Posts Tagged with authentic
trying too hard
wYesterday, I shot my best two rounds of disc golf ever. On both courses, I had back nines of 6 and my combined scores for the two courses was only 29!
Now, those aren’t great scores. But for me, they are fantastic scores. I did twice as good as I normally do. And do you want to know why? I stopped trying so hard.
The same thing happened last week with my sermon. I have been a manuscript preacher – although, if I’m honest with myself, my manuscript isn’t the polished manuscript of some, but I write it exactly how I would say it, stream of consciousness style. Only without the stress of a congregation in front of me when I do it. It’s a style that has helped my preaching be a bit more authentic and yet it also gives me the security blanket of those pieces of paper in the pulpit.
In two of my last three sermons however, I haven’t really used a manuscript that I prepared before hand. And you know what – they were pretty good!
I think that I have always been raised to believe that we have to put 110% into everything that we do. And while that is a good philosophy, it’s not sustainable in the long term. Because giving 110% means that you are giving more of yourself than you have. In otherwords, it’s terrible for self-care. If you are always giving and not taking the time to fill yourself back up 110% then you will burn out.
The other problem with that way of thinking is that it makes it all about you. It becomes about what you have put into it, rather than thinking about all of the other factors that come into play.
For example, in disc golf, if you throw the disc at 110%, your arms will tire out quite quickly, but you also are not using the discs properly. You aren’t factoring in for the wind, or the nature of the particular disc that you are throwing. In my case, backing off from the throwing power also has helped me to work on my form and I have far more accurate drives and putts than I did before.
In the case of my preaching, when I get out of the way a little bit, and leave just a little bit more up to God in the moment, I am ALWAYS amazed at how God takes what I have already done and makes it amazing. If it’s all about me and the way that I wrote it, then there is very little room for God in the moment – even though God was a part of the process.
I have always been a hard worker… and I firmly believe that we need ot love God with our whole selves – heart, mind, soul, strength. But sometimes that also means we need to understand that God is God and we are not and empty ourselves so that God can work through us, like empty vessels ready for the wine.
An Interview with RevGals
These questions were posted this week as a part of the Monday Meet-N-Greet. I know – I’m late. Oh well!
1. Where do you blog? Here! and at http://www.kenoticwords.blogspot.com/
2. What are your favorite non-revgal blog pal blogs? United Methodeviations, Bread & Honey
3. What gives you joy? Being on a porch with good friends and family talking about life. Baptizing a child. Singing a favorite hymn. Sleeping next to my husband.
4. What is your favorite sound? My cats purring.
5. What do you hope to hear once you enter the pearly gates? This is a really hard question. In part because I don’t know that the pearly gates is that great of a metaphor for what awaits us. For me, this question is about what would I want to be able to hear that I can’t already hear/know here on earth… I can already hear God saying that I am loved… so I guess I would want to be able to hear all of the intangible things that we can’t understand about one another. I would like to be able to hear a smile.
6. You have up to 15 words, what would you put on your tombstone? She lived her whole life with her whole self and loved everyone she met.
7. Write the first sentence of your own great American novel. Today I planted the very first seed…
8. What color do you prefer your pen? Black
9. What magazines do you subscribe too? None at the moment. But I sometimes buy “Everday Food” and used to get “Utne Reader”
10. What is something you want to achieve in this decade? I want to have a child in this decade (if we are thinking 2000-2010)… and the time is quickly slipping away.
11. Why are you cool? Because I like to wear heels with my jeans, I listen to space rock (Incubus), watch the Daily Show, study the perichoretic nature of God, and because I’m probably the youngest pastor in a 50 mile radius (if not wider) of where I live.
12. What is one of your favorite memories? having my husband wipe away the tears of joy from my eyes with my grandma’s handkerchief during our wedding ceremony.
13. Anything else you’ve always wanted to be asked? What is a metaphor/image for your ministry? Despite being an itinerant United Methodist pastor… my deepest metaphor for ministry is that of a gardener or farmer – putting deep roots into the ground and tending the spot that you are given – taking care of the land and the soil and freely giving the fruits of the labor away to those who need them the most.
FF: Ritual
From Rev Gals: I believe that we live in a ritually impoverished culture, where
we have few reasons for real celebration, and marking the passages of life.
So…
1. Are ritual markings of birth marriage and death important to you?
Absolutely! They are how we make meaning out of these very difficult and beautiful transitions in our lifes. Even when we think that we are bypassing rituals, we are usually creating our own practices for coping and celebrating what has happened. Even something as simple as placing your baby into the crib for the first time is filled with significance and meaning and how you do it that first time will shape how you do it from then on. As a pastor, I see my role as to speak to where and how God is present in the rituals that I help a family perform.
2. Share a favourite liturgy/ practice.
In my wedding ceremony, we wanted to acknowledge that we had already been on a long journey together. We got married on our seven and a half year anniversary. So this was one more step in a relationship that we committed to long ago. I found this piece of liturgy and we used it at the beginning of the service:
President: We have come together in the presence of God to witness the marriage of Brandon and Katie, to celebrate their love for each other, and to ask God’s blessing upon them.
2nd Voice: Through the ages, people on great journeys have stopped at important places, and at decisive moments, to build cairns at the roadside – to make the spot, to measure progress, and to leave reminders of their arrivals and leavings to which they and others can always return.
3rd Voice: Katie and Brandon’s relationship is a great journey that, in different ways, we have traveled and will continue to travel with them. Nothing will ever be the same: for Brandon and Katie; for us who know them; or for the community in which they will live and move. They are to be married.
President: God’s Word reveals to us that the very nature of God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit, along with all human experience, for we are made in the image of God, is to be understood as relationship. In the great stories of God’s people and in the coming of Jesus we are shown how God binds himself to us, in a relationship that we can only call love. Jesus himself gave us a new commandment, “that you love one another as I have loved you.”
2nd Voice: We grow through relationships, for they give human life its purpose and direction. This is why we reach out to others. Our live consists not only in being but in becoming. Loving relationships are always on the move. They cannot stand still. They are a journey.
3rd Voice: Let us mark this decisive moment in Katie and Brandon’s journey now, adding to the cairn the stones of our love, our support and our prayers for them as they make their promises.
President: Creating and Redeeming God,
It is your love which draws us together.
Through the love which we have for one another,
May we also grow in love for you.
Walking with Christ as our companion on the way,
May we come to share the joy
Which you have prepared for all who love you;
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
[New Zealand, p. 802, adapted]
The two other voices besides our pastor were members of each of our families. The only thing that I wish we had done that we didn’t have the foresight to think about was to actually have family members bring a stone and to build a cairn… then we could have taken those stones with us to our new home.
3. If you could invent ( or have invented) a ritual what is it for?
wow, I guess see above! Something else that we kind of invented was at my grandpa’s funeral. He was a farmer and was always outside in the fields or in his gardens. He died in October and we couldn’t not make the fall harvest part of his funeral. We brought it tall stalks of corn from the field and placed it around the casket. And each of the grandchildren picked a pumpkin and we placed them at the base of the casket – one for each of us. We also had a number of significant others among us grandchildren – three of us were engaged… and the “SO’s” picked out squashes to represent themselves. We created meaning and remembrance out of that moment… we still call our “so’s” squashes. And everytime we do so, we remember Deda’s funeral.
4. What do you think of making connections with neo-pagan / ancient festivals? Have you done this and how?
I haven’t really thought to do it explicitly, but I’m also very aware that Easter and Christmas fall when they do, in large part because of pagan/ancient festivals.
I think that there is a very fine line to balance when incorporating those traditions and rituals into your life. You don’t want to impose your own values on beliefs on something you don’t completely understand and in doing so possibly undo the meaning of the original ritual. There was an awful lot of imperialism and conquest involved in our original appropriation of some rituals.
But at the same time, we always bring to any rituals we encounter our own meaning. We adapt the rituals we encounter to fit our lives and our circumstances. And so if we encounter a new ritual, I think the best thing is to learn as much as you can about it and practice it with (if you feel that is appropriate and not denying the God you follow) others who know it well, and then make it your own.
5. Celebrating is important, what and where would your ideal celebration be?
In my back yard with good friends and family… with a roaring fire =) Conversation, laughter, music, some wine and some good food off of the grill.
a simple prayer for pastors
gracious god.
help us to speak your truth.
help us know that while judgment is reserved only for you, that sometimes you call prophets to share your concern for the world and for your children.
bless us with courage.
bless us with grace for the times we have failed to proclaim boldly your words of liberation and bless us with the ability to be ready the next time you call us to speak.
amen.
accountable.
So. I’m going back and forth over whether or not to post what my lenten discipline will be. I was all for it, and then I got to thinking about the whole “do it in secret” call of Matthew’s gospel… the appointed reading for Ash Wednesday.
At the same time however, discipline needs accountability. With no one else to check in on me, or watch over my shoulder and gently nudge… “hey katie…” will I keep with it?
Also… I’m only like 75% about what my actual lenten discipline will be. I like to abstain from one thing and take on one thing – and I can’t figure out what I’m going to take on. (which is kind of important, since, um, Lent started today)
So. I need the push to make a decision and having to post it and then follow through before heading to bed for the evening is important.
1) I will be abstaining from meat for Lent. This is something that I have done in the past, and now is a good time for my body to also be abstaining from the extra fats due to my upcoming surgery. Meat is a really tough thing for me because my families are such big meat eaters. Even in meals at home with Brandon, meat is always center stage. So having to think about other cooking options for myself, or eating less at a meal really is not a natural step for me. Everytime that I eat, I will be recalling this commitment to God I have made. And I love to eat. Meals now become this prayerful time of communion, rather than a hurry up and cook up some boring chicken and rice-a-roni. Not to mention the benefits on the planet (which God calls us to take care of) that a vegetarian diet entails.
2) My prayer life has been suffering lately. I’m just going to be honest. I have really struggled with what I need to boost that prayer life. Do I need to keep a prayer journal before bedtime? Maybe use art as an expression of prayer (like Jan Richardson) to try something new? I have a beautiful handmade paper journal that I haven’t used yet (thanks Jill!) and I’m going to bust it out this Lenten season. I’ll have it beside my bed with some colored pencils and chalk… and then maybe I can do both!
senseful worship
I am a strong believer in using all of our minds, bodies and souls in worship. And one of the primary ways that I try to encourage people to reach that place is by thinking of all of our five senses and the worship experience. What are the things we hear? What kinds of smells do the scriptures bring to mind? What does grace taste like? What does the gospel feel like? How can we use color and images to see God?
Now – all of that is much easier said than done. It takes so much work to craft worship experiences and to be honest, for the most part I stick to a basic liturgy and try to throw one of the senses we neglect in worship (taste, touch, smell) in every now and then.
I have been thinking a lot about wanting to pick this practice back up again for Lent – even if I focus on just one sense each week. The scriptures for Lent 1B include the promise of God to Noah in the rainbow, and two years ago, we used that scripture in our emerging worship service in Nashville to literally paint a rainbow among the congregation. We had six canvases set up around the worship space and people were invited to travel among them and write/paint images, words, colors that expressed their understanding of promise and covenant.
I would LOVE to do that with my congregation. It would incorporate touch, color, movement, engage our minds etc.
I’m having more troubles thinking of what to do with the next week and the Lent 2B scriptures. Our theme is “Challenge” and the focus is on taking the leap of faith to trust in God’s promises – using Romans 4:20-22 and Mark 8:34-35
dos lenguas
I have been blessed to be able to work with other pastors in our district on a new hispanic ministry opportunity. We are working to build a monthly bi-lingual worship called “Two Languages, One Flame” and we had our second official meeting to plan today.
We talked a lot about how in many senses, most of us are gringos trying to do this for others. But what is really important is that we do have some partners in the hispanic community who are partnering with us, and we are just the starting point. Ideally, this is a shared cultural experience, where we have the opportunity to learn and worship in Spanish, and the hispanic community learns and worships in English. And as we worship, we help one another to discover gifts and talents and our dream is that a church will be born out of this community.
As we begin planning, one thing we are not aiming for is perfection. =) At least not yet. For me, it is much more important for the worship to be vital and authentic and from the heart – and if we make mistakes in translation along the way, we will laugh together about it and move on. We just want to praise God in two tongues through the power of the Holy Spirit that we share. If we do that, nothing else matters.