Text: Romans 8:38-39, Acts 16:22-34<\/p>\n
The first thing I want to prayerfully acknowledge this morning is that we are all entering this space from different places.
\nSome of you may be concerned about a family member or friend who you worry are having suicidal thoughts.
\nI know that some of us have lost a loved one to suicide.
\nAnd it is without a doubt that there are persons in this room who at one time or another have experienced a dark time and thought about suicide yourself\u2026
\nNo matter whether you have personal experience with this struggle or not, my hope and prayer is that we will all learn better how to share and offer hope and comfort to one another. <\/p>\n
This morning as we reflect together on how we, as a faith community, can come alongside those who are considering suicide, I\u2019m drawing heavily upon the work of Fe Anam Avis and Soul Shop. A couple of years ago, I had the opportunity to not only take their Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training, but also become a presenter for this program. Soul Shop was developed by the Pittsburgh Pastoral Institute to equip faith communities to minister to those impacted by suicidal desperation.
\nNotice I said \u201cdesperation\u201d and not \u201cdepression.\u201d
\nWhile sometimes suicide and depression are linked, that is not always the case. Not all people who are depressed have suicidal thoughts and not everyone who is suicidal is depressed.
\nHenry David Thoreau once wrote, \u201cthe great masses of men [and I would add women] lead lives of quiet desperation.\u201d
\nThere are many people in this world who are struggling just beneath the surface, invisible to the rest of us.
\nWe might marvel at how wide their smiles are or how well they are handling the difficulties in their lives, not realizing that they feel overcome by the immensity of their situations.
\nAnd when they don\u2019t feel like they can be honest about that desperation, they might become isolated, which leads even further down the path.
\nFe Anam Avis reminded me that this is why suicide often comes as such a surprise to us. Too often, the depth of desperation in a person\u2019s life is only visible after an irreversible tragedy. <\/p>\n
When I was in college, one of my roommates attempted suicide.
\nShe is and always has been a bright and bubbly person, full of energy and life. We noticed that she was a bit more sharp and stressed out, but we all were. It was college and life was full of anxiety and the drama of boyfriends and tests. We never sat down and had a real conversation about what was going on in our lives in that way\u2026 at least not until she had to be taken to the hospital and our whole friend group made the long drive in the middle of the night from Indianola to Des Moines. <\/p>\n
I can remember feeling helpless and full of guilt and shame as I sat in the car that night.
\nWhy didn\u2019t I see it?
\nWhy didn\u2019t she tell me?
\nWhy didn\u2019t I ask? <\/p>\n
The truth is, too often we feel unequipped to even begin to respond in the midst of our worry about loved ones.
\nBut friends, we can move from a reality of others struggling with quiet desperation to one of honest conversation. We can create space right here at Immanuel, but also in the lives we live outside of this building, to be honest about the struggles in our life, for others to be honest with us, and together to and to know they are not alone.
\nIn fact, one of the most difficult problems that people face in the midst of their quiet desperation is simply finding someone to talk to. Someone who will listen. Someone who will hear them. Someone who will be there. <\/p>\n
And it starts with being able to talk about suicide.
\nI want to invite you to try something. I want to invite you to turn to the person next to you and use the word \u201csuicide\u201d in a sentence. Any sentence. Just practice saying the word.
\nFe Anam Avis says that if you can say the word \u201csuicide\u201d in a sentence, you can save a life. <\/p>\n
For too long, the church has largely been silent about this quiet desperation, instead of actually wrestling with the many different stories within our scriptures that relate to suicide.
\nWe are quick to think of Judas, but that only further connects these kinds of thoughts with feelings of guilt, betrayal, and condemnation.
\nThe very first thing I want to say about this is that our United Methodist position on suicide is very clear. \u201cSuicide is not the way that a human life should end\u2026 a Christian perspective on suicide begins with an affirmation of faith that nothing, [not death or life, angels or rulers, or powers, things past or present\u2026. NOTHING] including suicide, separates us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). <\/p>\n
The reality is, our scriptures describe many instances where people struggle with suicidal desperation\u2026 Job, Elijah, Jonah, Jeremiah, Paul, and King Saul, just to name a few.
\nAnd there is a text in the Bible that describes a successful suicide intervention\u2026 a moment where a life was saved because someone was willing to talk about suicide.
\nLet\u2019s turn to Acts 16 and explore that story together.
\nFirst, I want you to notice in Acts 16:24 that the jailor in this story was busy just going about his life doing his job. He received the order, put Paul and Silas in the cell, and locked them up. Fe Anam Avis calls him a First Day person \u2013 someone who may never have remotely considered suicide and was totally unprepared for how quickly life could change and desperation could show up. <\/p>\n
But then something unexpected happens. An earthquake shakes the prison, the doors fly open and the shackles of the prisoners are broken.
\nIn that moment, described in verse 27, the jailor finds himself in a dark night of desperation. In his case, this was a sudden change triggered by a life event. We sometimes see this with young people after a break-up or failure, but also among adults who have experienced a dramatic failure or loss or rejection. <\/p>\n
But there is another part of this story. The community shows up and they too are desperate. They are concerned and worried for the life of this person in their midst. They notice. And they say something.
\n\u201cDon\u2019t harm yourself. We\u2019re all here!\u201d Paul cries out in verse 28.
\nIn that moment, the jailor discovers he is not alone\u2026 and he chooses to live. <\/p>\n
One of my colleagues, Heidi Carrington Heath, has written about her own experience with suicidal thoughts and what it meant when someone showed up in her life. (https:\/\/www.saltproject.org\/progressive-christian-blog\/2017\/11\/9\/second-day-people-suicide-and-faith)
\n\u201cI was 18 the first time I was suicidal\u2026 I don\u2019t remember reaching out to my best friend, but I did.
\nI remember that she appeared at my door in what felt like moments with another friend of ours. He crawled on the floor with me\u2026 and told me that I had two choices. He told me I could leave the room walking, or he could carry me out, but the option of sitting alone in that room with a box cutter in my hand wasn\u2019t an option anymore. I haven\u2019t seen either of them in years, but I literally owe both of them my life.
\nIn that moment, I became a second day person. Second day people are people like me who live through the dark night of suicidal desperation to see the resurrection of the second day. \u201c
\nShe goes on to write,
\n\u201cPeople suicide primarily for two reasons: a loss of hope, and a loss of social connection. And if the Church of Jesus Christ and our faith communities cannot do something about that, we should shut our doors. Building communities where no one loses hope, and no one is alone should be the heart of our work together.\u201d <\/p>\n
And so to that end, I want to share with you a simple acronym for how we, as people of faith, can show up to provide hope and connection with one another.
\nC.A.L.L. <\/p>\n
First\u2026 we Commit.
\nWe commit that if we are ever experiencing desperation and thoughts of suicide that we will reach out and find someone to talk to. I am someone you can talk with \u2013 but so are so many other people in this room.
\nIf we make this commitment, we reduce our isolation and we don\u2019t have to carry those burdens all by ourselves. <\/p>\n
Next, we can Ask.
\nIf you notice that someone around you is struggling, don\u2019t be afraid to ask if they are thinking about suicide. They may not tell us. They may not want to admit it. But simply noticing their struggle and being to say the words, \u201cThat sounds like a lot. It is a lot to carry. Sometimes, people going through what you are going through begin to think about suicide. Do you ever think about suicide?\u201d
\nSimply asking the question helps someone to know they are not alone. That you are there. That you care for them\u2026 deeply. <\/p>\n
And once we ask, we have to Listen.
\nListen for their story.
\nListen for their struggle.
\nLet them tell you about what they are going through and be willing to sit with them through that. <\/p>\n
But then, as in the story of Heidi\u2026 and also the jailer\u2026 the final thing we can do is Lead someone to safety.
\nYou cannot change someone\u2019s thoughts or their struggle or desperation, but you can help them get to a safe place where they can get the help they need.
\nMaybe you sit with them and make a phone call.
\nMaybe you remove an object of harm. <\/p>\n
You are not a professional and you don\u2019t have to be.
\nJust remember that you are called.
\nCALL: Commit, Ask, Listen, and Lead to safety.
\nThe apostle Paul struggled with his own life in ministry in Philippians 1:19-25, which perhaps better equipped him to notice the desperation in the life of jailer who was right in front of him.
\nBut as people of faith, we all are equipped with love, compassion and mercy. We are all equipped with love and grace. And we know that life is not easy and that desperation is a reality for all of us.
\nSo friends, you, too, are called\u2026. And we are here. We are here for one another. We are here for you. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Text: Romans 8:38-39, Acts 16:22-34 The first thing I want to prayerfully acknowledge this morning is that we are all entering this space from different places. Some of you may be concerned about a family member or friend who you worry are having suicidal thoughts. I know that some of us have lost a loved…<\/span><\/p>\n