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{"id":3491,"date":"2018-06-03T10:40:55","date_gmt":"2018-06-03T15:40:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/salvagedfaith.com\/?p=3491"},"modified":"2018-08-13T10:45:51","modified_gmt":"2018-08-13T15:45:51","slug":"like-a-child-say-youre-sorry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/salvagedfaith.com\/2018\/06\/03\/like-a-child-say-youre-sorry\/","title":{"rendered":"Like a Child: Say You’re Sorry"},"content":{"rendered":"

Text: Matthew 18:21-35<\/p>\n

Last week, Pastor Todd helped us to launch our series, \u201cLike a Child,\u201d by reminding us of how Jesus welcomed little children in not one, not two, but three of our gospels.
\nIn each place, Jesus reminds the disciples, and us, that unless we humble ourselves or have the faith of a child, we will not enter the Kingdom of God.<\/p>\n

So as we start summer here at Immanuel, we thought that we might explore deeper what it means to have faith like a child.
\nWhat does it mean to shed the bad habits and baggage that we have learned to carry as adults.
\nWhat can we learn from the little ones in our midst about what it means to love God and love our neighbor?<\/p>\n

I am the proud aunt of eight nieces and nephews.
\nAnd I\u2019m the type of aunt that is often found on the floor, playing with the cars, painting nails, and reading books, than watching from afar.
\nSo, I\u2019m often in the middle of it all when a younger sibling takes a toy that someone else is playing with or throws a fit when they lose a game.<\/p>\n

I try not to do too much policing myself, as an aunt. Mom and Dad usually have a better understanding of when to intervene and what type of correction they would prefer to be using in the moment.<\/p>\n

But as I thought about all of the times that either their parents or myself have intervened to calm a situation, I realized that the words that always come out of our mouth are:
\n\u201cSay you\u2019re sorry.\u201d
\nIt doesn\u2019t matter who was in the wrong.
\nBoth kids usually have to say sorry.
\nTypically, both are also redirected away from the source of the conflict and towards something they can either all use together or that will keep them a part.<\/p>\n

Do you know what I realized?
\nI don\u2019t think we ever have to teach children to say: \u201cI forgive you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The dictionary defines forgiveness as when we stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense, a flaw, or a mistake.
\nIn our gospel reading this morning, the word translated to forgiveness comes from the Greek aphiemi (a-fee-a-me), which means to send away or to give something up; to let it be or let them have it.
\nForgiveness is about release.
\nForgiveness is about restoration of relationship.
\nAnd forgiveness is almost always about the person wronged.<\/p>\n

You see, as adults, when someone offends us or hurts us or takes away one of our toys, animosity builds in our heart towards that person.
\nWe not only remember and take note of the wrong\u2026 we allow it to come between us.
\nForgiveness is when we let go of that anger or frustration or resentment and enter back into relationship with that person.<\/p>\n

But you see, kids don\u2019t have to learn how to forgive.
\nOne afternoon, my nephews were fighting over a Transformer and whose turn it was to play with it.
\nBoth had their sticky little fingers on it, and to be honest, none of us adults could remember who had it first or how long they had it. All we knew was that tears were about to flow and the pitch of their voices kept rising.
\nWhat we feared is that either they would break this toy they both coveted or one of them would end up hurt from the struggle.
\nSo, my brother called a time out, the Transformer got put on a shelf until another time, and their dad declared it was time to sit and read books for a while.
\n\u201cSay you\u2019re sorry\u201d
\n\u201cSorry.\u201d
\n\u201cSorry.\u201d
\nBoth kids crawled up onto my lap and we started reading my favorite about the monster at the end of the book.
\nNo more anger.
\nNo resentment.
\nRight after the book was finished, they went off to play, together, with their cars.
\nChildren don\u2019t need to learn how to forgive, because children don\u2019t allow mistakes, offenses, or wrongs to come between them.
\nYou simply say you are sorry and you move on.<\/p>\n

Adults need to practice forgiveness because we have lost that child-like faith in one another.
\nSomewhere along the way, as we grow we learn how to hold on to their hurts.
\nWe remember wrongs done to us and nurse that pain until it grows.
\nOne afternoon, my brothers were playing with action figures and one of them decided that to keep his sibling from playing with their favorite one, a batman figurine, he was going to bury it somewhere the other couldn\u2019t find it.
\nThere were two problems with this scenario.
\nFirst \u2013 Tony forgot where he buried the Batman and it was forever lost to both of them.
\nSecond \u2013 Darren never forgot that Tony forever lost his favorite toy.
\nTo this day\u2026 as we find ourselves sitting around as family, the lost Batman story comes up.
\nI think that Darren finally forgave Tony a few years ago, when he received a three foot tall Batman figurine from him for Christmas.
\nOf course, this small thing was not something that really came between them or damaged their relationship. But there was a moment when that child-like ability to instantly move on faded for them and for all of us who are grown. The offense stuck with them enough that it kept coming up in conversation even 25 years later.<\/p>\n

How do we recapture that child-like faith?
\nHow do we go back and rediscover that spirit of mercy and patience and love that allows us to say we are sorry and move on?<\/p>\n

First, children don\u2019t carry grudges because they don\u2019t live in the past.<\/strong>
\nThey are focused on what is right in front of them\u2026 the activity, the people, the relationships.
\nYesterday\u2019s hurt has no place in today\u2019s relationship. Forgiveness requires that we stay in the present moment.
\nSo taking a deep breath and focusing on the person rather than the past will allow us to let go of the anger and the pain as we forgive.
\nPeter tries to address this by asking a question of Jesus in our gospel reading this morning.
\n\u201cLord, how many times do I have to forgive someone who has wronged me?\u201d
\nPeter is starting to get what it means to follow Jesus.
\nHe knows that the gospel is about grace and mercy and love.
\nSo he knows that people deserve more than even a second chance.
\n\u201cShould I forgive them seven times?\u201d he asks.
\nSeven times.
\nSeven chances.
\nSeven times you have been hurt or offended or wronged by someone.
\nSeven moments where you let the pain that you feel, the anger and the hurt go so that you can enter back into relationship with them.
\nSeven times!<\/p>\n

To be honest, that sounds like a lot.
\nI know people today who have unfriended someone on facebook because of a single comment or have left a church because of a single instance of hurt or pain.
\nOur response these days to hurt rarely involves giving someone a second chance.
\nWe take our toys and we leave and we allow the anger to become a gulf between us.
\nPeter is going far above and beyond what the standard is for forgiveness in society today.
\nBut Peter isn\u2019t going far enough.<\/p>\n

Scholars debate the translation of Jesus\u2019 response here. Seventy-seven? Seventy times seven?
\nHowever you read the text, Jesus is telling Peter to stop counting. Stop looking to the past. Stop keeping a record of wrongs.
\nSimply forgive.
\nAlways forgive.
\nNever stop forgiving.<\/p>\n

The second thing we need to remember is that children don\u2019t calculate the costs of revenge.<\/strong>
\nInstinctually, they might lash out and hit back if they are hit, but more likely they will turn to tears or go running to the nearest adult to solve their problem.
\nTheir sense of self recognizes that to get over this situation, they need more than their own resources.
\nWhat I find fascinating about the response of Jesus to Peter is that he is inviting us to open our scriptures and remember the Torah. In Genesis, chapter 4, Lamech proclaims that where his ancestor Cain was protected with a seven-fold vengenace, if anything happened to him, God would avenge Lamech\u2019s death seventy times seven over.
\nThis connection with ancient scripture reminds us that vengeance is the Lord\u2019s.
\nCain had murdered his own brother and yet it was not the job of humanity to take his life. God sent him away, but God also protected him from the wrath of others.
\nYou and I are not called to exact revenge or carry resentment or seek to end someone\u2019s life or livelihood as a result of pain.
\nOur job is always to forgive.
\nAnd forgiveness means letting go of vengeance because it belongs only to God.<\/p>\n

Finally, children don\u2019t have learn how to forgive because they know that their life depends on relationship.<\/strong>
\nTheir home, food, clothing\u2026 everything they have depends on the people around them.
\nTo allow hurt and pain to come between you and another person might result in the loss of something that you need to survive.
\nIn that sense, children are also extremely vulnerable and cannot fight back or run away from serious harm inflicted by those who are supposed to care for them the most.
\nAs adults, we believe that we are independent.
\nWe believe that we can live without others.
\nAnd so rather than forgive and enter back into relationship, we cut ourselves off from on another.
\nA child-like faith is reclaiming that we are all part of the same body of Christ.
\nWe need one another.
\nI need you.
\nYou need me.
\nAnd that means that we have to forgive, to let the hurt slip into the past, so that we can move forward in relationship and ministry together.
\nAs Jesus continues to respond to Peter, he shares a parable about the forgiveness of debts.
\nNo matter how large or small the offense.
\nNo matter how many times we have been wronged.
\nOur job is to forgive. To let go. To let be.
\nSo that we can enter back into relationship with one another.<\/p>\n

And, so that we can enter back into relationship with God.
\nFor you see, when we allow something to come between us and our siblings, we have also allowed something to come between us and our Lord.
\nForgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.
\nWhen you send away the anger that has come between you and another person, you will discover that you have also torn down the wall that was separating your heart from God\u2019s never-failing love.
\nAnd friends, we need that love.
\nWe need that relationship with God.
\nOur very life is sustained by the One, who in the words of Psalm 103, forgives all our sins and heals all our diseases and redeems our life from the pit.
\nthe Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love.
\nGod does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.
\nAs far as the east is from the west, so far as God removed our transgressions from us.
\nGod sent them away. Let them go.
\nGod has forgiven you.
\nSo, our job is to forgive others.
\nOh\u2026 and don\u2019t forget to say you\u2019re sorry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Text: Matthew 18:21-35 Last week, Pastor Todd helped us to launch our series, \u201cLike a Child,\u201d by reminding us of how Jesus welcomed little children in not one, not two, but three of our gospels. In each place, Jesus reminds the disciples, and us, that unless we humble ourselves or have the faith of a…<\/span><\/p>\n

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