much of her childhood in a convent until she was forced into an arranged marriage at the age of 15.

By the age of 28, Madame Guyon was a wealthy widow with three surviving children.

But the piety of her youth was what drove her and she continued to have mystical experiences of God. She felt called to share these teachings and eventually left her children into their grandmother’s care and left behind most of her personal possessions to do so.

At one point, Guyon was imprisoned for her teachings on prayer, which focused on constant prayer and inward stillness which brings us into the presence of God. Her writings were considered heresy at the time because they prioritized stillness over vocal prayer and pious action.

So imagine this woman, who has not had an easy life. But through it all, she believed God was with her in the midst of her trials and suffering. Madam Guyon wanted others to experience the depths of a relationship with God that she herself had found.

She tells the story of a traveler who has embarked on a long journey… a quest of sorts. But when the man comes to the first inn along the way, he stops there and remains there forever.

Why?

“He has been told that many travelers have come this way and have stayed at this very inn; even the master of the house once dwelt here… Oh soul! All that is wished for you is that you press toward the end… Only remember this: Do not stop at the first stage.” (Guyon, Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ)

Do not stop at the first stage.

I wonder how many of us have stopped at the first stage of our prayer lives.

We recite the Lord’s prayer.

We have a few prayers we turn to before meals.

We might even have a daily devotional we pick up a few times a week that includes a prayer at the end of every reading.

But for many of us, we pray in much the same ways we did as children.

We learned some of the basics of prayer and then stopped at that stage along the way.

We forgot about our destination, what we were striving for in the first place: a life spent in the presence of God and a faith connected with the power of God.

While we spend a lot of time thinking about the prayer that Jesus taught us, we forget what else Jesus taught us about prayer.

Ask and it will be given to you.

Seek and you will find.

Knock and the door will be opened (Matthew 7:7-8 and Luke 11:9)

If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can move mountains… nothing will be impossible (Mt 17:20)

If we ask for anything in agreement with God’s will, God listens to us… we know that we have received what we asked from God. (1 John 14-15)

And from our gospel reading today:

What your bind or loosen on earth will be bound or loosened in heaven.

When just two of us get together and pray about something, God goes into action in response. (Matthew 18:18-19)

If we pray… stuff will happen!

Not little stuff… BIG. GIGANTIC. POWERFUL. MOUNTAIN SIZED stuff!

That’s what scripture tells us.

That’s what Jesus keeps reminding us.

Prayer is powerful.

So why is it such an after thought?

Even in the church, this institution dedicated to the teachings of Jesus, prayer seems to be icing on the cake, rather than the main course.

Think about our typical response to things.

When we see a problem or we have a goal, we create a team!

We have meetings and we plan and organize and we get approval.

And then we work.

We work our tails off trying to make something happen.

And at the end of the day we find ourselves so busy and exhausted and barely one step farther along the way.

Maybe, MAYBE, we had a devotion and a prayer at some step along that journey.

But not always. And not often. And not primarily.

Martha Grace Reese reminds us that churches are not declining or struggling because we are lazy.

We work really hard.

Maybe the problem is that we aren’t praying as much as we work.

In Luke’s gospel, Simon and James and John found themselves in this very situation.

They were hard workers.

They had been up all night and put in the hours.

And yet, they had nothing to show for it.

Until they listened to Jesus’ invitation to go a little deeper.

To row out a little farther.

To push beyond what they had always done.

Was it simply that there were more fish out deeper in the water?

Surely, that can’t be it… for they knew these waters like the back of their hand.

Was it that they just put in more hours of work?

A whole nights worth of effort didn’t accomplish what miraculously came in through one toss.

No, what changed is that they had spent some time with Jesus.

And they listened to what Jesus asked of them.

In “Unbinding the Heart,” Reese shares the story of the Benton Street Christian Church and their evangelism team.

As they got started in their work, Reese asked them to not make any decisions for three months to but simply spend their time in prayer.

This was incredibly difficult for this church full of do-ers and they got frustrated that the only thing they could report was that they were praying… but they did it.

They got together and prayed.

They prayed between meetings.

They prayed every day.

They got teased a little… but then they started getting prayer requests.

And by the time their three months of prayer was done, they had vision and energy and direction and one month later had fifty people involved in the ministry.

As one of the volunteers later said, “It was incredibly difficult for these four ‘can-do’ women to wait in prayer… a year and a half later, all four of us would say our prayer lives have been permanently impacted by this experiment… the entire church is still being impacted by this willingness to risk praying first.” (p30)

Isn’t that a funny phrase…. To risk praying first?

What risk is there in praying first?

What risk is there in stopping to ask God to be present and to guide our work?

I’ll tell you what the risk is…

Something might happen.

Something might change.

And it just might be us.

Richard Foster once wrote, “prayer is the central avenue God uses to change us. If we are unwilling to change, we will abandon prayer as a noticeable characteristic of our lives.”

Or to put it another way, if we are content with the status quo, we are probably not people who turn to prayer a lot in our lives.

The opposite is also true.

If we believe God is active in the world…

If we see that something needs to change…

If we want to transform our very way of being in the world…

Then prayer has to be part of the process.

It is key to the journey.

It isn’t just one stop along the way…. It is the very road beneath our feet.

Two weeks ago, our church leadership team thought together about the work we have before us this year and the role and responsibilities each of us will play along the way.

One of the things that we focused on was our vision statement.

Can we read that aloud together?

Through personal engagement in and partnership with our community, we will live a life of love, service, and prayer, so that all who hunger might be fed by God’s grace.

We’ve been working hard on making this happen.

We try to create opportunities for people to personally engage and reach out to our partners like CFUM and Women at the Well and Simpson Youth Academy.

We focus on physical hunger through our food pantry and meal programs.

We reach out to meet that hunger for connection and relationship.

But do you know what we haven’t done.

We haven’t invited all of you to pray about this vision.

We haven’t stopped to ask God to help us accomplish this work.

As much as we talk about love, service, and prayer… as much as we even practice intercessory prayer for one another’s joys and concerns… we have not prayed as a community for our work together as a church.

It’s almost as if we took all of the power of God to bring fruit and change and life to our congregation and we locked it up in a box.

Today… let’s set the power of prayer free.

Let’s let the good news of Christ loose on the world.

Let’s turn this work over to Jesus.

Just as Christ urged Peter, James and John out into deeper waters, this next week, each day you’ll get an email inviting you to pray for Immanuel.

Not just for our people.

But for the vision God has given us.

For the work before us.

Let’s not stop at the first stage.

Let’s not be content resting before our journey is complete.

But together, let us keep pressing onward, deeper, out into that place where the presence and power of God can truly change us and this world.

May it be so. Amen.

What’s Mine is Yours

Posted on May 20, 2018Leave a comment

Later this morning, our church will welcome nine new members.

These young people have been working hard all year long to learn more about the faith that we hold together. And they will stand before the congregation at our second service this morning and will confirm and profess that faith for themselves.

While a few of them are newer additions to this congregation, most of these students were born into this family, were baptized right here at Immanuel, and have long been a part of this community of faith.

In our last class, we sat and read together from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. The same passage that we heard just a few minutes ago.

And we remembered that at the beginning of the confirmation year, we were different people, from different schools, different ages. But throughout the course of the year, Jesus broke down the barriers between us and created a new person out of our group.

So now they are no longer strangers.

And thanks to the amazing work of our mentors, they now have some connections across generations. Through their volunteer work this past year, they have joined Immanuel members serving at CFUM and Joppa and have helped lead worship and have shared their gifts of music with the church. They’ve come to committee meetings and have used their voices and ideas to help shape who we are and where we are going.

They belong to God’s household. This church, this community of faith that has Jesus himself as the cornerstone.

Throughout this Easter season, we have been thinking together about what it means to abide in God, to make a home in God, to interact with one another in this community of faith as family. And what I love about this passage from Ephesians is that it is yet another reminder that “Christ is building us into a place where God lives through the Spirit.”

We don’t always talk about the power of the Holy Spirit, but on a day like today, that Holy Spirit takes center stage.

On this day of Pentecost, fifty days after the resurrection, we remember that the Holy Spirit came upon those first disciples like tongues of fire.

It filled them, it transformed them, it gave them abilities of which they never knew they were capable!

That day, God turned those apostles into the foundation of God’s home.

And ever since then, God has been building a glorious temple.

Brick by brick.

Person by person.

Christ has been building us into a place where God lives through the Spirit.

In John’s gospel, Jesus was preparing to say goodbye to the disciples. He knew that the end of his earthly ministry had come, and he was trying to get them ready for what came next.

And Jesus promised that a Companion would come, the Spirit of Truth, who will not only testify about Jesus, but would pass on all of the things that Jesus himself had received from the Father.

He is telling the disciples, what was mine, is now yours, through the power of the Holy Spirit.

My ministry… it’s now yours.

My love… it’s now yours to give.

Healing power… it’s now yours to share.

The good news of the gospel… it’s now yours to tell.

The work of Jesus Christ continues through the disciples through the power of the Holy Spirit.

And friends… it continues through you as well.

This was not a one-time offer for a select group of individuals who lived a very long time ago.

No, Jesus is telling us that through the power of the Holy Spirit he will continue to live in every person who believes.

The church is not a physical place, a structure, where we gather once a week for an hour.

The church is a people, as that good old hymn reminds us, a people that are filled with the Holy Spirit and who testify to the good news of Jesus Christ and in whom God lives and moves and cares for the world.

As Emmanuel Lartey writes in his commentary, “The Holy Spirit connects the creative genius of the Father with the redemptive love of the Son and the courageous witness of the church.”

Bishop John V. Taylor describes the Spirit as the “Go-between God” – “connecting the past and future in a present full of meaning.”

This story does not exist solely in the past. It is not something we recite or remember.

This is OUR story.

It is still being written and conceived.

It is being lived out through our very actions in the world.

The Holy Spirit is present in this place, right here, right now, and Christ is building us into a place where God lives.

And just as you could probably name the spiritual forefathers and foremothers of your faith… Our confirmands look to so many of you as the foundation of their own faith journey.

You are the strong support upon which their generation stands.

You have taken what you have received from God through Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit and you have shared it with them.

You’ve given your prayers.

You’ve shared your time.

You’ve provided food and encouragement and smiles.

You’ve said – “what’s mine is yours.”

And already, these confirmands are themselves part of this temple that God is building, giving support, lending insight, helping to form the faith of not only one another, but also their mentors.

There is one bad habit that we have as the church however.

We tend to think of confirmation as a graduation – the end of a journey – instead of the beginning.

And we tend to think that once we have joined the church, that’s it, we’re doing growing and learning and letting the Holy Spirit move us.

Or maybe we think that once we’ve been a teacher or a mentor, or once we’ve retired, or once we’ve reach a certain age, THEN is when we’ve reached the end of this journey and we can be done growing and letting God us us.

But friends…

No matter where you are in your faith journey…

No matter how young or old you are…

Whether this is the day of your confirmation or the 50^th anniversary of your confirmation…

God still lives in you.

The ministry of Jesus is still yours to undertake.

The Holy Spirit still has work for you to do!

Your ministry might change through time… You might gain new skills and take on new challenges or you might retire from some things to let others have a voice…

But God is never done with you.

This community will always need your presence, your prayers, your gifts, your service, and your witness.

Christ is building us into a place where God lives through the Holy Spirit.

I believe that God lives here.

I believe that the power of the Spirit can help us do amazing things.

I believe that this church makes the love of Christ known in this world.

This is where God lives.

Thanks be to God. Amen.

Dirt, plants, and hope #gc2016

Posted on May 7, 2016Leave a comment

In the Scriptures, Jeremiah buys a field as the Babylonians are on the doorstep. It is a symbol of hope, promise, and faithfulness.

The Lord of heavenly forces, the God of Israel, proclaims: Houses, fields, and vineyards will again be bought in this land. – Jeremiah 35:15

One of the last things on my to do list before heading to General Conference was getting my garden in. Seedlings that had to get in the ground. Things that needed started before it was too late.

With all of the prep work… Which includes all of the pre-work at church so I can be gone for two weeks… I was a bit behind.

I found a few hours between yesterday and today to dig some holes and set some plants to growing.

And as I looked out at the garden… all bare dirt with teeny plants… I thought about Jeremiah. Knowing that after this time away, life will resume is a good feeling. Hope, promise, homes, work, all will be back.

The time away has a purpose.
But it is not an end.
It is not everything.

Life will be waiting.

And hopefully some lettuce and strawberries, too!

Momentum for Life: God Loves You Too Much To Let You Stay There

Posted on January 19, 20161 Comment

God loves you just the way you are… and loves you too much to let you stay there.

Those words I heard from Anne Lamott in a lecture she gave at my seminary.

God loves you just the way you are… and loves you too much to let you stay there.

I have really enjoyed diving into Michael Slaughter’s book “Momentum for Life” this January. I think in many ways, he is speaking the same message as Lamott. He is reminding us that God has all sorts of things planned for our lives… a direction, a purpose, a mission.

Slaughter is inviting us to make a commitment and to discover where God is leading us… how God is changing us… through his acronym D.R.I.V.E.

D for Devotion

R for Readiness to Learn

I for Investing in Relationships

V for Vision

and E for Eating and Exercise.

Each of these qualities describe a committed Christian disciple who knows that God loves them just as they are, but who is willing to let God lead them to where they could be.

Over the last two weeks, Pastor Todd has been guiding us through both the concept of Momentum and the first characteristic, Devotion.

So today, we turn our attention to this concept of readiness to learn.

What I find fascinating about Slaughter’s emphasis on learning is that he connects it with our working life. Or maybe to put it a different way, our life’s work.

Now, just a quick survey here.

How many of you have a job you love, that fulfills your life’s passion and gives you a sense of purpose?

And how many of you have a job that pays the bills?

And of course, there are those of us who don’t work, either because we stay at home or are retired or are in school or simply can’t find work at this time.

Some of us are lucky enough to get paid for what Slaughter calls “our life work.” But for others of us, that life work can still be lived out on the job site, in our families, and throughout our communities.

Slaughter describes three characteristics of this life work: that it is creative, redemptive, and innovative.

But I think all three of these can be boiled down to one idea: He is calling us to let God’s sanctifying grace pour into everything we do.

In October, our ten confirmands and their mentors and teachers went on a retreat to Wesley Woods. Over those 48 hours or so, we covered many of the basics of United Methodist theology and teaching… from the creation to the new creation, from repentance to sanctification. We learned a LOT of really big, complicated words over that weekend and to help us remember them, the youth prepared some really amazing skits, drew pictures, and journaled.

But we also had some helpful metaphors to help us.

One of them is a depiction of grace in our United Methodist tradition.

house of grace

We believe that grace is not just a one time thing that happens to us, but is present all throughout our lives.

Before we are even aware of God, prevenient grace is there… preparing us to know and see God. It is like the front porch of a house… there to welcome us and create space for us to enter the Christian life. This idea of prevenient grace is why we baptize even newborn babies… because we believe God is already working in their life. Remember – God loves us just the way we are!

At some point, we consciously choose the grace God has offered to us. We call that justifying grace. It describes the moment when we accept God’s acceptance of us. In some faith traditions, people hold on to and celebrate the day, hour, and minute when they were saved and they are describing the door we have in this blueprint. That door is always open and waiting for us… and some of us walk through early in life and some late and some of us linger in the doorway for a long time.

The last kind of grace, and the one I think Slaughter is referring to in this chapter is sanctifying grace. It is the commitment to keep growing, to keep learning, to keep going on to perfection as we live in God’s grace and love. You see… our Christian journey does not come to an end when we enter the house. We have a whole lifetime of grace awaiting us and God loves us too much to let us stay exactly as we were when we entered.

This grace is what Paul is speaking of in his letter to the Philippians we heard this morning. He starts in our reading to describe justifying grace… the righteousness of Christ he received. But he doesn’t end there. No, he writes:

It’s not that I have already reached this goal or have already been perfected, but I pursue it, so that I may grab hold of it because Christ grabbed hold of me for just this purpose… I forget about the things behind me and reach out for the things ahead of me… God’s upward call in Christ Jesus. (12-14)

Our life work is to let God’s sanctifying grace fill all that we do.

If we close our lives to God’s grace… if we say to God – “Thanks for dying on the cross, thank you for salvation, but I’ll take it from here,” then we are like those described in Psalm 127… we can work and toil all we want, right where we are, and never go anywhere. It’s like we walk through the doorway of grace, but refuse to live in the house!

That’s what Paul had been doing back when he was the Pharisee, Saul. He had all of the right answers. He knew what he was doing and who he was. He was at the top of his game, an expert in the law, and successful beyond all measure.

He thought he knew what it meant to be faithful and thought he had achieved it.

Until he discovered that learning and seeking and changing is more important than having all the right answers.

Until he learned that growing is more important than knowing.

Until he found it’s not what you know, it is who you know.

God loves you just the way you are… and loves you too much to let you stay there.

No matter who you are, or what you do, God can use you. God can pour sanctifying grace into your life to transform even the most mundane or ordinary moments.

And that means we have to keep growing. We have to let go of what no longer works. We have to always seek what God is doing next. “We must forget what lies behind and stain forward to what lies ahead.” One of the practices Slaughter suggests for us is that we are always reading something. We never stop learning. We always are growing in our awareness of what is going on in the world and the new insights that others have to offer.

And it means we choose to participate in God’s redeeming work – to allow God’s love to fill all that we do and every person we meet so that our work is not in the service of money but in the service of God. Slaughter invites us to observe all the time… to look out for those who can teach us, but also to become aware every day of those opportunities to practice God’s redeeming love. In that way, we discover life work that seeks the good for others, instead of simply ourselves.

Finally, we were made to be creative… to dream and imagine, to nurture and to help life grow. You and I… we were made in the image of God and that means God has invited us to be cocreators, to open our minds, to keep pushing forward to excellence. And that means we need to roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty… to keep practicing and seeking God every day, never content with what we have already accomplished.

Because even though God loves you just the way you are… God loves you too much to let you stay there.

The itch

Posted on July 7, 20152 Comments

Last week, I got into some poison ivy.

First, on the disc golf course as we were looking for a shot that was too long and in the rough. I noticed it after traipsing through.

Then, in my very own backyard. We had a gigantic bush of the stuff, all viney and spread out everywhere. I donned my long sleeved shirt and latex gloves and washed everything immediately after pulling the ivy out and tossing it in a garbage bag.

But 2-3 days later, the bumps have arrived. The itchy, red, gross bumps. A streak on my leg. Both of my wrists, a few fingers and a blotch on the top of one arm.

Last year, I covered myself with this pink itch relief cream, but in reality, it didn’t really help, so I’m toughing it out.

And here is what I have figured out: If I’m busy with something… if I’m watching television or writing or working out in the garden, I don’t notice the itch. But as soon as I stop, I can’t stop thinking about scratching!

I have had another itch as well. The itch to get back to work. And that itch has been a little bit stronger. Any time my mind is clear… as I’m pulling weeds or sitting at the computer waiting for inspiration to hit on the writing or driving in the car, I can’t stop thinking about what I’m going to do when I get back to Immanuel next week.

For me, that itch is much healthier. It is a sign that I’m doing the work I am called to do. It is a sign that this has been a good time away where I could clarify and focus on things in a new way. It is a sign that God has been in the midst of this time and that I need to honor the things I have discovered about myself, my relationships, and my calling when I return.

In fact, I had to make a list on my phone. Every time inspiration strikes, it goes on the list.

It helps soothe the itch for a while so I can get back to resting and renewing.

It's a coaching problem…

Posted on January 21, 20152 Comments

I was recently talking with a colleague about the fear/frustration that church members think we, as the pastors and staff, are the ones who do ministry.

Obviously, since we are the ones getting the paycheck, we should be the ones out making new disciples and teaching and being prophetic and visiting the sick and all of those other things churches do.

In that scenario, it is the congregation’s job to sit back, complain if something isn’t happening (like growth), and financially support the work.

Our job, however, is not to do the work, but to call and equip the laity (the people) to share in the work.

Using a sports analogy, I guess you could say we are a lot more like coaches than players. We are paid to look at the gifts and talents of our players, to train them, to condition them, to challenge them to grow, but they are the ones who play the game.

We can stand on the sidelines and encourage. We can call timeout and give advice and lay out a new strategy (pastoral care). Coaches review game films and get the team ready for the opponent (bible study). We can hold practices where the players learn the essential elements of the game.Worship is such a time where we learn to pass the peace, confessing and forgiving, and hear a pep talk about how to play.

What I love about this analogy is that most coaches have a season of recruitment where they go out and build relationships with people and build a team. So, evangelism and community engagement are an important part of our job.

But then the church has to go out there and play. Out to their schools and homes and workplaces and golf courses and hospitals and homeless shelters.

As a sports fan in the Hawkeye State, there is a lot of armchair coaching that goes on in my house.

Some days are better than others.

During football season, we’d cry out, “put Sunshine in!”

Watching ISU miss free throws makes you want to pull out your hair.

I’m not even going to discuss the Hawkeye loss last night. I can’t even….

But at some point, you have to stop looking at the players, and you have to ask what is going on with the coaching.

The same can be asked of the church.

When we see a church declining or in financial trouble or stagnant, we have to ask what is happening with the coaching.

Part of the problem is that as pastors, we forget we are supposed to be coaches.

We get bogged down in meetings and administration and in the pressure to go out there and bring people into the church and don’t always make time for one-on-one coaching sessions.

We sometimes worry about how the music or sermon will be perceived, rather than how it will shape and form the congregation.

It seems to be easier to make the visits to the sick and home bound than to train up the laity to care for one another as an act of Christian love (and to train them to receive care from one another).

And sometimes, we simply assume the “team” is playing fine so we fail to change the line-up. Maybe that’s the hardest one. With good and faithful people serving in a particular ministry area, we are afraid to inject new leadership, or worry more about how someone will feel if they are benched… even if it is better for the mission and work of our church.

And then, in some churches, we find that we are coaches who don’t have a team in the church, but a booster club. We have people who think they are fans rather than the starting line. And the coaching mistake is that we let it happen or continue to happen.

Maybe its time to run some laps and do wind sprints and shoot a thousand free-throws.

Maybe what we need is a good hard season of practice.

D-I-Y Pastoring #NaBloPoMo

Posted on November 5, 20141 Comment

My first church had one person on staff… myself. So, I painted and cooked and folded bulletins with a very tiny army of volunteers… in between the “pastoral” work.

And I’ve always been a roll-up-the-sleeves kind of person. I stick around to help out. I wash dishes. It is who I am.

In the past week, I’ve helped paint our nursery and moved stuff around. I made copies. I cut out commitment cards. Not because there weren’t people who couldn’t do it, but because I’m hands on. I want to help.

Along the way, I’m discovering that makes me an unusual lead pastor or head of staff. I have blogged about postmodern leadership styles before and I am reminded of Frodo-like leaders… who need a team around them. Lots of skills working toward a common goal. A journey we take together, wearing different hats along the way. Discovering who we are as we go along the road.

As I paint and fold and cut, I allow others to let their gifts shine. I demonstrate my willingness to not only meet them where they are, but join them in their experience. And I’m able to hear their stories as we work alongside each other and build relationships.

Can I add… there is something awfully rewarding about defeating a copy machine and getting the brochures all done. Or listening in as children walk by the new nursery and squeal with excitement.

What a crazy and wonderful job I have.

Turning It Off

Posted on November 11, 2013Leave a comment

The balance of self-care, Sabbath, and work is sometimes a tenuous one in my life so I try to set boundaries and guidelines for myself.

They are:

never work more than two blocks in a day (morning, afternoon, evening)
take two days off every week
take all of the vacation time allotted to me

The easiest to follow probably has to do with vacation time. My family has planned some vacations together and setting aside those weeks to go and be with them has made it easy to take full advantage of the time given.

One of the ways that I try to honor my commitment to take two days off every weeks it to be flexible about which days those are. With my work as a state-wide coordinator, my schedule varies greatly. Sometimes those days off are a full Saturday and Sunday. Sometimes I move them around and take time in the middle of the week instead.

The same goes with the two blocks in a day. To allow for the chaos of ministry, focusing on those two blocks means I can sleep in after late evening meetings, or take an afternoon off to play disc golf if I know I’m going to be working the rest of the day. If in a particular day, it is not possible, then I steal a block from another day and make space for two blocks of rest then. At least, that’s the idea.

Lately, however, I’ve been struggling.

It is a blessing and a curse to do work that you love, because while it is incredibly fulfilling, it is also very hard to put down. I have been fed by and energized by this work and there is always so much to do. It is never-ending work and while I trust in God’s working even when I take time to rest, I really don’t want to stop! And I’ve been discovering that there are a few particular things that make this idea of rest even more difficult. It’s hard to turn off your brain. It’s hard to turn off the phone. It’s hard to turn off the computer.

Imagine No Malaria has provided an outlet for a lot of creativity in my life. I’m doing graphics, website design, social media, writing – all sorts of things I love. And I could tinker with graphics and websites eternally. I’ll wake up with an idea about how to sell an idea or a plan to present something and those ideas don’t stop when I’m baking or hanging out with friends. I have scraps of paper littering my desk with ideas and to-dos of things I have thought up at random moments. More often than not, I’ve been in my office, working hard and forget to stop for lunch or lose track of time and need to be reminded by my husband it’s dinner time. When you love what you do, it’s hard to turn off the brain and let go of the work.

I’ve also noticed that working from home, the technology I use day in and day out makes it harder to find balance. When I hop on the computer on a day off to check my personal facebook account, I also find myself glancing at the project page or responding to a question someone posted. When I left something open on the desktop and come downstairs in the morning (even if I’m taking that morning off), I find my eyes drifting to it and starting to work on it even when I didn’t intend to. My office is also the place where I play video games and listen to music and practice guitar. It is not some separate place I can close the door on and leave behind. My car takes me to speaking events and to the grocery store… and glancing in the back seat on a day off I’ll notice that thing that I had forgotten and will go home and pick up the piece of work instead of letting it rest.

And then there is my phone. I’m typically okay at screening phone calls and letting them go to voice mail on days off… at least when I was in the local church. But it’s a lot harder to do that when it’s the Bishop who is dialing your number. It’s hard to ignore the blinking blue light on my phone that indicates a new email. I’m not getting emergency phone calls in the middle of the night, but that quick text back to someone who asked you a question about a document seems so easy to do when you are in the middle of watching a football game with your husband.

I guess one of the things that is a common thread, one of the reasons it is hard to turn off the work is that it doesn’t feel like work. It is a joy. It is fulfilling. It is making a difference. But the truth is, I’m not very good at keeping it from impinging on sacred time of rest.

So I’m going to work harder at turning things off… turning off the wi-fi that picks up new emails… turning off the ringer on game day… closing documents… closing the door to the office if I have to. I think that also means allowing myself to turn off the brain and let a few ideas go instead of pursuing them immediately.

Yesterday, I re-installed a game on my computer and played for two hours. I ignored the documents. I let the ideas rest. It was nice to turn off for a bit.