mission – Page 2 – Salvaged Faith

Blessed are the Debonair

Posted on April 24, 2016Leave a comment

This morning, we celebrate God’s good creation.

We celebrate the gift of this world… this earth that has been placed in our care.

And I’m sure you are wondering as you heard the scriptures for today and look at that sermon title… what in the world do these things have to do with creation care?

Well, as I prepared for our time of worship today, I spent some time in the works of Lutheran eco-theologian Joseph Sittler.

Rev. Sittler was born in 1904 and in his work began connecting Christian theology and environmental matters as early as the 1950s. He firmly believed that care for the earth and our environment is one of the central concerns of our faith.

He also loved to explore the ways various biblical translations impacted our understanding of what they mean. Robert Saler points to his fascination with a French translation of the Beatitudes – in particularly Matthew 5:5.

We know the verse today as “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”

However, “Sittler noticed that the French would often translate this as ‘blessed are the debonair.’ “ (Saler)

Immediately, you probably have an image in your mind of what it means to be debonair. I know, for me, it was almost the opposite of meek.

Yet, as Sittler explains:

… “debonair” in French, in the time of the French Bible of John Calvin, meant a person who is not an idolater, one who hasn’t gotten hooked up in anything worldly, one who is so sophisticated as to know wealth for what it is and that it isn’t everything…

This is a person who has a kind of centeredness that doesn’t let the idols of this world capture it. It’s a kind of debonair in which you sit lightly on the offerings and temptations of this world because you have a vision of something better…

I think about this in the context of our passage from Acts.

Peter has operated under a world view his entire life that divided the world into good and bad, clean and unclean, impure and pure. He was hooked on an understanding of the world that separated him and those like him from others.

There were some things, and some people, as a part of this creation that were outside his concern. Just as he traditionally wouldn’t have been allowed to enter the house of a Gentile, he couldn’t eat certain foods.

But then he has this vision… a vision that opened up his world as never before.

As the Message translation describes that vision in modern language:

Something like a huge blanket, lowered by ropes at its four corners, came down out of heaven and settled on the ground in front of me. Milling around on the blanket were farm animals, wild animals, reptiles, birds—you name it, it was there. Fascinated, I took it all in.

^7-10“Then I heard a voice: ‘Go to it, Peter—kill and eat.’ I said, ‘Oh, no, Master. I’ve never so much as tasted food that wasn’t kosher.’ The voice spoke again: ‘If God says it’s okay, it’s okay.’

There are two things happening here.

Missionally, God is opening Peter and the disciples’ hearts to the possibility of ministry among the Gentiles. God is helping them come to a more sophisticated understanding of their mission that is no longer limited by the old delineations. The Holy Spirit sends Peter to a non-Jewish family who is converted on the spot.

But important for our conversation today, God is helping Peter to understand that all of creation was made by God and it is all a gift. Just as there is no distinction between clean and unclean people, there is no distinction between clean and unclean animals or birds. God has made it all and to God it all belongs… yet it is also being given to Peter, to the people, to us, as a gift… as an inheritance.

In his reflections on the beatitudes, Rev. Sittler considers those debonair who will inherit the earth:

It doesn’t say they shall own the earth, or control the earth…It says they shall inherit the earth.

…The difference is: what you own, you probably earn, or make. An inheritance is something you don’t own. You don’t deserve it. It’s a surprise. You live in the world with a gentle spirit, because the whole of creation is a kind of outrageous surprise, a gift.

Blessed are they of a gentle spirit, because they live in the world not as ones who strut around as if they own the place… Rather, their first feeling for the world is one of tender wonder, gratitude, and amazement.

And Peter does have that sense of awe. The Message translation in particular captures the drama, the wonder of it all, by saying that Peter was fascinated and took it all in. That gentle debonair spirit took over. He realized that the systems of division between clean and unclean he had lived with his entire life were stripped away.

Every little bit of this world was made by God and belongs to God and we are merely granted temporary guardianship and use. Like Adam and Eve were given creation in Genesis to care for, to steward, to use for their needs, so this world is gifted to Peter and to us.

Rev. Sittler describes a moment when he saw that debonair spirit in action:

I went with some college kids on a trip, a big Saturday afternoon walk through the gigantic Douglas-fir forest in the lower slopes of the Cascades. I watched these sophisticated kids . . . . When they walked into the woods, they became quiet, silent. They would reach out and pat the big trees as they went by. The further we got into the woods, the quieter they became.

Then the phrase came to me, “They inherit the world, because they don’t own it.”

They don’t think of it fundamentally as potential two-by-fours, though it’s all right to use it that way wisely; if you love a thing, then you’re prepared to use it wisely.”

Why should we, as people of faith lift up creation care? Why would someone like Joseph Sittler claim that environmental concerns are one of the central issues of Christianity?

Precisely because it is one of the richest gifts and inheritances that God has given us.

As we state in the Social Principles of the United Methodist Church:

All creation is the Lord’s, and we are responsible for the ways we use and abuse it. Water, air, soil, minerals, energy resources, plants, animal life, and space are to be valued and conserved because they are God’s creation and not solely because they are useful to human beings… we should meet these stewardship duties through acts of loving care and respect. (Book of Discipline, ¶160)

And if we truly love God, if we truly love one another, if we truly love this gift of creation, then our love will lead us to use it wisely.

The greatest commandment, after all, is to love. And that love should fill every relationship and every engagement with the world.

And that love also leads us to periodically check ourselves and ask if we have taken this gift for granted. That love calls us to speak up when we see others abusing our common resources. That love demands that we teach our children and ourselves how to walk gently and carefully among this precious planet.

Blessed are the Debonair… for they shall inherit the earth.

We have been given this world as a gift, and we are to make sure future generations are able to inherit it as well.

References:

Robert Saler – “Eco-Justice Commentary on the Common Lectionary Easter 5”

Jospeh Sittler, “His God Story,” in The Eloquence of Grace: Joseph Sittler and the Preaching Life, ed. Richard Lischer and James Childs, Cascade, 2013, 23-24

Returning from Thin Places

Posted on February 14, 2016Leave a comment

There are places in this world that are “thin.”
It is a label given to places, in the Celtic understanding, where the barrier between the human and the divine, heaven and earth, is nearly imperceptible.
A place where we experience the divine more readily.

In biblical history, we see a number of these “thin places” or holy locations: like Mount Sinai or the temple in Jerusalem, or that mountain where Jesus was transfigured. Sometimes, it is the location itself that is key… sometimes it is the hearts of the people gathered who seem to transform it.

Perhaps you have known a “thin place.”
Experiences that have filled you with a sense of awe and purpose.
Sometimes people call these “mountain top moments”… even if they didn’t actually take place on a mountain because they are the peaks of our spiritual journey.
“Thin places” are where you have felt God’s presence more than any other.

As I think back in my own spiritual journey, I’ve had these kinds of experiences in large gatherings of faithful folks at retreats, and I’ve had them in silent moments at the top of mountains. I’ve also had them right here, in this sanctuary, in this building, as we have gathered to worship and praise God.

And what I have noticed is that it is always hard to leave those places.
You want to linger.
You can’t imagine normal life in the same way again.
The pull to stay is almost irresistible.
But eventually you have to return.
Return to your life.
Return to solid ground.
Return to the mundane and the thick and the muck and mess.

In our gospel this morning, we find Jesus returning from one of those “thin places.”
The Jordan River was a place of healing and transformation.
John the Baptist called people out to the river to repent and be baptized.
And when Jesus visited, that barrier between the heavens and earth grew so thin that the skies burst open and the Holy Spirit descended upon him.

But like us, Jesus can’t stay there.
He can’t set up shop there on the banks and wait for the world to come to him, any more than we can’t live here in the church for our whole lives… waiting for flocks of people to come into our doors.
No, he has to return to the rest of the world.
There is work to be done.

So, full of the Holy Spirit, like we often are after these holy moments, Jesus returns from the Jordan.

And there is something that happens in this returning, in this transition.
In between verse 1 where he returns from the Jordan and verse 14, where he returns to Galilee, there is a gap.

The wilderness.
A liminal space.
40 days of discomfort, of waiting, of transformation.
40 days of fasting and wrestling.
40 days of trial and temptation.
40 days.

Biblically, this 40 days reminds us of the great flood in Genesis, or the Israelites wandering for 40 years in the wilderness. Moses fasted for 40 days… so did Elijah.
This number 40 doesn’t have to mean a literal forty days… but it signifies the right amount of time it takes to get you ready for whatever comes next.

As Jesus returns from the Jordan, he needs to prepare himself for his ministry in the world. And the devil shows up to tempt him. As Jesus is shown all of the possibilities for what that ministry might look like, he has to figure out what kind of savior he will be. He wrestles with his calling. He takes time to focus fully on the presence and power of God that will sustain him in his work.
And in that time, Jesus is preparing himself to go and BE a thin space in the world.
To be the very presence of God, Immanuel, with the people.
And if Jesus, the very Son of God, needs this liminal time to get him ready to return to the world… don’t you think we do, too?

Every week, we gather in this church to worship and experience the divine. It has become for us a sort of thin place… [And soon, some of us will be worshipping in a new thin place].
And what we experience here… the friendships we make, the prayers, the support and accountability, the life-giving spirit… is good and awesome and holy.
But we can’t stay here forever.
Every Sunday, when the worship has finished and we take leave of the building, we have to return to the world.
We have to go out into Galilee, into Des Moines, into our mission field.
There is work to be done for the sake of the gospel.

But I’m afraid that too often, we come to a holy and thin place like this, we get filled up with the Holy Spirit, and then as soon as we step outside of the doors, the devil is waiting for us.
And the devil prays on all of our insecurities and temptations.
I fear, that most days, instead of holding on to the spirit of God… we instantly fill ourselves back up with worries and concerns, with politics and ideology, with work and school and family troubles.
We walk out the door and forget about what we have just experienced.
Back to the normal, mundane, ordinary world, as ordinary, normal, mundane people.

What if, before we left the building, we took a moment to get ourselves ready?

Sometimes I give you big challenges, but this morning, I want us to think small.
I want to challenge all of us to carve out not 40 days, not 40 minutes, but 40 seconds of space…
40 seconds of wilderness time… to help us return back to the world.
I want to challenge you, before you walk out the doors today, to spend just 40 seconds putting your trust in God.
40 seconds to remember who we are and whose we are.
40 seconds to lift up the temptations we know we will face and place them in God’s hands.

Our churches have work to do. We have a kingdom to help build. There are lives that are lost that need the love and grace and mercy of God.
And we cannot do it by ourselves.
We can’t do it without being filled with the Holy Spirit.

Here’s the thing… YOU are the temple of God. God’s Spirit lives within YOU.
And God wants you to be the hands and feet of Jesus out there in the world.
God needs your ministry and your work out in the world.

So let us get filled up with the Spirit.
And let us go out, to live as “thin places,” to be people who bring the love of God to every person we meet.
Amen.

Posted on October 27, 2015Leave a comment

When I was in high school, my youth group went on an international mission trip to Peru. Forty youth plus chaperones set out from Cedar Rapids determined to make a difference in the lives of other people. We even made t-shirts.

I remember the night that we came up with the slogan for the back of our shirts. We were at a planning meeting… a barbeque in someone’s backyard. We divided into crews and we all did our own brainstorming and came up with ideas, and then we merged into larger groups and condensed ideas and eventually we came up with this:

Building Hope, Changing Hearts… one nail at a time.

What I remember most profoundly was the idea that we were the ones who would be doing all of this. That as high school students we had the power to truly transform lives. That we could give of our time (in the middle of summer no less) and our talents (as meager as they might be) and other people would be changed.

Sometimes, I think back to how naïve we were. To really think that a group of teenagers could work for 8 days and completely change a community.

But in the end, people were transformed. Only, it was us, far more than the children at “El Refugio de Esperanza” (the Refuge of Hope).

When we give, we are changed. It is as simple as that.

Delegate!

Posted on May 18, 2015Leave a comment

These are the jobs we are assigned to do as the Church Council, according to the Book of Discipline:

Plan and implement all the programs of nurture, outreach, witness and resources.
Administer the church organization
Envision, Plan, Implement and Evaluate the mission and ministry of the church.
Act as the administrative agency of the charge conference.

That is a lot to accomplish for a group that meets for 90 minutes once a month. Yet, according to the Discipline, all of this is our job to provide for.

So, how is it possible?

Exodus 18 (MSG)

^13-14 Moses took his place to judge the people. People were standing before him all day long… When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What’s going on here? Why are you doing all this, and all by yourself…?”

^15-16Moses said, “Because the people come to me with questions about God. When something comes up, they come to me. I judge between [them] and teach them God’s laws and instructions.”

^17-23Moses’ father-in-law said, “This is no way to go about it. You’ll burn out, and the people right along with you. This is way too much for you—you can’t do this alone. Now listen to me. Let me tell you how to do this so that God will be in this with you… Your job is to teach them the rules and instructions, to show them how to live, what to do. And then you need [to appoint competent people as leaders over smaller groups]… They’ll be responsible for the everyday work of judging among the people. They’ll bring the hard cases to you, but in the routine cases they’ll be the judges. They will share your load and that will make it easier for you. If you handle the work this way, you’ll have the strength to carry out whatever God commands you, and the people in their settings will flourish also.”

^24-27Moses listened to the counsel of his father-in-law and did everything he said.

The advice Jethro offered Moses was to delegate.

He didn’t have to shoulder all of the responsibility himself. He didn’t have to do it all on his own. And by delegating responsibility and sharing authority, both Moses and the people would flourish.

First, he had to train those additional leaders and equip them… you can’t be responsible for something if you don’t know what the expectations are.

But then Moses had to get out of their way. He didn’t have time to micro-manage. They didn’t have time to continually come back and ask if they were doing it right.

They all needed to trust one another.

As a result, Moses could periodically check-in and evaluate his leaders. And, he was available when there were big issues to discuss.

As the Ad Council, we could look at our purpose statement as defined by the Book of Discipline and try to shoulder it all ourselves, as Moses did at first.

Or, we can delegate.

When we delegate, we make clear the expectations by setting goals and strategy and communicating our vision and mission. Then, we need to empower our committees to do the work of ministry.

We give them a budget, we make sure they understand our vision as a church, and then they have the responsibility and authority to do whatever they need to do, within those parameters, as their work.

This means the council is freed up to truly handle the big picture and major decisions. We are freed to hold the church and committees accountable for living into our mission and vision.

“If you handle the work this way, you’ll have the strength to carry out whatever God commands you, and the people in their settings will flourish also.”

BIG words

Posted on May 30, 20134 Comments

This first exercise or engagement with our proposed strategic priorities for Iowa comes with a word image. I put the full document into a word cloud generator to see what we talk about the most and what that says about our work.

For this post… the words that stand out: conference, communities, ministry, development, transform, work, faith, disciple

Our document is fundamentally about how we as the Iowa Conference function… where we are going and how we are going to get there. So it is not surprising to see “conference” as a primary word.

The same goes for “communities.” We talk both about communities of faith and being more present in our communities throughout the proposal. There was an intentional effort to not limit conversation to local churches or congregations but to broaden our definition to include new and developing immigrant faith communities, Wesley Foundations, camps, and other places where discipleship happens… even if it isn’t in an officially chartered congregation.

So the second part of that term, “faith” also is prominent. But this word is also used in “bold steps of faith” and to lift up faithful people and to develop the faith of leaders and disciples.

The word “ministry” surprised me, although it probably shouldn’t have. In this proposal, we use the word in a lot of different ways, however… as a description of the activities we do (areas of ministry, the ministry of pastors, ministry with the poor), groups within the conference (Ministry Cabinet, School for Lay Ministry), but also as part of a description of place (rural ministry, ministry context). These describe what we are doing, how we are doing it, and where we are doing it.

When we aren’t using the word ministry, we are using the word “work” in this proposal. We even talk about the work of ministry! This phrase describes who will work with whom (congregations working with the poor, CFA working with the Cabinet) as well as what that work looks like (work of peace and justice, work of intentional faith development).

“Development” is a big part of our second priority – working to develop new and more effective leaders… both in terms of faith development, but also recognizing the need for asset-based community development. It is internal and external to our walk with Jesus. Development also shows up as we discern where new communities of faith can be developed.

Next, “transform.” This is the core of our document. Change. New life. Resurrection. This word captures transformation, transformational, transforming, transformed… you get the picture. And it is all through the document. Leaders who are transformed and transforming. Communities of faith that are transforming their neighborhoods. Our mission is to help transform the world.

Also not surprising, “disciple” makes a strong appearance. Our mission is also to make disciples. Whether we are talking about deepening our discipleship, making disciples, equipping leaders to disciple, or sending disciples into the world, this is a thread that runs through our proposal.

Invitation to Conversation and Discernment

Posted on May 29, 20131 Comment

Hi folks,

This year at our Iowa Annual Conference one of our major topics of discussion will be the vision, mission, and strategic priorities of our Iowa Conference.

As part of getting people across the conference to think/pray/discern where we are heading with this document, I’m hoping YOU might think and write about the document this next week. I want to invite you to prayerfully read the full document and craft your response. If you blog, let me know where and when your post shows up! If you don’t blog, I would love to invite you to be a guest on my blog and will share your responses.

In this exercise, some questions we might wrestle with are:

What kind of difference would this make in the Iowa Annual Conference?
What are the obstacles to passing the vision/mission/priorities?
What are the obstacles to living them out?
What are some lingering questions you have or places you feel led to push back?
What excites you? What inspires you? What stirs your soul so that you can’t wait to get started?
What are we missing?

Up front disclosure: I was on the writing team for this project and have spent a lot of time invested in the work. It’s not perfect. It isn’t even really finished… that will happen on the floor of the Annual Conference as we adopt the priorities and then work to perfect the goals as a legislative body… and even then, we are creating a working document. I’m hopeful and prayerful that God truly is leading us outside of our old structures and into a new reality – focused on relationship, mission, discipleship, and life in our community. I’m happy to answer any questions you might have and/or talk about where I’m still struggling!!!

I’m not looking for your approval, but your deep engagement and conversation… and to invite those who respond in your own circles to do the same. I want us to be as informed, prepared, and above all SPIRIT LED as we get to the actual conversations on the floor of annual conference as we can be. And that takes connection and holy conversation.

PLEASE seek out others who are writing and read and interact with their thoughts and responses!

PLEASE invite others to blog also! And if you have friends/colleagues/church members/neighbors who don’t blog, invite them to write a guest post for your blog to broaden the engagement!

All in all… thank you. And let me know when you post next week so I can link your posts and share them broadly.

All Shall Be Well,

Katie Z.

p.s. I hope this might be the start of deeper connection among the bloggers in our conference, as well!

Driving Behind a Trooper

Posted on May 1, 2013Leave a comment

I hopped on the interstate, fresh from an invigorating meeting, ready to put the pedal to the metal and get home. I had an hour and forty minute drive ahead of me, so with an energy drink and a bag of pretzels in my passenger seat I was prepared to settle in, set my cruise control at 76 and go.

Yes, I speed. Not excessively, but fast enough. Six or seven over…

And on Interstate-80, many do.

My dad always told me that if you aren’t going with the flow of traffic you are a hazard to other drivers.

So I flow.

I picked up speed coming from the onramp and fell in pace behind a number of vehicles. I set the cruise. I turned up NPR.

And then the tail lights ahead of me started turning red.

Slowing up.

Cautious.

State Trooper.

And not a trooper that sits in the median and everyone slows down for a few minutes and then keeps right on going…

No, this state trooper was driving, with the rest of us… at 71 miles per hour.

The cars traveling ahead of me gradually got into the right hand lane, directly behind the state trooper.

No one was passing.

And then there would be that vehicle coming up from the left, going 75 or 77 and they would zoom on by only to hit their own brakes, and slow up, and sheepishly get in line with everyone else.

I followed that state trooper for an hour and fifteen minutes, so I had a lot of time to think about how we behave when we think “big brother” is watching. When the authorities are present. When we suddenly feel the need to fall into line and be on our best behavior.

Having just come from a meeting with pastors and the Bishop, I thought about how we do this in ministry.

We may not have speed limits or fines for going too fast, but we sure do know how to stiffle creativity and cause people to fall in line.

Many times I have watched as things were just gaining momentum… Just as we start putting the pedal to the metal with risky new ministries, someone speaks up: you can’t do that. We watch someone else stumble and falter and fear creeps back in and we don’t take the risk. We slow down and take baby steps, rather than charge ahead.

And just like on the interstate… when everyone is going 71 mph, driving in the right hand lane, behind the state trooper… the passion, the energy, the thrill of the open road is gone. We get stagnant. We get in each others way. We get anxious. Brake lights come on over and over again. No one wants to get in trouble… but secretly we hope someone does so that the rest of us are off the hook for a little while. We are constantly aware of someone watching us and it limits what we are able to accomplish.

I’m not saying we need to break the rules… well, maybe… depends on what the rules are!

What I’m really trying to say is that we need to create room and space for risky ministry…. for open and free ministry… for ministry that is okay with failure and taking chances and trying things. We need to not be so concerned with the authorities who are watching and we need to feel free to do something creative and new in our local churches.

Who is going to be courageous enough to drive 73 or 74 and pass the trooper?

These things we try… they might not work. We might find ourselves a bit down the road and have to switch gears. That’s fine! But then, we need “authorities” who encourage and support those who are feeling the wind at their back and the spirit blowing them forward.

At one point on our drive, the trooper slowed down to 68 mph as he found himself behind a semi-truck. But he stayed there longer than he needed to.

One by one, cars moved into the left lane and picked up a little speed.

They passed.

They weren’t pulled over.

I think that might be called grace.

A little breathing room. Backing off a bit so that others can move forward freely. Flexibility. Awareness. Making space.

The open road awaits.

salvaging a forgotten purpose

Posted on January 10, 2013Leave a comment

Six years ago, I purchased a FranklinCovey planner.

And then technology changed and I started keeping track of my calendar through gmail and with a smart phone it is so convenient to have that electronic copy everywhere. The planner had long since been hiding in a closet.

But as I have been traveling and having meetings, I realized it is helpful to have a paper calendar with the ability to take notes and remember who I talked to when and what about. So I dug out that old planner, purchased a new weekly calendar to put in it.

In the process, I found the section of the planner that is really the “franklincovey” benefit – clarification of mission, values, roles and purpose… along with questions and activities to help you discover them. Talk about finding something from the past and wanting to salvage it!

It is fascinating to look back and to see what those values, roles and purposes were and how they have or have not changed:

Values… most of which have not changed one bit!

authenticity
simplicity
hospitality
physical well-being
communication
embodiment
rhythm/balance
relationships

Roles

Fiancee/Partner (Now wife!)
Ministry Intern (Now minister, fundraiser, organizer)
Graduate Student (So glad I’m not worrying about classes now!)
Daughter/Granddaughter/Sister
Friend

What is one thing you could accomplish in your professional life that would have the most positive impact?

Creating a change of paradign within the United Methodist Church that would allow us to value embodiment, ritual, authenticity and would be inclusive of all people. This would creat opportunities for individuals and communities to have real and life-changing experiences of God.

What is the one thing you could accomplish in your personal life that would have the most positive impact?

Practice the spiritual life with my family in such a way that we are aware of our connection/dependence upon God and this creation; truly live according to a discipline that values simplicity and the rhythm of life.

The kind of person I want to be:

joyful
simple
compassionate
authentic
relaxed
open
hospitable
accepting
loving
relational
empathetic
holy
merciful

All the things I would like to do:

visit the Czech Republic
get married (done!)
have children
plant a garden (done!)
connect with a monastary
work with the dying (I have LOVED funeral ministry)
preside over the sacraments (yes!)
join a CSA
host weekly dinners (well, we don’t host, but we have them!)

All the things I would like to have:

a home with a garden (yes… although our current house will have a container garden)
a large kitchen for entertaining
a plan for retirement

I actually never completed the section that has you draft and then finalize your purpose statement, but I think in many ways what I had written gives voice to that purpose. As I think back upon these last five or six years, many of those values and desires have been lived out. I truly tried to minister in my congregation and in this conference with that “vision” of what I wanted to accomplish professionally in mind – although not with great intent. It is part of who I am, however, and so even without specifically trying, it has been a part of what I do. Even in my work with Imagine No Malaria, I can help us to do work with our hands and feet, truly engage our communities, and share what we know and have experienced with one another. I want to involve everyone in this amazing effort to do something great for (and with) God.

What I have missed out on and am trying to reclaim in my life right now is that sense of rhythm. A schedule, a discipline, for every day life. In the past few weeks, I have been working on precisely that so it was amazing to rediscover that in the pages of this planner. I have been establishing a pattern for myself that includes dishwashing before bed, laundry on Saturdays, coffee and devotions in the morning, and a plan for meals that allows us to eat simply and healthily. I’m not stressed about those things… they are finding their place, although gradually. And I’m grateful to reclaim that rhythm as a core value in my life.