Called By Name

If I ever doubted that I was called to this ministry with Imagine No Malaria, all of that was erased as we finished training this afternoon and closed a devotion and scripture and prayer.  We started with the calling of Samuel – and the voice of God calling him out by name.  We moved to the call of Jacob and a night of wrestling where God names him anew. 

As we listened, my heart leaped in my chest.  Both of those scriptures have been the ones I have turned to when I explain the call of God in my life.  I heard Bishop Carcano tell the story of Samuel’s call when I was a college student and realized for the first time that God had been calling me through the voice of important people in my life.  I have always had a push/shove/pull relationship with God and the idea of wrestling and asking questions and coming through on the other side different and more faithful has been a predominant narrative of my faith journey.

To hear each of those stories once again as the capstone of four days of training for a different direction in my life was powerful.  It was an affirmation that for some reason I am called to be here and to do this new position. 

I have had some fears and hesitations about the gifts needed and the travel required n the position, but I am learning that how we live out this campaign in Iowa is going to be different than in other places.  I have tried very hard to practice good boundaries and healthy self-care habits around my schedule and my family and I was worried that this position would demand something that I couldn’t offer.  But I’m figuring out that in this position, I will actually learn a better way of delegating, empowering, and supporting those I work with so that we can all do amazing things without killing ourselves in the process. 

God has called me by name.  Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.